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楼主
发表于 2007-7-28 19:42:00 | 只看该作者

新手作文,欢迎点评

the college years are the best time in a person's life,agree and disagree?

Nowadays more and more people enter university for further education and believe studying in university will give them a platform to acquire more knowledge, develop the social communication skill and thus make themselves more competitive in hunting  jobs and establishing careers. However, there are still many other people don't have the chance to or not reluctant to go to university for various reasons. If the statement that the college years are the best time in a person's life goes right, does it mean these people have lost their treasure time  without being enrolled in college ? The answer to this question is definitely 'No' ,and thus I'm not quite agree with the title statement .

As to me, the best time is when we could share happiness with our families and friends without being plagued by diseases, sorrow and troublesome events. So anyone, irrelevant of receiving or not an education from the college, can enjoy themselves during different stages of life. One can receive the caring love from his/her parents and live carefree in his/her childhood; one can gain confidence and acknowledgement by fulfilling  his/her dream; one can be content to develop a family , bear babies and watch them grow up; one can also live a peaceful life in his/her later years. These are all meaningful and crucial times in our entire lives.

It's undeniable that the college years are also significant and some of us would deem them as their best time because it is an irreversible period when we are youthful, energetic and aspiring. Nevertheless, personally I would like to treat college years as a stage to improve ourselves and struggle for better lives henceforth. That is to say, by utilizing the knowledge we have mastered during this stage we probably deserve to have a better time ever since.

In conclusion, we should live our lives splendid at all times, not just immersing ourselves in the short-lived and fore-passed days.  The past days shouldn't be termed as best, as we have the belief to live tomorrow better than today.

沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-29 12:36:00 | 只看该作者
有人能帮忙看下吗
板凳
发表于 2007-7-29 13:18:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用efficient在2007-7-28 19:42:00的发言:

the college years are the best time in a person's life,agree and disagree?

Nowadays more and more people enter university for further education and believe studying in university will give them a platform to acquire more knowledge, and develop the social communication skills, and thus make themselves more competitive in hunting  jobs and establishing careers. However, there are still many other people don't have the chance to or are not reluctant to go to university for various reasons. (个人意见,however, there are still many other people are reluctant or do not have the chance to go to universities? for various reasons.) If the statement that the college years are the best time in a person's life goes right, does it mean these people have lost their treasure time  without being enrolled in college? (个人意见:does it mean that people not being enrolled in colleges? have lost their treasure time.) The answer to this question is definitely 'No' ,and thus I'm not quite agree with the title statement .

As to me, the best time is when we could (can, better?) share happiness with our families and friends without being plagued by diseases, sorrow and troublesome events. So anyone, irrelevant of receiving or not an education from the? college, can enjoy themselves during different stages of life. One can receive the caring love from his/her parents and live carefree (carefree是形容词,用在这里合适吗?) in his/her childhood; one can gain confidence and acknowledgement by fulfilling  his/her dream; one can be content to develop a family, bear babies and watch them grow up; and one can also live a peaceful life in his/her later years. These are all meaningful and crucial times in our entire lives
     eone's entire life.

It's undeniable that the college years are also significant and some of us would deem them as their best time because it is an irreversible period when we are youthful, energetic and aspiring. Nevertheless, personally I would like to treat college years as a stage to improve ourselves and struggle for better lives henceforth. That is to say, by utilizing the knowledge we have mastered during this stage we probably deserve? to have a better time ever since.

In conclusion, we should? live our lives splendid at all times, not just immersing ourselves in the short-lived and fore-passed days.  The past days shouldn't be termed as the best, as we have the belief to live tomorrow better than today.


[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-29 13:19:05编辑过]
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-29 13:38:00 | 只看该作者
谢谢LS指正
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-29 14:01:00 | 只看该作者

one ; one; one ; and one   这里是不是不能加AND

还有  live carefree 是做表语   这样可以吗 

6#
发表于 2007-7-29 14:10:00 | 只看该作者

嗯,live carefree应该可以吧。我只是不肯定,因为我觉得可以,但是不肯定。

好像英文的句式就是这样,任何并列的单词或句子结尾一个要加 and, xxx,xxx,xxx and xxx, 高考语法语法书看过好象。所以很久以前开始写作文就很注意这个了。

7#
发表于 2007-7-29 14:12:00 | 只看该作者
用分号隔开的好像不能用连词
8#
发表于 2007-7-29 15:22:00 | 只看该作者
是这样啊?
9#
发表于 2007-7-29 18:14:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用siwfly在2007-7-29 15:22:00的发言:
是这样啊?

用分号隔开的,是两个并列的结构

因为有了分号,所以不用连词

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