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[求助]要考試了~可以幫我改作文嗎? 非常感謝!

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楼主
发表于 2009-8-4 04:44:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]要考試了~可以幫我改作文嗎? 非常感謝!

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge).Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

People attend college or university for many different reasons. Some people want new experiences, others want to prepare for careers. In my opinion, there are some important reasons why people want to attend college or university. In the following discussion, I would develop my ideas in sufficient depth and details.

 

First of all, people who have degrees can get better jobs and earn more money than others. In my country, don’t have degrees is a serious issue that if we don’t have a bachelors or a masters degree, we won’t a get good position in any companies. In addition, most firms will also offer high salary for people who graduate from college or university.

 

Second reason is that people want to learn more and increase their knowledge. We all know what we learned in high school is only common knowledge, including native language, math, general science, etc. However, these skills we learned in high school are not enough for future careers. If we want to understand more specific knowledge, such as economics, marketing, or calculus, we have to study in college or university.

 

Last, but not least, people want to prove they are as good as others. In my country, over ninety percents of people have bachelor degrees; it is very common, and all children have to attend college or university. If we don’t do that, our parents will be very ashamed of us. Moreover, putting my family to shame is a terrible thing in our culture.

 

To sum up, getting a better job and earning more money, learning more and increasing knowledge, and proving themselves are the three most important reasons why I think people have to attend college or university.

沙发
发表于 2009-8-4 13:59:00 | 只看该作者

虽然我水平也不咋地,我就随便说两句吧……

其中文章有一些很明显的错误:don’t have degrees is a serious issue that if we don’t have a bachelors or a masters degree, we won’t a get good position in any companies. 语法不对,可以改成not having a diploma,后半句 won’t a get 可能是笔误

感觉比较生硬,而且语言跟词汇的把握不是很到位。不过条理还是比较清楚的,下面是我根据楼主写的改改的,观点完全是楼主的,顺序也没变,把句型和用词改了

There exist considerable and various reasons why people attend college, including acquiring a diploma, accumulating new experiences, preparing for the future career and so on. In the following discussion, I would like to present you several reasons, exhibiting them in sufficient depth and details.

 大概就是这样了,改改就可以啦

 大概就是这样了,改改就可以啦

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2009-8-5 07:44:00 | 只看该作者

感謝感謝 大大 指導

對了 最近發現滿分模板

想套來用用看

寫好在放上來請大大們檢查檢查 @@

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