TWE 184, 请大家帮忙修改修改！

violetsapphire

184. Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which so you prefer?

   

As students, we always face the circumstances: study alone or study with a group of students. Someone hold the opinion that the former one is superior to the latter one. Other, however, contradict individual studies. Whereas, according to my personality and fondness, I would prefer to study with a group of students while rejecting anther alternative. In the following discuss, I will elaborate my viewpoints.

It firstly comes to the fact that studying with a group of students could improve my efficiency. At present, clue to study alone, I have to spend lots of times working on some difficult problems of assignments by myself, moreover, these problems even could not figured out after my own endeavors. This wastes me a great number of times, therefore making me very disappointed and frustrated. To offer a solution, I should study with a group of students. Other students could offer me the better and simpler ways to the hard problems in a very short time. Then I would be able to use the saved time to other purposes. Obviously, it is a desirable choice for me the study with a group of students.

Another head and chief reason is I could gain others’ manners of thinking. Compared to my individual studies, which restrict me only within narrow limits of thinking about questions, studying with a group of students, nevertheless, enables me to obtain others’ various ways of thinking to the same questions when we are discussing, thus making me consider solutions to questions circumspectly in the future. Accordingly I welcome the way of studying with a group of students.

It should be admitted that studying alone provides me a quiet environment to concentrating one on my works easily. However, we could enjoy greater teamwork spirits through studying with a group of students. For instance, studying with others enable us to work together and help one another, thereby greatly promoting my interpersonal skills and teamwork orientation. After considering the benefits brought by these two ways of studying, studying with others is more significant to futures. Accordingly as for me, I choice study with groups.

In conclusion, based on three reasons I presented above, studying with other students        brings me more advantages than studying alone. Therefore I prefer to study with a group of students.

       谢谢大家的意见，看看有没有希望上5分？

soaring

以下是引用violetsapphire在2005-2-23 12:48:00的发言：

184. Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which so you prefer?

   

As students, we always face the circumstances: study alone or study with a group of students. Someone hold the opinion that the former one is superior to the latter one. Others, however, contradict individual studies. Whereas, according to my personality and fondness, I would prefer to study with a group of students while rejecting anther alternative. In the following discuss, I will elaborate my viewpoints.

It firstly comes to the fact that studying with a group of students could improve my efficiency. At present, clue to study alone, I have to spend lots of times (time)working on some difficult problems of assignments by myself, moreover, these problems even could not figured out after my own endeavors. This wastes me a great number of times(a lot of time), therefore making me very disappointed and frustrated. To offer a solution, I should study with a group of students. Other students could offer me the better and simpler ways to the hard problems in a very short time. Then I would be able to use the saved time to other purposes. Obviously, it is a desirable choice for me the study with a group of students.

Another head and chief reason is I could gain others’ manners of thinking. Compared to my individual studies, which restrict me only within narrow limits of thinking about questions, studying with a group of students, nevertheless, enables me to obtain others’ various ways of thinking to the same questions when we are discussing, thus making me consider solutions to questions circumspectly in the future. Accordingly I welcome the way of studying with a group of students.

It should be admitted that studying alone provides me a quiet environment to concentrating one on my works easily. However, we could enjoy greater teamwork spirits through studying with a group of students. For instance, studying with others enable us to work together and help one another, thereby greatly promoting my interpersonal skills and teamwork orientation. After considering the benefits brought by these two ways of studying, studying with others is more significant to futures. Accordingly as for me, I choice study with groups.

In conclusion, based on three reasons I presented above, studying with other students        brings me more advantages than studying alone. Therefore I prefer to study with a group of students.

       谢谢大家的意见，看看有没有希望上5分？

it is good. the structrue is ok.

the beginning and last sentences of each para. is great!

but if you want to get a 5, you need to improve your language.

4.5 for this passage, in my opinion.

violetsapphire

谢谢mm的意见，我会继续努力的！

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-3-1 13:26:31编辑过]

soaring

以下是引用violetsapphire在2005-2-25 6:35:00的发言：
谢谢您的意见，我会继续努力的！

代词错误。。。

brace

也没错啊。。。

violetsapphire

我刚刚看见你说：“代词错误”，第一下还没反应过来，现在才回过神来，谢谢ppmm的意见！

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-3-1 13:27:07编辑过]

hncsxj

谢谢伊的修改

soaring

不至于哦

楼主乖乖念书去。。。