第一篇限时作文，帮忙指点一下，互拍也好

129．我们学校要建一个实验室，是建一个研究agriculture的好还是建一个研究business的好

Should society put on more emphasis on business then on agriculture? And if your university intends to build a new research center, which one will you prefer, business center or that of agriculture? For this issue, I concede that business is important and will take more significant role in the development in a country as China but to the contemporary situation, I would like an additional agriculture research center rather than that of business in my university.

To be initial, agriculture is the foundation of other business and industry and is crucial for the existence of population. Without enough food, people can even not live their own lives and how can they spare money for luxuries and other goods? And if you build a new business research center and bring about some discoveries and outcomes finally, how can these outcomes serve for the country if its people are still suffering from starvation? Nowadays in China, though majority of the population have their lives more conveniently and richly, their still exist some people struggling for food especially in the west part of the country. So for this situation, to solve these emergencies, setting up an agriculture research center is a better choice.

Additionally, agriculture is important for the export of China and thus is helpful to the economic development. As only set up for 50 years as the country and many industries are only in the condition of initial development, agriculture serves a more important role than most of other industries because of the relatively sufficient resource in China and its long history for agriculture. China has so many large plains which are quite suitable for agriculture and such a complete water system for irrigation, both these giving China a well-found base to further the agriculture. Compared with those business and industries requiring relatively high technology and science level where China has not many advantages in, agriculture however gives us more chance to be in a prior position in the world competition. From this aspect, I still buttress that an agriculture research center should be put on priority.

However, it does not mean that business research is not useful or not important in today's China. Agriculture is only the basic and one aspect of the economy while other business and industries also hold on numerous significances in a country. We all describe contemporary world as managed by technology and information where maintaining advanced technology and temporary information can give the nations most advantages. This requires the government not only cares about such fundamental industries as agriculture but also emphasizes more on other business where the advantages of information and technology greatly embody. Also, for a healthier and steady economy, multi-angle development is necessary. Both these above reveal the importance of the business and make a research center under consideration.

In conclusion, I prefer an agriculture center than a research center of business being building in our university. Based on my personal experience and the actual situation of China, development in agriculture area has more emergencies and should be put on priorities.

同学说however那段写得太多了，大正小负的负用不着写这么多，觉得也是

不过如果只写两三句的话是独立一段呢还是并到结尾段呢

我也写了一篇,就lz这个题目，请大家帮忙指点下吧. Thx .

If I can have a decision on whether to build Agriculture
                Center or Business
                    Center, I prefer the later. This choice does not mean agriculture is not important, but to me, business plays a way more significant role in modern society.

   Business is about making profit and gaining possession. Business people make money by buying low and selling high. And then they'll invest part of the profit to other businesses and projects, i.e. real estate, which has become an investment destination these years. The investment can create more jobs and higher salaries to citizens and way more taxes to government. Jobs and salaries can ensure people to live a comfortable life while taxes can let government provide public service, which get life better. That's why business can benefit both individual and society.

    In addition, the university I'm in provides outstanding business courses and majors. Professionals are good at both theoretic research and practice. Students can learn from the courses and also the internship in Forbes 500. If there's a business center, I'm convince that there's going to be much more researches and new ideas in business which will benefit enterprises, government and individual.

    Besides, I'm a student on business. I do hope there's a leading business center in my university. And this center can provide me and my schoolmates plenty of opportunities to be involved in corporate surveys, theoretic learning and practice. I believe this kind of experience can open my eyes and let the futures in.

    For these reasons, I prefer a business center in my university more.

几点意见：

1。今天一口气看了好多位朋友的作文，都有这个通病，就是相当“模板”，而且都是长着极其相似的样子。哎，我一个晚上看了5、6篇已经觉得看着就很累了，你们想想rater一天得看多少文章啊~IBT作文要拿高分，请谨记，要摆脱中国学生传统的“模板写作”的框框。

2。文章结构不错，就是如你自己所说,来了一个这么详细的“however”，未免显得有些骑墙了~我不建议大家观点摇摆，该是怎么样就怎么样，坚持自己的观点才不容易跑题。纯粹个人见解了。

3。楼主在句式和词汇的运用上还是有一定功力的，继续坚持了。

MM用了另外一个观点，也是相当有才滴~

我的comments:1。观点明确，结构清晰，在organisation方面做得相当不错了。

2。topic development方面，叙述比较平淡，没有层层紧扣的感觉，但overall来说也不错了。

3。问题最大的应该算是language use了，整个感觉太“平”了些，无论是用词还是句式都太简单了些，这点会影响评分者对你语言驾驶能力的评价，自然也会影响分数。建议MM平时多多积累，并且运用到文章中去。

4。字数似乎有点太少了，并不是说一定就写得越长越好了，但是基本的要求350以上还是得保证才行。