ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
楼主: kchszy061ban
打印 上一主题 下一主题

kchszy061ban的作业贴

[复制链接]
31#
发表于 2012-6-18 20:32:12 | 只看该作者
TPO1 综合

In the reading passage,the author says that an option of a four-day workweek would benefit the company,the country,and (as well as 感觉放前边能顺畅一点) the employee as well.While,the professor in the lecture expresses his doubt in his mind about the advandages (advantages) suggestedin the reading passage.

First,the reading states the company's profits can be increased by as a result of(整个去掉,直接by+,是不是能简洁点) the shortened workweek.The reason is that company have (has) the option to hiring(hire....have option+to do吧) more staffs to ensure the same amount of work done by workers who make less errors.However,the professor argues that,the cost may even more than hiring five-day workweek workers.He explains that the company should pay the training fees,buy new computors,(increase larger) new office spaces ,and offer more medical insurance for hiring new workers,and (Moreover) the medical insurances like health benefits are the same,despite the worker works or not (four days or five....or not 跟原文意思不一样吧).So,the cost of hiring four-day workweek workers may even more than before.(感觉最后应该总结到sub point这个点上,that is, 公司的profits会cut down.)

Then the reading suggests that the unemployment rates would be reduced by offering four-day workweek options.(这个sub point有问题,应该是the country as a whole will benefits,而不是细节降低失业率)The reason is that four-day workweek workers only do 80 percent of the whole work,thus companies need extra workers to do another 20 percnet work by new workers.The professor argues that the company may expect the four-day workers to do the same amount of work as they did before (in five days...before跟five days的意思是不一样的,before可以指每天的工作量,而5天指的是总量);even worse (as a result),they may rise the working hours in order to do so.This will cause the workers work under unpleasant conditions,and it would not increases the job opportunities for others as well.

In the end of the passage,the author states that,by choosing a four-day workweek day,individual employees could reap more benefit, like affording more time to relax themselves.On the contrary,the professor warns that even this option means more free time,it may cause the workers have less time toadvance their skills.(好像没有提到这点诶)Meanwhile,when the economic condition is not so good,the four-day workweek workers would be the first to loose their work.Also,when the company want to find some workers which can be the management workers in the company,the four-day workweek workers are less likely to be choosed because of their unstability in their work place,and the workers who conver the entire work day are more consistent in their work,they are more likely to make a promotion in the company.

Conclusion:
提几点建议吧^^
1. 感觉sub point抓的不是特别准诶,我的依据是在CD下载的TPO综合写作解析,说的挺有道理的,里边也介绍有关于观点抽出的方法,我把pdf上传到附件里了,banban可以抽空看看。
2.就是关于阅读部分的细节问题了,banban这篇写得字比较多,有350+了吧,因为阅读和听力都抓的比较细。这个pdf也提出了一些TIP:没有必要在文章中出现passage部分的support和details,或者不能出现。但是,我的理解是,如果听力实在没听到细节,字数不够的时候,还是可以拿阅读的细节部分码码字来着。
呵呵,当然,每个人对于同一事物有不同的理解,banban可以有选择性地挑选适合自己的哦~~~

本帖子中包含更多资源

您需要 登录 才可以下载或查看,没有帐号?立即注册

x
32#
发表于 2012-6-18 20:36:37 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误



617110115 NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of a university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.



Nowadays, people become more and more foclusfocuson the education quality that the university(university) or college provided to the public. Educatin(Education) quality not noly(only) affects university's reputation, it is also essential for students in their future work place(这里为什么是工作的地方?应该是对学生未来的工作career 很重要吧). One of the problems directly related to this topic is that which is the main role of the university professor: to educate students or to do research? According to the above statements, professors in the university (这里不应该用“the”吧,没有特指哪个学校啊)should pay more attention to teach students. However, professors need to do researches to keep pace with their peers, to have a more deepdeeper understanding of the subject which they teach. And they do not do researches alone, they may need their students' help to do those researches. In fact, university also need their professors do researches to enhance their acdemic(academic) reputation. All of these can benefits universities, the students, and the professors themselves.



Professors need to do researches to explore new things in their field, in order to compete with other professors in the same field. As we all know, the resources are always limited, professors get their funding mainly from the government,thecompanies, some private associations. If they do not represent the leading position in their field, no one will give them the funding they need. One important way to keep at the forefront postion(position) is to do researches. I am a university student, my professor spend most of his spare time on his researches, which is about the LED. He got a lot of rewards from the state, and even applied two patents from the US. When we attended his class, he told us his experiences and his latest development. We learnt so much in his class. As you can see, doing researches help professors teach studetns(students) better.



Another point is thatasthestudents(as students 这里是不是要了?我不是很明白), professors need to do researches to update themselvesupdate这里是不是不适合?promote会好一些吧. The rapid changes in sciences and technologies, also in the society make mordern(modern) people can be easily left behind by others if they stand still. Some courses in the university, as computer science or biology, are changing from time to time. Professors just can not talk about the technologies which are used ten years ago to their students. If they do so, their students would have problems to find a job, just because what they learned in the university are no longer used by the companies any more. By doing researches, professors will keep contact with the new technologies used in the companies or the other universities. So, it is very important for professors to do researches.



Moreover, doing researches is an(a) communal activity. Professors always need their students' help to do their researches. And students sometimes play an important role in doing researches, they have so many ideas, they are eager to make some changes, and they are not confined by the norms as their professors are. So, doing researches both benefits students and professors.



Of course, professors have the responsibility to teach their students well, and provide them the latest knowledge to make them really educated. Therefore, they need to do researches in order to give their students the new information. Also, they do researches in their spare time, this will not do harm to teach their students.



Conclusion:

ban ban的作文真的让我受益匪浅啊,写的很好,逻辑性很强,观点也都很明确。

比我写的强太多了!

但是作文中用了好多特指,我觉得不是很必要。单词拼写也要注意一下哦~

个人水平很有限,不要介意哦~
33#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-6-18 21:00:46 | 只看该作者
多谢luna和xiaoxiong的辛苦修改额。  综合实在是有很多要学的了,不过好像综合不限制字数吧?  xiaoxiong你改的很仔细了额,你发现的拼写错误都是我检查之后仍然有的,我实在是太粗心了。
34#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-6-18 23:17:59 | 只看该作者
6月18日101017 大陆 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.
The advances of modern society provide people the convenience to relax themselves,some would like to reading books,which either paper-based or e-book, in their comforale and quiet home,or watch a moive with their family members or friends.While others engage in doing physical exercise such as running or mountain climbing when they want to relax themsevles.Generally speaking,people can relax their stressful mind when they read one interesting novel or watch a funny film,this really help them to relax.While,when they are reading or watching,they just stand still,or in other word,they do not move so much.Then,doing exercise make people healthy,help them contact clostly with the nature, and people then can work or study better in their work or study.

By doing physical exercise,people could enjoy a good health.Physical exercise,such as joging or running,help people build up a sound body.Human need some physical to keep health,because they are animals not plants.According to the "evolution theory",if peopel do not use one organ,then the that organ would probability suffers a degeneration process. While doing physical exercise can help people regularly use every part of their body,keep the healthy condition of their organ.One example is that in china,many old people would like to do exercise to keep heathy,an recent survey shows that old people who often do physical exercise have a better health and are less likely to catch a cold or other diseases.

In addition,doing physical exercise give people the opportunity to close to nature.Most of the residents now live in the sities,which have little space for the forest,green trees,and wild animals.While some exercies like mountain climbing,long distance running,give people the chance to appreciate the beauty of the nature.One can not imagine the amazing sights of the nature if they do not go there by themselves.

Also,doing physical exercise is different from people' daily work,thus,it help people experience a new enviorment and can help people relax both their spirit and their body.One example of this is that,after one day's busy work,I alway running for thirty minutes.I enjoy the feeling of runing on the road,on both sides of which are green grasses and trees,the birds are singing amoung the leaves of the tree.I breath the fresh air,enjoy the beauty of the nuture,and really feel relaxed when I come back to my dorm.Next day,I am in good condition to continue my study.My experience is not rare,many peopel are willing to do physical exercise to release their stress.

Of course,some people love reading or wacthing a movie when they want to espcape from their busy daily work.they also feel relief when they do those things.But according to the above statements,I recommend these people do some physical exercise in order to keep health and enjoy the beauty of the nature.
35#
发表于 2012-6-19 07:54:51 | 只看该作者
6月18日101017 大陆 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.
The advances of modern society provide people the convenience to relax themselves,some would like to reading books,which either paper-based or e-book, in their comforale and quiet home,or watch a moive with their family members or friends.While others engage in doing physical exercise such as running or mountain climbing when they want to relax themsevles.Generally speaking,people can relax their stressful mind when they read one interesting novel or watch a funny film,this really help them to relax.While,when they are reading or watching,they just stand still,or in other word,they do not move so much.Then,doing exercise make people healthy,help them contact clostly with the nature, and people then can work or study better in their work or study.

By doing physical exercise,people could enjoy a good health.Physical exercise,such as joging or running,help people build up a sound body.Human need some physical to keep health,because they are animals not plants.According to the "evolution theory",if peopel do not use one organ,then the that organ would probability suffers a degeneration process. While doing physical exercise can help people regularly use every part of their body,keep the healthy condition of their organ.One example is that in china,many old people would like to do exercise to keep heathy,an recent survey shows that old people who often do physical exercise have a better health and are less likely to catch a cold or other diseases.

In addition,doing physical exercise give people the opportunity to close to nature.Most of the residents now live in the sities,which have little space for the forest,green trees,and wild animals.While some exercies like mountain climbing,long distance running,give people the chance to appreciate the beauty of the nature.One can not imagine the amazing sights of the nature if they do not go there by themselves.

Also,doing physical exercise is different from people' daily work,thus,it help people experience a new enviorment and can help people relax both their spirit and their body.One example of this is that,after one day's busy work,I alway running for thirty minutes.I enjoy the feeling of runing on the road,on both sides of which are green grasses and trees,the birds are singing amoung the leaves of the tree.I breath the fresh air,enjoy the beauty of the nuture,and really feel relaxed when I come back to my dorm.Next day,I am in good condition to continue my study.My experience is not rare,many peopel are willing to do physical exercise to release their stress.

Of course,some people love reading or wacthing a movie when they want to espcape from their busy daily work.they also feel relief when they do those things.But according to the above statements,I recommend these people do some physical exercise in order to keep health and enjoy the beauty of the nature.
-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/6/18 23:17:59)


他人作文:
The advances of modern society provides people the convenience to relax themselves, some would like to reading books, which either paper-based or e-book, in their comforale comfortable and quiet home, or watch a moive movies with their family members or friends.这块描述的很详细哦~~好好~~ While others engage in doing physical exercise such as running or mountain climbing when they want to relax themselves . Generally speaking, people can relax their stressful mind when they read one interesting novel or watch a funny film, this really help them to relax. While, when they are reading or watching, they just stand still,vor in other words, they do not move so much. Then,这应该用个转折比较好吧~~however, doing exercise make people healthy, help them contact clostly想说closely~~with the nature, and people then can work or study better in their work or study.

By doing physical exercise, people could enjoy a good health. Physical exercise,such as joging or running,help people build up a sound body. Human need some physical to keep healthy, because they are animals not plants. According to the "evolution theory",if peopel do not use one organ,then the that organ would probability suffers a degeneration process. While doing physical exercise can help people regularly use every part of their body,keep the healthy condition of their organs.One example is that in china,many old people would like to do exercise to keep heathy,an recent survey shows that old people who often do physical exercise have a better health and are less likely to catch a cold or other diseases.
这个例子可以举得细一些,比如他们早晨锻炼啊,有的跟着音乐跳舞啊~~等等等的~~最后结尾再来个小总结

In addition,doing physical exercise give people the opportunity to close to nature.Most of the residents now live in the sities,which have little space for the forests,green trees,and wild animals.While some exercies like mountain climbing,long distance running,give people the chance to appreciate the beauty of the nature.One can not imagine the amazing sights of the nature if they do not go there by themselves.这不要用双重否定,一直都肯定就好了

Also,doing physical exercise is different from people' daily work,thus,it help people experience a new enviorment and can help people relax both their spirit and their body这一个观点跟前面的12有重复吧.One example of this is that,after one day's busy work,I alway running for thirty minutes.I enjoy the feeling of runing on the road,on both sides of which are green grasses and trees,the birds are singing amoung the leaves of the tree.I breath the fresh air,enjoy the beauty of the nuture,and really feel relaxed when I come back to my dorm.Next day,I am in good condition to continue my study.My experience is not rare,many peopel are willing to do physical exercise to release their stress.这段的例子和题目联系的很紧密~~但是论点要好好想想,跟身体上的那个例子,也就是第一点重复了~~


Of course,some people love reading or wacthing a movie when they want to espcape from their busy daily work.they also feel relief when they do those things.But according to the above statements,I recommend these people do some physical exercise in order to keep health and enjoy the beauty of the nature.
文章的小错误很多,例如拼写,复数等
而且有个问题,你没有说清楚为什么运动是一个很好的休闲放松的方式,你一直都在说运动的好处,但是他是怎么跟放松联系到一起去的呢?这个没有直接说明~~
36#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-6-19 10:30:52 | 只看该作者
TPO 2 综合    
In the reading passage,the author states the advantages of group work.However,the professor in the lectuer is skeptical about these advantages.And explain his reasons in the lecture.

First,according to the reading,a group of worker have more people to do the same projects,and they have more ways to do the project.While the professor cites an experiment has done,the result showed that the workerw were like to become free-ride when they were in a group.And then the group makes some succeses,they are asigned to the group.

Alao,when asking about the feeling of some workers who have made insightful contributions,they just says they feel opposite to what is said in the reading.Because their contribution are belong to the group,no one’s name is cited except the group.

Then,the reading says that because of more people invoved in a group project,they can finish the project quickly.While the professor argues that the fact is that it takes long time to make an agreement amoung all the members.If some of the group members are so infulcial to others,they would become dictated,most of the tiem they make a dicision without discussion,even when other members warn that the direction of that decision may be wrong.If their decision is proved to be a mistake,then the mistake would attribute to all the group members.
37#
发表于 2012-6-19 14:49:51 | 只看该作者
6月18日101017 大陆 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.
The advances of modern society provide people the convenience to relax themselves,some would like to reading books,which either paper-based or e-book, in their comforale and quiet home,or watch a moive with their family members or friends.While others engage in doing physical exercise such as running or mountain climbing when they want to relax themsevles.Generally speaking,people can relax their stressful mind when they read one interesting novel or watch a funny film,this really help them to relax.While,when they are reading or watching,they just stand still,or in other word,they do not move so much.Then,doing exercise make people healthy,help them contact clostly with the nature, and people then can work or study better in their work or study.

By doing physical exercise,people could enjoy a good health.Physical exercise,such as joging or running,help people build up a sound body.Human need some physical to keep health,because they are animals not plants.According to the "evolution theory",if peopel do not use one organ,then the that organ would probability suffers a degeneration process. While doing physical exercise can help people regularly use every part of their body,keep the healthy condition of their organ.One example is that in china,many old people would like to do exercise to keep heathy,an recent survey shows that old people who often do physical exercise have a better health and are less likely to catch a cold or other diseases.

In addition,doing physical exercise give people the opportunity to close to nature.Most of the residents now live in the sities,which have little space for the forest,green trees,and wild animals.While some exercies like mountain climbing,long distance running,give people the chance to appreciate the beauty of the nature.One can not imagine the amazing sights of the nature if they do not go there by themselves.

Also,doing physical exercise is different from people' daily work,thus,it help people experience a new enviorment and can help people relax both their spirit and their body.One example of this is that,after one day's busy work,I alway running for thirty minutes.I enjoy the feeling of runing on the road,on both sides of which are green grasses and trees,the birds are singing amoung the leaves of the tree.I breath the fresh air,enjoy the beauty of the nuture,and really feel relaxed when I come back to my dorm.Next day,I am in good condition to continue my study.My experience is not rare,many peopel are willing to do physical exercise to release their stress.

Of course,some people love reading or wacthing a movie when they want to espcape from their busy daily work.they also feel relief when they do those things.But according to the above statements,I recommend these people do some physical exercise in order to keep health and enjoy the beauty of the nature.
-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/6/18 23:17:59)



banban, 小A姐已经改得比较详细咯,我就大概说一下自己的想法吧,这次我想的也是支持physical exercises这边~
总体感觉banban在具体细节的细化方面做得一直是挺好的~撒花~ 要学习啊~
1.恩恩,就像小A姐说的,
By doing physical exercise, people could enjoy a good health 但是跟relax的关系? 最后是不是再点题一下会比较好?
2. close to nature 这点还是不错的呢,反正之前我是没想到的

我对这个命题自己大概想了三点:
I think doing sports works better to relax, 1.by clearing our head away from the daily work or study, 2.by providing us a outlet to let go of our pressure and anxiety in a healthy way,3. and also doing exercise is not merely a way of relaxation, more importantly it is a positive and lively attitude towards life.
就是想说,1.可以换个环境,体育锻炼能让我们focus on our own thoughts,不受外界物质生活干扰,放空心灵 2.平常office work还有study用眼用脑多,看书看电影也是需要用眼用脑的,体育锻炼可以让我们用一种更healthy的方式放松 3.体育锻炼不仅休息身心,其实更是一种向上的,生命在于运动的生活态度.而有了这种态度,其实生活中很多pressure,tension问题也可以游刃而解了.

呵呵,我们来brainstom一下吧, ban ban 加油啊!!!
38#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-6-19 22:41:37 | 只看该作者
6月19日110820NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees.

Nowadays,more and more companies becomes to focus on finding the best methods to improve their profits as well as cut costs.Gernerally speaking,so many ways can be used to obtain this goal.It may be benefitial for a company to spend money to update their equipments,to cultivitate its future labor forces in a university,or to improve the work skills of its employees.Everyone knows that a factory can not work without workers,even the advanced technologies today help some companies finish part of their work by robots.So,spending money to improve the work skills of its employees is the basic option for a company.

The main reason to improve the worker's skills is that it can improve the work efficiendy of the workers.Workers becomes familiar with the processes of their work,the way about how to do better and to save time after they are trained.Thus they shortcut the time they spend on their work.In the same amount time compared to the day before,they can produce more products.Meanwhile,when they become familiar with the processes,they will make fewer mistakes than before.This also contributes to improve the work efficiency.Therefore,by improving worker's skills,the company can produce more products with high quality.

Then,the company can make more profits by improving their worker's skills.As what states in the first paragraph,more products means more money for the comopany.At the same time,if the workers in the sale department are well enough to persuade their consumers to buy their products,these products will bring real money to the company.One improtant way to help the sale workers is to improve their work skills.Thus it is very important for a company to invest money on this.

After the work efficiency and profits are all improved,the company will develop more quickly.The company will have more money to invest on other things that can help it to develop faster and bigger.Such as the company will have the ability to purchase more sophisticated machines to produce more precise products.And at the same time they may afford new technologies to produce new products which can make more profits for the company,and to compete with other companies in the same field.

Of course,one risk of improving the worker's skills is that they may jump the manager after they learn the skills and the company can not provide them with the salaries they need,or the promotion they demand.However,this risk can be avoid by a lot of solusions,such as a contract between the workers and the company can be made to ensure the worker work in the company for certain year if they want to be trained by the company.So,improving the work skills of the worker is the important and essential step for a company.
39#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-6-19 23:05:37 | 只看该作者
TPO 3 综合

The reading passage offers three evidences that one painting thought to be Rembrandt's is not painted by him.However,the professor in the lecture convinces that the picture is indeed Rembrandit's.

First,the author in the reading says that the inconsistency of the clothes in the painting is one evidence that the paniting is not painted by Rembrandt.While,the professor explains that the dark fur collar is not original,it was added to the painting to improve its value one hundred years after the picture was painted.The original painting was consistent as Rembrandt's other paintings.

The second reason the reading provided is the light on the women's face.Then,the professor states that,the dark fur collar is not original on the painting,after the fur collar is removed,it can be seen that the women was wearing a bright clothes which can illuminated the face of the women by reflecting the sunlight.Thus,the light and shdow in this painting fit together.

In the end,the reading points out that the painting was glued together.On the contrary,the professor argues that,the part which were added to the painting was not the original wood that Rembrandt used to make the painting.After other parts was removed,people could find the painting was painted on only one wood.Furthermore,the professor says that another self-portrait of Rembrandt with a hat was made of wood from the same tree as the women's painting.Therefore,the painting was indeed painted by Rembrandt.
40#
发表于 2012-6-20 07:01:57 | 只看该作者
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees.

Nowadays,more and more companies becomes to focus on finding the best methods to improve their profits as well as cut costs.Gernerally speaking,so many ways can be used to obtain this goal.It may be benefitial for a company to spend money to update their equipments,to cultivitate its future labor forces in a university,or to improve the work skills of its employees.Everyone knows that a factory can not work without workers,even the advanced technologies today help some companies finish part of their work by robots.So,spending money to improve the work skills of its employees is the basic option for a company.

The main reason to improve the worker's skills is that it can improve the work efficiendy of the workers.Workers becomes familiar with the processes of their work,the way about how to do better and to save time after they are trained.Thus they shortcut the time they spend on their work.In the same amount of time compared to the day before,they can produce more products.Meanwhile,when they become familiar with the processes,they will make fewer mistakes than before.This also contributes to improve the work efficiency.Therefore,by improving worker's skills,the company can produce more products with high quality. 感觉这顿的句子有些琐碎 导致出现了好多they

Then,the company can make more profits by improving their worker's skills.As what states in the first paragraph,more products means more money for the comopany.At the same time,if the workers in the sale department are well enough to persuade their consumers to buy their products,these products will bring real money to the company.One improtant way to help the sale workers is to improve their work ing skills.Thus it is very important for a company to invest money on this.

After both the work efficiency and profits用improve不大恰当啊 are all improved,the company will develop more quickly.The company will have more money to invest on other things that can help it to develop faster and bigger和成一句话吧或者用不同的句式.Such as the company will have the ability to purchase more sophisticated machines to produce more precise products.And at the same time they may afford new technologies to produce new products which can make more profits for the company,and to compete with other companies in the same field.

Of course,one risk of improving the worker's skills is that they may jump the manager什么意思啊?跳槽? after they learn the skills and the company can not provide them with the salaries they need,or the promotion they demand.However,this risk can be avoid by a lot of solusions,such as a contract between the workers and the company can be made to ensure the worker work in the company for certain year if they want to be trained by the company.So,improving the work skills of the worker is the important and essential step for a company.

论点结构什么好的包子就不说了 说说缺点
句子有些简单了 变化不够多啊
倒数第二段是说提高员工及术后公司得到的好处吧 这段应该和前面两段恰当融合才好 单独成段 感觉有些重复的
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS



近期活动

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2024-11-28 22:54
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2023 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部