晨依小超人的写作贴，欢迎拍砖！

晨依Jacqueline

谢谢蝴蝶渡海，我们学校停电了，用手机上的网，咱们晚上再聊啊。其实你看我给你提的一些错误在我自己的作文里面也有，其实互改就是一种学习的过程。我觉得你的建议都很不错，晚上回去我再改改。其实你不用羡慕我的，我水平也不高，只是过了四级而已，其他的都没考过。希望你能在小分队互改的过程中能找到一些技巧和方法，充实自己的文章，一起进步吧！加油了！

晨依Jacqueline

昨天的作文修改
【晨依修改稿】

As a proverb goes that a friend in need is a friend indeed, I prefer a friend that will help me when I am in needto the oneonly aims for having fun with me. To substantiate my standpoint, (大亮！Thx, prodliu~)three reasons are listed below.


Priorly, making friends is a process of absorbinggood characters and qualities from others. Life isjust likes a mirror, anda friend's behavior reflects what we lack and need ourselves. Thus, a friend who is willing to help us when we are in need is beneficial to our personal development because we can learn some experience and good characters from such a friend. For example, the friend I treasure most, Lucy, is always giving me advice and sparing no effort to solve my problems. And in fact, I've learned a lot from her intelligence. On the contrary, owning a friend who is reluctant to help you when you have troubles, or even blame on your fault is not worth treasuring.


In addition,choosing a real friend who will give a hand when a person is in dilemma is an accumulation of one's social resource. As we all know, a well-being interpersonal relationship plays an important role in making decisions nowadays. Under this circumstance, the definition of a true friend is not only a person who is at your companion but also who helps you to get rid ofdifficulties. From my own experience, once I needed money badly, my friend supported me a lot financially, and moreover, he helped me get my first job. I am very thankful for his help and I regard him as the best friend in my life.


Admittedly, some people argue that friendship should not be related to pursuing one's profit, especially in the modern society. They insist that sharing interest with friends is better than helping each other. Though there are many people chasing their own goals by making use of their closest friends, what I claim for is that choosing a friend does not mean only to get profits from a friend. Generally speaking, everyone has the responsibility to make friends in a sincere heart and it is more essential to choose a friend who is warm-hearted when others in need.


To conclude, a friend who is willing to help when we are in trouble is more welcome than someone who only has fun with us every day. Furthermore, we can enrich ourselves by learning good qualities from our friends and develop a better social resource. That is to say it is more important to choose friends that could help you when you are in dilemma than choose friends that could only share common interests with.

晨依Jacqueline

2月29日 独立写作 （逐渐缩短时间啦~~继续坚持哇唔~~！）
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.

No one would deny that an increasing number of problems have been solved with the rapid development of science and technology. Under this circumstances, some people hold the idea that the most essential problems in today's world will be solved in people's lifetime. However, I stand for the opposite side and three reasons are listed below to support my view.

To begin with, we have faith in solving different types of problems with the help of advanced science and technology. For example, the low efficiency in production used to be a troublesome problem to the manegement(management) of big factories. But thanks to the appearence (appearance) of steam power engine, which was invented by Watt, the first industry revolution was launched and led the Britain a fast developed country at that time. Later, the invention of electricity, has given people all over the world an easy access to brightness in the dark. Not only did the working efficiency largely improve, but people also constantly shocked by a series of great inventions, such as cellphones, microwaves, televisions and so on. Thus, abundant evidence proved that the improvement of science and technology may help us find solutions to important problems in predictable future.

What is more, the improvement of human beings' intelligence is of great significant in solving essential problems in modern society. As a better environment for growth provides higher intelligent people, we are sure to see the perspective outlook that one day some important problems would be solved. As we all know that with the joint effort of so many outstanding experts, our dream of flying to the sky has achieved. Moreover, rockects(rockets) and spaceships invented by excellent scientists made it possible for us to explore universe.

In addition, the modern world is full of quick changes and no one can hastily assert that a problem will spend people's whole life to work out. Limitless people's creativity is, amazingsmay happen every day. Tor instance, the discovery of gravity was by accident. And then, Newton developed the thoery(theory) on force, which eventually managed to solve a lot of problems in physics, astronomy, and even mathmatics(mathematics).

To draw a conclusion, we are living in a fast changing world and people are getting smarter and smarter. So we can foresee that the key problems which trouble people in today's world will be solved with the help of science and technology.

sherilynchi

No one would deny that an increasing number of problems have been solved with the rapid development of science and technology. Under this circumstances, some people hold the idea that the most essential problems in today's world will be solved in people's lifetime. However, I stand for the opposite side and three reasons are listed below to support my view.（额 opposite side?)

To begin with, we have faith in solving different types of problems with the help of advanced science and technology. For example, the low efficiency in production used to be a troublesome problem to the manegement(management) of big factories.But thanks to the appearence (appearance) of steam power engine, which was invented by Watt, the first industry revolution was launched and led the Britain a fast developed country at that time. Later, the invention of electricity, has given people all over the world an easy access to brightness in the dark. Not only did the working efficiency largely improve, but people also constantly shocked by a series of great inventions, such as cellphones, microwaves, televisions and so on. Thus, abundant evidence proved that the improvement of science and technology may help us find solutions to important problems in predictable future.

What is more, the improvement of human beings' intelligence is of great significant in solving essential problems in modern society. As a better environment for growth provides higher intelligent people, we are sure to see the perspective outlook that one day some important problems would be solved. As we all know that with the joint effort of so many outstanding experts, our dream of flying to the sky has achieved. Moreover, rockects(rockets) and spaceships invented by excellent scientists made it possible for us to explore universe. (例子不太贴切，解决困难和实现梦想是两码事）

这段没太明白。。是想说一切皆有可能咩？In addition, the modern world is full of quick changes and no one can hastily assert that a problem will spend people's whole life to work out. Limitless people's creativity is, amazingsmay happen every day. Tor instance, the discovery of gravity was by accident. And then, Newton developed the thoery(theory) on force, which eventually managed to solve a lot of problems in physics, astronomy, and even mathmatics(mathematics).

To draw a conclusion, we are living in a fast changing world and people are getting smarter and smarter. So we can foresee that the key problems which trouble people in today's world will be solved with the help of science and technology.
这位同学，我很稀罕你的文章，你的前几篇我都看了。。文风小清新，语言流畅，读起来不费力。我也就没一句一句的抠，我自己虽然考过GMAT，但语法什么的忘光了，你就放过我吧。但是，读完2.29这篇，我的最大感受是论点选的不好。第一个论点本身是OK的，但下面两个稍微牵强。论点选的不好，写起来就会很费力。站在你的论点，我觉得可以说说人类意识形态或者态度的变化（经济已经得到了长足的发展，人们越来越意识到社会、环境、发展平衡方面的问题，但是你又没点出你认为的most important problem是啥米，所以有点难办啊）或者可以说说人类越来越团结，团结就是力量blabla。。。。这些都是比较好写的
另外一个感受是例子运用的不贴切。。要举例子，可以。但是你为什么每个例子都一笔带过呢？我对例子的观点是，要么只写一个，前后对比都写清楚了，才能表现出从有困难到科技解决了这个困难的过程；要么就是排比句，但要求每个例子都一针见血。。在要求句式多变的同时，也应该考虑用怎样的表达方式，才能使这个例子跟主题靠的更近。这句：Not only did the working efficiency largely improve, but people also constantly shocked by a series of great inventions, such as cellphones, microwaves, televisions and so on. 不仅生产效率提高，人们也被一系列伟大的发明震惊。这个跟你的论点什么关系？为什么要加这一句？其实你想表达的是，许多伟大的发明接踵而来，解决了人们生活的困难，使人们大为震惊——这就是伟大科技的力量。。。所以，必须要换个表达。
最后，说说我自己的2.29的作业。这个题目与我前几天看的经济学人上的一篇文章不谋而合，题目就叫.there could be trouble ahead。是当前经济形势与1930年大萧条一些对比云云。所以当时做的摘抄就派上了用场。还有文章中举得数据，是我瞎编的。以前有看过，确切的记不清，数量级是差不多的，不会太离谱。

晨依Jacqueline

Thank you~Sherilyn
我在写作中举例子一直力不从心，而且前几天大家也给我指出来了我的例子和论点之见的逻辑性不是很强。
我想我应该多积累一些，毕竟每天只输出不输入翻来覆去都写的没有新意了。
谢谢你批改的那么认真，晨依会继续努力的！一起加油！！

晨依Jacqueline

3月1日 独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

As Bacon once said, "Knowledge is power". Education is paid increasing attention as a means of acquiring knowledge by a large number of people in the modern society. With the rapid development of civilization, I firmly belive that people are now having easier access to education and becoming better educated than in the past.

For the one thing, as a lot of favorable policies have been published, people who couldn't accept education can take the opportunity to contact with voluntary education. Our government now has attached significant importance to the construction of education system in small countries from remote areas like the nine-year voluntary education policy. Up to now, thousands of "Hope Primary School" have been founded in China and over ten thousand college students have made great contributions to raising the standard of education quality in villages. Furthermore, the policy which strongly support to higher education is also essential to making people obtain advanced education. There is a quantity of universities transforming into more complex universities, and they make full use of all sorts of resources by adjusting their schools and majors. For example, the university I am studying at used to be a teacher's university, but recent years it has the tendency to set some other majors as well as curriculums in order to achieve the aim of being a top university in China. Thus, we students are better educated because we have the priority to advanced teaching techniques and well-equipped public applications. It is so many policies that make people easier to become educated than in the past.

For the other thing, thanks to the skyrocketing development of modern technology and science, people are at their convenience of acquiring knowledge by computers linked by the Internet and new types of machines such as electronic dictionaries, calculators, walkmans and so on. In ancient time, people get to learn mathematics by calculating with abucus(abacus), which attributed to the low efficiency of learning, what is more, more mistakes would be made during the learning process. However, exact and accurate sequence are made in less than a second owing to a calculator, which is more smaller and portable than an abacus. Plus, a electronic dictionary, which has the function of explaining and pronouncing words, is of vital help to new English learners. It not only saves people's time of mastering new words and expressions, but also accelerate people's studying outcoming in education. Advanced technique used in learning, people living in modern society is more easier to become educated than in the past.

In one word, living in a so-called knowledge age, people are equipped with favorable policies and advanced technique to be easier to become educated than in the past.

晨依Jacqueline

晨依这个月定了China Daily的手机报，为了让自己的作文有话可说，晨依决定每天也来贴点好的例子~
就不开新的帖子啦，每天作为小分队的附加任务贴到这个帖子里面，天天总结，天天进步~~~

?————————————3月2日————————————?

*Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gearswe never use.
生活就像一辆十档变速自行车，我们有各种档位选择，很多人却忘了用。

* Youth prefercelebrity idols少年儿童偶像偏娱乐化
An increasing number of celebrities in the entertainment industry are beinghailedas idols by youth,according to a survey released onFebruary 29th by China Youth and Children Research Center. Nearly 70% of youth's idols are entertainment and sports stars.Latterateurs, artists, thinkers, heroes, politicians and militaryfigures eachmake upabout 3%. Scientists take up 2.3%, whilemodel workersonlyaccount for0.4%.

* Educationtops concerns 教育位居“两会”关注榜首Improving education is seen as the top priority among topics expected to be addressed at the "2 sessions" in China. According to a research, a random sampling of more than 1,000 respondents showed nearly 50% of people expect the sessions to focus more attention on how to modify the exam-oriented education system, which puts primary and middle school students under pressure. Most of them also question the unequal distribution of educational resources among urban and rural areas as well as higher education that failed to meet social demands.

* The cooperation is expected to drive China into an era of ……
此次（A&B）的合作（牵手）将推动中国进入（……）的时代

* A helpful hand is not always lent by heroes. In everyone's life, a man begins each day with a thankful heart just because an average man helps him in trivial things.助人为乐不在于惊天动地，日常生活的感激之情更来自于身边人、身边事。

晨依Jacqueline

3月2日 独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.

Taking a general look at the fast changing world, people in modern society have to face with a great deal of variations. However, among a large number of events taken place everyday, even every second, little of them have very close relation to ourselves. Thus, I hold the opinion that people don't have the necessary for knowing what is happening around the world if it does not have some influence on their daily life.

Above all, it is a waste of time for people caring much about things that are not related with themselves. From my point of view, few people are born to change the world with their concerns of other people, and in other words, we ordinary people are not strong enough to make a change to others' life. We feel sad when we heard the news that children in Africa died from hunger, but we are limitted(limited) in donating foods to save them; we are excited at the sports star-Jemery(Jeremy) Lin's performance in each game, but his shoot is of no help with our promotions; we are paying a close attention on Barack Obama's life on Twitter, but his behavior does not have any influence on our daily life. Hence, what makes sense for people to know the events which have little connections with them happening around the world instead of caring about their personal affairs?

Moreover, a concern for incidents which have little to do with people's own affairs may probably make nagetive(negative) effects to people. Let me show you an example. Suppose I were an office lady, once I heard about the news that my favorite star Whitney had died in a morning, I was prone to work in sadness all day. Had my careless working condition seen by my boss, I was likely to get fired. From that case we may draw a conclusion that caring for something unlikely have influence on ourselves is possibly leading to a chain action in our personal life, and what is worse we are then trapped in troubles.

To be honest, keeping in contact with some latest news makes us catch up with the modern society. Though we ought not to be people who are out of date, we don't need to get ourselves involved into all events happening around the world, especially the news that has nothing to do with our daily life. As fa as I am concerned, people had better read the newspaper selectively, acquiring the knowledge really makes sense to them and abandon some news which occupied too much time.

In the end, people are of no necessity to knowing what is taking place in the world because something irrelated may be a waste of time or bring about troubles in people's daily life.

晨依Jacqueline

3月3日 独立写作

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

As we are living in an exaggerately(exaggeratively) entertained time, no one would deny people are surrounded by a variaty(variety) of entertainment sush(such) as karaokes, movies, video games and so on. Though some people actually benefit from such entertainment, in my opinion, movies and television programs have more negative influence on the way young people behave for a few reasons.

To begin with, young people are likely to affected by their idols behaviors. With the popularity of movies and televion(television) programs, film stars and some actors are becoming more welcome by the young. An increasing number of celebrities in entertainment industry are being hailed as idols by youth, according to a recent research from China Youth and Children Center. From the research we can see celebrities, especially actors and actress in movies an soap opreas(operas), are ranking first and far beyond worker models, heroes and artists. That is to say, those stars from movies or televions(television) have a strong instruction to the way young people behave. However, it is known to all that there are lots of crimes, affairs, as well as drug addiction in the entertainment industry, which is detrimental to the growth of young people.

Additionally, movies and television are often fictional, which demand exaggerating the story or adding some imaginary details during the process of production to make it more entertaining to audience. As a matter of fact, children are too young to justify whether the story showed on the big screen in the theater is true. For example, the character of Superman is unreal, because there does not exist a man flying everywhere to help people get rid of trouble. But children may have the tendency to imitate the Superman's behavior without questioning if he really has the ability of flying here and there. To some degree, young people are often misled to acquiring knowledge from many fictional stories or scientific movies.

What we could not neglect is that television programs like Discovery or Animal World are of significance in teaching young people, and what is more inspiring their adventure spirits. But to appeal more attention, producers and directors are prone to make movies or television programme funny and interesting by modifying details of the scripts, ignoring the harmful effects which may affect the way young people behave. In fact, no related policy has been published by our country to make a restriction to entertainment industry.

In conclusion, in spite of the amusement movies and television have brought to people, they have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

晨依Jacqueline

3月4日 独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should take similar jobs with parents.


As parents are children's best teachers, children are easily affected by their what their parents do when growing up. To some extent, a few people hold the idea that children should take similar jobs with their parents. Though parents may instruct their children to have a better development based on their abundant working experience, I still argue for children choosing their own career in their future, not following their parents' jobs.



First and foremost, we are now living in an era which is sharply different from the time our parents live in, and thus the prospect and condition of jobs could not be considered the same with their parents'. My father, who owns a diploma of graduation from high school, entered Industrial and Commercial Bank of China at the age of twenty and now he has been promoted as a manager of that bank. However, taking a general look at the requirement of employers, it might be difficult for an undergraduate majored in Finance to work in a bank as a primary officer. That is to say, I have to struggle against too many excellent students for the same job as my parents' under the totally different circumstance. So I don't think it sensible for children to take similar jobs with parents.



In the second place, children should choose job on their interests and persue their own future career without the influence of their parents. In my opinion, every person has equal rights to chase his dream, even it is hard to realize. To tell the truth, I was forced to major in finance by my parents when I entered college because finance was expected to bring extremely high salaries in the future. But I am always dreaming of becoming a teacher sharing knowledge with others, and that won criticize from my parents. With a resistance to finance, I got very low scores in my academic performance and it further proved that I was not suitable to take the similar jobs with my parents.



Some people argue that taking a job which is similar to parents is an readily way to have further development in the future, for they are familiar with the information of that job and may have priority to a better social relationship of that field. But to take similar jobs with parents, from my point of view, is detrimental to children's independence. For children are benefited from their parents work, they are prone to decrease the ability of making decisions and solving problems on their own.

In sum, though there exists convenience for children taking similar jobs with their parents, negative effects overweigh the positive effects. Children should make a sensible decision when choosing their jobs.