悬月清辉的原创作业贴~好好写作 天天向上！

悬月清辉

从今天开始加入小分队大家庭！坚持就是胜利~求狠批

悬月清辉

2014/3/16 独立写作
Should the government support artists or should the artists support themselves?

    The 21 centry has witnessed the increasing of great modern artists arising from the improvement of people's spiritual life. However,some voices in current wisdom argue that weather the government should support artists. As I see it, the art work need the government's donate which is the essential way to be success.
    Indeed, artists who ignore the government and do their own work have the freedom as well as,free will in creation to some extent. For one, they can create plenty of surprising productions that convey their attitude forward the world. For another, they have more flexibility of the subject matter as well as the formation to express. The great example is that to interpret the understanding of some conflict between the countries, the artists can use watercolor, sculpture or sketch.
    Despite that artists have more space of creation without government's support,I am still more convinced that it is better for them to accept government's help such as the funding or publicity and so on which have the initial dominant position.First of all, artists' works do not always have the good price in the art market,which result in the money earned by them is extremely unstable as to give up their creative work.But if government gives them abundant resource to support the artists, they  should not worry about the external condition instead pay more attention to the individual subsistence problems and then stimulate the wonderful work. For these concerns,isn't there ample evidence to justify that governmental financial support of artistic creation serves as a better role than reliance of artist person.
    Better still,the government also has the ability to publicize the artists.For artists,the popularity around the world which decides the social status and the income is intensely important.So they also value the way to advertise themselves. However,there is no organization that can maximize the publicity than the government do.Take Michelangelo Buonarroti for instance. Michelangelo was the Renaissance artist who exerted an unparalleled influence on the development of western art.He was asked to create plenty of fantastic works such as "the Sistine Chapel Ceiling"and"David" by the pontiff who gave him the money, tools, stuff and chance to finish them. At that time, he was absorbed in the way to increase the quality of his works and because of his perfect work, he is called one of the three great masters of the Italian Renaissance. Without the chance pontiff gave to him, he might not have had the time and motive power to explode his talent.
    Weighing in mind the necessity of government support, all the evidence justifies an unshakable conclusion that the government should pay more attention to the artists rather than correspond them to their own needs,especially in an overwhelming age of cultural prosperity.It is high time that the government had to provide more advertisement and abundant resource to the artists.
word: 470

悬月清辉

2014/3/17 独立写作
Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place.

   The 21 century has witnessed that our quality of life, such as the traffic and the network technology, have gotten better and better.However, some voices in current wisdom claim that even though the scientific and technical progress will continue,the most significant improvement for the quality of people's life have already taken place.An analysis of this argument would reveal how fallacious it is.As far as my propensity is concerned,I can hardly approve of this assertion.
   Indeed,we have to meticulously admit that our life experience have arrived to the top to some extent,which mostly find expression in the way we contact with each other.In the past, only should we write the letter and send it to the friends in different city for one or two weeks if we attempted to  keep in touch with someone.But on the contemporary society, social contact have been more easier by the network which we can just use our smart phone to have a video with someone even in another side of earth.
   Despite, through out ancient and modern, human been also have lots of issues which even have not been solved such as the way to resist the cancer.It may sound exaggerated that the cancer has damaged everyone's health, but on the whole, the medical scientists point out that the proportion of the people who have the opportunity getting the cancer has risen form 20% to 60%.That is to say,the people include us may have more possibilities getting the cancer or other disease that can't be healed, which makes human unhappy as well as inconvenience.In the light of the aforementioned argumentation,has our life quality already been the peak?
   Besides, we also have the requirement of the progress in varies aspects, especially in science and technology, which can make our world be better and get more economic benefit.We do not have to look vary far to find out the validity of this proposition, as common sense tells us that only can we have the more technology, we will have the higher quality of the life with the time goes on. Without the advance of medical science, our illness could not have been cured;without the evolution of network, we could not have had the messages around the world at such short time;without the pullulate of airplane, we could not have traveled all over the world so efficient.
   After close examination,it is possible for us to argue that we can not have the absolutely wording that our life have already been the best condition.From long-running perspective, what we aspire for such a controversy is a critical yet objective attitude.
words:430

psychoarya

小伙伴实在不好意思 16号的我下午给你改！

悬月清辉

psychoarya 发表于 2014-3-18 12:33
小伙伴实在不好意思 16号的我下午给你改！

好的没事~

psychoarya

能力有限。。加油！

jay871750293

向LZ学习了~
加油！！！

悬月清辉

psychoarya 发表于 2014-3-18 19:19
能力有限。。加油！

改得很好啦~果然有许多小错误写的时候都没注意，也谢谢亲看得如此细致~还有很长的路要走，一起加油！

悬月清辉

jay871750293 发表于 2014-3-18 20:50
向LZ学习了~
加油！！！

改得很好呢~ 除了犯的许多低级错误以外，那几个句子好像确实换个说法会更顺畅一些。总之也学习了不少~
另外我落实了一下despite这个词，确实应该直接加名词：
despite:
1）+n. eg: despite the aforementioned compromise,I am still……
2）+that+句子 eg: despite that you have the money, you can not……

悬月清辉

jay871750293 发表于 2014-3-18 20:50
向LZ学习了~
加油！！！

一起加油！