不以30分为目标的行为都是耍，流，氓！

jiaosisisisi

225是不是我们互相改呢。。。。

-- by 会员 jiaosisisisi (2012/2/26 9:32:42)

是呀是呀~~我225的作文题目在前几天写过啦~~music翻一下我前面的作文吧~~

-- by 会员 Serena0710 (2012/2/26 10:32:53)

我晚上之前会帮你revise的  改得不好轻拍砖额~~~~~

Serena0710

咆哮啊！！！坑得的模考软件，写到一半时间完了，然后我的作文就不见了！！！不见了！！！不见了。。。见了。。。见了。。。了。。。。

Serena0710

226综合

The reading passage examines the topic that people reading far less than used to. The professor’s speech is concerned with the same topic. However, she contends that reading less literature books does not meant the lower of level of culture in general, which is the opposite of what the reading passage asserts. And in the presentation, she offers plenty of evidence to buttress her idea.

First, even though the reading passage indicates that the most obvious decline happens in literature. The professor argues in the lecture that reading less literature does not reveal the fact that the public do not read any more and. This is because people choose to read books in the area of science, which is of high-quality and also can stimulate our imagination. Apparently, the professor's argument raises doubts about the relevant point in the reading.

Second, the statement in the reading show that reading other superficial, poorly written book will lower the level of culture in general. However, the professor states that people listen to brilliant music and excellent movies can also get benefits from culture. Then, she strengthens this point with the fact that nowadays, culture is changed and has a lot of forms.

Finally, the professor believes that it is the authors' fault while the reading passage claims that as the support from readers being less, good writers become less. The professor verifies that this claim is very weak by pointing out that literature written by writers years ago is more easily for the reader to read and understand while the writers' work today are too difficult for the public to understand.

To sum up, the professor precisely finds the flaws in the reading passage and compelling proves that people reading literature far less has negative effects on both the reader and writer in the future.

jiaosisisisi

2月25日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared with people who live in urban areas, the people who live in rural areas can take better care of their families.

蓝色 表示 看起来 有点问题的 + music自己的观点的
红色  表示  需要改得，但是我等级不够的，无法下爪的
橄榄色  晨依 说这个颜色太shi了 ，我就取消了~~~~



In China, there is an adage that says, “The poor man’ child shares the household chores,” the implication being (大胆猜测~~being 会不会有点wordy....the implication of which is 卖弄一下从句怎么样啊)that child who lives in rural areas has taken the responsibility to take care of the family since his or her childhood. As a result, people living in country indeed do a better job in looking after their family members than people living in cities. As far as I’m concerned, I support this statement for financial, emotional and educational reasons. （这样的组织，你是事先策划好的吧，ETS最喜欢你这个样子了，看起来简单明了~~~赞一个）


People grow up in the rural areas not only have the ability to use money （grow up 跟have 两个谓语动词，一个要做后置定语吧！改成growing！）in a more proper way to make their family live better, but also have learnt how to take care of youngsters since they are teenagers. In Chinese country,（countryside比较好些吧，country给人第一感觉总是国家！） a family usually has more than one child（加个逗号什么的会不会好点） even though the one-child politypolicyhas been implemented for years. （这个即使引导的从句，让人感觉农村特别无视王法。。。。。。虽然政策推行了很多年了但是农村完全无视之的意思！去掉会不会好些呢）Obviously, more children means heavier financial burden .Therefore,when parents are busy with（我们初中老师如果还在的话，他可能还会跟我讲busy with sth，busy doing sth，如果busy with doing sth的话会不会有点wordy） making money, elder children have to look after the baby ones, buy some daily necessities and cook meals for the family. And in this process, teenagers develop the customs to save every penny to sustain and for the kids’ schooling.

（ 我一直隐隐地觉得，这个题目会有两种理解，第一种理解是农村地区的人比城市的人更会照顾家人，一种理解是居住在农村更好照顾家人，而居住在城市relatively 没法那么好地照顾家人，啊！！！！！我跑题了啊啊啊啊啊啊！我居然理解成后者了啊啊啊啊啊啊
Aside from the financial burdens, emotional reason is equally important. In order to save electricity charge, people live in rural areas rarely watch TV for many hours. Consequently, they（拼写） family members have more time to communicate with each other and thus have a deeper affection. Additionally, because of more children limited resources, people are prone（拼写） to be considerate to others and forgive others’ faults. This kind of home deserves a harmonious environment. In city, however, because of the family plan, most kids do not know how to get on well with others even family members, nor do they know it after growing up.


And let’s not forget that education from different parents leads to the discrepancy. (我很喜欢这种非常local 的表达方式 )On the one hand, parents live in rural areas set themselves as examples to work hard to support the family. On the other hand, they always choose to make the children doing some or even all the household chores. Unlike the country parents, many city parents （会不会稍微chinglish了一下额~~~）spoil their children so much that the majority of the kids can’t do any housework, let alone take care of their family after getting married.（推荐名词marriage=getting married）


For these reasons, we can safely conclude that people living in poorer（   这个为了不重复把rural areas改成poorer areas，农村人会不会很无辜呢~~~） areas have more chance to cultivate the ability for life and foster a sense of responsibility than those living in a more comfortable environment.
（多么好的一个结尾。 我喜欢你的开头 与 结尾 ，一看就没有模板 ，一看就不是专业码字的，一看就是认真想很久写出来的文章，一看就是没计时的，一看就是写了超过一个小时的。。。一看就~~~~~~~~ok,作为码字的music，看完以后 哭了一场，决定以后好好写文章，尽量少模板了。。。。

jiaosisisisi

好吧，S女神， 我表示 我跑题了 。。。。。。
你的文章 写的 对着呢 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serena0710

好吧，S女神， 我表示 我跑题了 。。。。。。
你的文章 写的 对着呢 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- by 会员 jiaosisisisi (2012/2/27 0:15:34)

哈哈~~music，休整一天之后我精神充沛的回归了！！！
1. the implication being (大胆猜测~~being 会不会有点wordy....the implication of which is 卖弄一下从句怎么样啊)这句吧，其实我觉得很不错，而且是慎小嶷的范文上学来的。T上的语法，比较宽松。如果硬要用G的语法来改，就不那么丰富啦~~
2. 其他的地方都改的很好，我收下鸟~~~
3.一看就是没计时的，一看就是写了超过一个小时的。。。一看就~~~~~~~~本来前面看着自己被夸很享受的，后来发现，码字的music来声讨我了。。。嘿嘿，好吧~~今儿我尽量不超时！

byron777

226综合
红明显错误，青斟酌

The reading passage examines the topic that people reading far less than used to. The professor’s speech is concerned with the same topic. However, she contends that reading less literature books does not meant （mean）the lower of level of culture in general, which is the opposite of（to） what the reading passage asserts. And in the presentation（lecture是不更准确？elaborately use alternative words?）, she offers plenty of evidence to buttress her idea.

First, even though the reading passage indicates that the most obvious decline happens in literature. The(, the 前边even though引导的是让步状语，和后边的还是一句话) professor argues in the lecture that reading less literature does not reveal the fact that the public do not read any more（感觉有歧义，好像不读书是fact一样。。） and（这个是打错了吧）. This is because people choose to read books in the area of science, which is of high-quality and also can stimulate our imagination. Apparently, the professor's argument raises doubts about the relevant point in the reading.

Second, the statement in the reading show（s） that reading other superficial, poorly written book will lower the level of culture in general. However, the professor states that people listen to brilliant music and （watch）excellent movies can also get benefits from culture. Then, she strengthens this point with the fact that nowadays, culture is changed and has a lot of forms.
（记得是reading重点在imagination的下降，lower the level of culture 是原因）

Finally, the professor believes that it is the authors' fault while（when好点，while有然而的歧义） the reading passage claims that as the support from readers being less, good writers become less. The professor verifies that this claim is very weak by pointing out that literature written by writers years ago is more easily（easier） for the reader to read and understand while the writers' work today are too difficult for the public to understand.

To sum up, the professor precisely finds the flaws in the reading passage and compelling（ly） proves that people reading literature far less has（has far less） negative effects on both the reader and writer(the reader and the writer) in the future.

楼主语言功底很强呀，问题嘛。一个是第一段太长了，有头重脚轻的感觉，而且第一段没有涉及得分点。。第二是有否必要最后来一个to sum up，楼主可以斟酌下，因为ets的范文和无老师的满分写作范文都没有最后一段。另外，不知码这三百多字有没有超时，综合写到点子上，连接词和句式有所变化，二百来字就行了（这个是个人观点，综合写作要求是150-225，一般的范文也是220+—）。

第一次改综合，肯定很多不足，咱们共同探讨啊~

jiaosisisisi

226综合
红明显错误，青斟酌

The reading passage examines the topic that people reading far less than used to. The professor’s speech is concerned with the same topic. However, she contends that reading less literature books does not meant （mean）the lower of level of culture in general, which is the opposite of（to） what the reading passage asserts. And in the presentation（lecture是不更准确？elaborately use alternative words?）, she offers plenty of evidence to buttress her idea.

First, even though the reading passage indicates that the most obvious decline happens in literature. The(, the 前边even though引导的是让步状语，和后边的还是一句话) professor argues in the lecture that reading less literature does not reveal the fact that the public do not read any more（感觉有歧义，好像不读书是fact一样。。） and（这个是打错了吧）. This is because people choose to read books in the area of science, which is of high-quality and also can stimulate our imagination. Apparently, the professor's argument raises doubts about the relevant point in the reading.

Second, the statement in the reading show（s） that reading other superficial, poorly written book will lower the level of culture in general. However, the professor states that people listen to brilliant music and （watch）excellent movies can also get benefits from culture. Then, she strengthens this point with the fact that nowadays, culture is changed and has a lot of forms.
（记得是reading重点在imagination的下降，lower the level of culture 是原因）

Finally, the professor believes that it is the authors' fault while（when好点，while有然而的歧义） the reading passage claims that as the support from readers being less, good writers become less. The professor verifies that this claim is very weak by pointing out that literature written by writers years ago is more easily（easier） for the reader to read and understand while the writers' work today are too difficult for the public to understand.

To sum up, the professor precisely finds the flaws in the reading passage and compelling（ly） proves that people reading literature far less has（has far less） negative effects on both the reader and writer(the reader and the writer) in the future.

楼主语言功底很强呀，问题嘛。一个是第一段太长了，有头重脚轻的感觉，而且第一段没有涉及得分点。。第二是有否必要最后来一个to sum up，楼主可以斟酌下，因为ets的范文和无老师的满分写作范文都没有最后一段。另外，不知码这三百多字有没有超时，综合写到点子上，连接词和句式有所变化，二百来字就行了（这个是个人观点，综合写作要求是150-225，一般的范文也是220+—）。

第一次改综合，肯定很多不足，咱们共同探讨啊~

-- by 会员 byron777 (2012/2/28 22:27:35)

求教 什么是第一段没有涉及得分点  
and  什么是得分点。。。。

Serena0710

to Music ~~得分点应该就是听力材料里反驳reading passage的内容，我没听出来。。。。所以，就乱来了。。所以，就不得分了。。。

Serena0710

228综合

The reading passage examines the topic whether selling or buy fossils is a good thing. The professor's speech is concerned with the same topic. However, she contends that the benefits greatly outweigh the disadvantages brought by fossil trading, which is exactly the opposite og what the reading passage asserts. And in the presentation, she offers plenty of evidence to buttress her idea.

First, even though the reading passage indicates that the public will have no chance to see the fossils if fossils are sold to the private collectors instead of donating to the museums. The professor argues in the lecture that low level public schools and institutions have more chance to see the fossils because. This is because fossils are traded for purchase and displayed more than they used to.

Second, the statement in the reading that scientist will miss a lot of important discoveries about the evolution of life. Because it seems that researchers have less opportunities to do research on the fossils. However, the professor states that no fossils will be put value until they are confirmed by the experts. Then, she strengthens this idea by pointing out the fact that every fossil will be passed through experts and no one will be missed out because of the confirmation.

Finally, the professor believes that without the commercial collectors, many fossils will be undiscovered while the reading passage claims that commercial collectors will pose lots of damages on the fossils. The professor verifies that this claim is very weak by pointing out that finding more fossils is better than taking pains to locate them by the experts themselves.