我的作文，希望大家帮忙评判

The title statement is focus in these days and any speech about it would strike the top lines of most newspapers. People may prefer one to another, although some have no opinion about it. But if I am concerned, I agree with classmates are a more important influence than parents in a chlid’s success in school, I will reason and provide concrete evidence to support my point as follows.

The first and most important reason is that it is human nature to spend more time on classmates than on parents in one’s childhood. If you look around, you will always see children play football or basketball togther. A small example will give some light to this point, it is said that when I was a child, I liked to play with my best friends and shared my secrets and personal feelings with them wihich I did not want tell parents. And then, my classmates or best friends would stay with me and they always pointed out my defects directly, which helped me learn more about myself.

Under some circumstances, the deviation of classmates are influnce more than parents in school would be potentially harmful, or at least, unpredictable in its results. For instance, most times, classmates are the best friends in one’s childhood, one of the classmate’s behabior will influence others’. Children often can not distinguish the good qualities and bad aspects of one thing, learn the bad aspects of one thing always is the beginning of violent. I illustrate the extreme exmple just in attempt to state one thing clearly chlidren used to learn from his or her best friends.

Moreover, in most Chinese families, the responsbility of parents is thinking how to improve their children’s score and they always do not care the development of both physical and psychological. Therefor, the only way that children can keep the health of both physical and psychological is just from their friends or classmates. This can be only broght by children keep both physical and psychological health from their classmates, exclusively. And deviation from it will cause manipulatin of the good.

These reasons sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them. Then any thinking person must agree that classmates’ influence is more important than parents in one’s success in school.

我写的一篇作文，希望大家能帮忙评判，大概能得多少分

是例子不够好么，还是原因