帮忙改改作文，看看这篇作文需要什么样的提高！谢谢！！！

Topic: It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

With the development of the modern society, more and more people are challenged, they have to learn more knowledge, some people refer to learn from experience, since many employers are willing to hire the persons who have the knowledge learned from experience, others think books is more important resource. If I were forced to choose, I would choose the latter, and the perspectives are given follows.

First, Learning knowledge from books is very convenient. You can read the book at any time and any place without any limitation. As we all know, we can read the book at the late night, we can read the book at the toilet, we can read the book on the bed. But if we choose to learn knowledge from the work, can we do that?  Also we can learn the knowledge from the book at any time, when we feel tire, we can stop reading, only signed the mark.

Second, Learning knowledge from books is easier than learning from experience. As we all know, we can get all the knowledge what you want to learn from the books, but can we get the knowledge about moon, deep sea, and poison gas etc. yeah, you can, but it is very difficult, so most of the people can not.

Admittedly, we can not belittle about the knowledge that get from experience. Many employers are willing to hire some persons who have worked experience, the knowledge that they get from work is impressive, they can do the job better than some persons who only get the knowledge from books.

From what we discussed above, we can draw a conclusion that it is more important to get knowledge from books than from experience not only because reading books is more convenient, but also because learning knowledge from books is easier. Even with the development of Electronic books, traditional books still cannot be replaced.

30分钟内匆忙搞定，惭愧，发现了不少问题，

but can we get the knowledge about moon, deep sea, and poison gas etc from experience. yeah, you can, but it is very difficult, so most of the people can not.  sometimes, you should cost high price.

改正之一

有的句子语法错误严重：例如：With the development of the modern society, more and more people are challenged, they have to learn more knowledge, some people refer to learn from experience, since many employers are willing to hire the persons who have the knowledge learned from experience, others think books is more important resource

一句话里包含了很多句子，这是不对的。一句话只有一个主句。

另外，还有一些错误，你先自己改改再贴上来

修改后的文章，请指导！

With the development of the modern society, more and more people are challenged, so they have to learn more knowledge than ever before. some people refer to learn from experience, since many employers are willing to hire those who have the knowledge learned from experience, others think books are more important resources. If I were forced to choose, I would choose the latter, and the perspectives are given follows.

First, Learning knowledge from books is very convenient. You can read the book at any time and any place without any limitation. As we all know, we can read books at the deep night; we can read books at the toilet; we can read books on the bed. But if we choose to learn knowledge from the work,  how can we do that?  Also we can learn the knowledge from books at any time, when we feel tire, we can stop reading, only need to sign a mark.

Second, Learning knowledge from books is easier than from experience. As we all know, we can get all the knowledge what you want to learn from books, but being a normal person, can we get the knowledge about moon, deep sea, and poison gas etc. The answer is negative.

Admittedly, we cannot belittle about the learning knowledge from experience. Many employers are willing to hire some persons who have work experience, because the knowledge that they get from work is pratical and very useful. They can do the job better than some persons who only get the knowledge from books.

From what we have discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that it is more important to get knowledge from books than from experience not only because reading books is more convenient, but also because learning knowledge from books is easier. Even with the development of Electronic books, traditional books still cannot be replaced.

再次修改

With the development of the modern society, more and more people are challenged in their knowledg at their works, so they have to learn more knowledge than ever before. Some people refer to learn from experience, since many employers are willing to hire those who have the knowledge learned from experience, however, others think books are more important resources. To agree or disgree with it is a matter of  balancing its pros and cons. If I were forced to choose, I would choose the latter, and the perspectives are given as follows.

First, Learning knowledge from books is very convenient. You can read the book at any time and any place without any limitation. As we all know, we can read books at the deep night; We can read books at the toilet; We can read books on the bed. But if we choose to learn knowledge from the work,  how can we do that?  Also we can learn the knowledge by reading books at any time. When we feel tire, we can stop reading, with signing a mark.

Second, Learning knowledge from books is easier than from experience. As we all know, we can get all the knowledge that you want to learn from books, but being a normal person, can we get the knowledge about moon, deep sea, and poison gas etc from experience. The answer is negative.

Admittedly, we cannot belittle about the learning knowledge from experience. Many employers are willing to hire some persons who have work experience, because the knowledge that they get from work is pratical and very useful. They were believe that they can do the job better than some persons who only get the knowledge from books.

From what we have discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that it is more important to get knowledge from books than from experience not only because reading books is more convenient, but also because learning knowledge from books is easier. Even with the development of Electronic books, traditional books still cannot be replaced.

With the development of the modern society, more and more people are challenged, so they have to learn more knowledge than ever before. some people refer to learn from experience, since many employers are willing to hire those who have the knowledge learned from experience, others think books are more important resources.（你又犯了一句话两个句子毛病） (In contrast, others think books are important resources.)If I were forced to (have to ) choose, (my preference is for)  the latter, and the (my) perspectives are given follows.

First, (The most important reason for me to make the choice is that ) Learning knowledge from books is very convenient.(不要用first,second等，免得让人觉得太初步)You can read the book at any time and any place without any limitation. As we all know, we can read books at the deep night; we can read books at the toilet; we can read books on the bed. But if we choose to learn knowledge from the work,  how can we do that?  Also(Obviously,) we can learn the knowledge from books at any time, when we feel tire（tired）, we can stop reading, only need to (and ) sign a mark.

Second, Learning knowledge from books is easier than from experience. As we all know, we can get all the knowledge what you want to learn from books, but being a normal person, can we get the knowledge about moon, deep sea, and poison gas etc. The answer is negative.(太少，应当发挥一下)

Admittedly, we cannot belittle about the learning knowledge from experience. Many employers are willing to hire some persons who have work experience, because the knowledge that they get from work is pratical and very useful. They can do the job better than some persons who only get the knowledge from books. （要在最后一句话，重申一下书本知识的重要性）例如：However, nobody could get all knowledge just from their experience.

From what we have discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that it is more important to get knowledge from books than from experience not only because reading books is more convenient, but also because learning knowledge from books is easier. Even with the development of Electronic books, traditional books still cannot be replaced( 电子书籍也是书，不是别的，只有更加增加了你的论据，这句话逻辑上有问题。)

看到楼上的修改了。

     谢谢！farsuccess。 对你的钦佩之情如长江之水滔滔不绝，如夏夜的蚊虫连连不断！