TWE20 小试 求助 看看能不能4分 卡时间的

yuxinwugood

20 It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

On the question of whether children should grow in a big city or the countryside, different people have different opinions based on their own personality and personal experience. Some people who think a big city can bring children a lot of benefits for their growth believe that there is no doubt that children should be in a big city. Others, On the contrary, who hold the opposite opinion, believe that the countryside is a better place for children’s growth than a big city. As far as I am concerned, I support the view that a big city is a superior place than a small town for children. And my reasons are listed as below.

To begin with, a big city can create good opportunities for children to get excellent education. Comparing with the countryside, there are more experienced teachers and advanced equipments in a big city which are very important for children’s study. For example, students in a big city can learn a foreign language from a teacher who is native to that language. On the other hand, the students who are living in the countryside can just be taught by a teacher who has limited knowledge to that language.

Another merit for children who are living in a big city is that there are many wonderful places for them to relax. Only in a big city can you see many beautiful parks, famous theaters and gyms. In their spare time, if the children feel tired of study or feel bored to their life, they will have many choices for them to relax. For example, going to a theater with their parents is a meaningful and helpful thing. However, those children who are living in the countryside do not have chances to do such thing.

Furthermore, living in a big city can broaden the knowledge of children. Because there are so many actions hold in a big city and advanced technologies which children can contact that the children living in a big city have more knowledge and confidence in the future. And they are more competitive than others such as those from the countryside in their later works.

In summary, living in a big city carries more weight than living in the countryside for children’s growth. So I will support that children should grow in a big city if they have such a chance.

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以下是引用yuxinwugood在2005-2-5 4:25:00的发言：

20 It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

On the question of whether children should grow in a big city or the countryside, different people have different opinions based on their own personality and personal experience. Some people who think a big city can bring children a lot of benefits for their growth believe that there is no doubt that children should be in a big city. Others, On the contrary, who hold the opposite opinion, believe that the countryside is a better place for children’s growth than a big city. As far as I am concerned, I support the view that a big city is a superior place than a small town for children. And my reasons are listed as below.

To begin with, a big city can create good opportunities for children to get excellent education. Comparing with the countryside, there are more experienced teachers and advanced equipments in a big city which are very important for children’s study. For example, students in a big city can learn a foreign language from a teacher who is native to that language. On the other hand, the students who are living in the countryside can just be taught by a teacher who has limited knowledge to that language.

Another merit for children who are living in a big city is that there are many wonderful places for them to relax. Only in a big city can you see many beautiful parks, famous theaters and gyms. In their spare time, if the children feel tired of study or feel bored to their life, they will have many choices for them to relax. For example, going to a theater with their parents is a meaningful and helpful thing. However, those children who are living in the countryside do not have chances to do such thing.

Furthermore, living in a big city can broaden the knowledge of children. Because there are so many actions hold in a big city and advanced technologies which children can contact that the children living in a big city have more knowledge and confidence in the future. And they are more competitive than others such as those from the countryside in their later works.

In summary, living in a big city carries more weight than living in the countryside for children’s growth. So I will support that children should grow in a big city if they have such a chance.

I think it is a 4 score article.

melodybb1224

不会啊，我觉得4。5分以上应该没有问题的~

likui

逵逵最喜欢看结构，一看结构就够爽，5分！

require

I think pretty good,理由很充分.

superZAP

如果能写这样的作文才要求4分，那我可怎么去考作文呀！ 明天就要上阵了

Irene_yang

这里的考官比较严嘛，但这样子对大家还是比较好啦！对不对？～～

yuxinwugood

谢谢大家的鼓励，这是我老婆要求我写的格式，可是我觉得有点呆板，我老婆说考t就应该写这样的作文，我心里也没底，也不知道该死的ets是什么样评分标准。不过 我个人认为要是你不是很牛的话， 想短期内做到snow_mountain那样的要求很难。

fbfamous

On the question of whether children should grow in a big city or in the countryside。我觉得还是有in好点吧？

Comparing with the countryside, there are more experienced teachers and advanced equipments in a big city which are very important for children’s study. 不知道楼主怎么看这个问题？GMAT语法中这个是不对的。最好还是把a big city拿到前面来吧？

who is native to that language是不是who is a native speaker呢？我觉得在简练的基础上加字是应该的。但是简练还是第一位吧？

On the other hand, the students who are living in the countryside 用live就好了吧？为什么是现在时态呢？或者直接分词好了the students living in 。。。。

其他的没太仔细看。

不过真的是结构和内容都不错。4.5以上肯定是问题不大。不过再高我就不知道了。但是我觉得楼主上5.5应该没什么问题的。有一点点的建议：

1，句式我总觉得还是单调了点。我注意到你最常用的是定语从句。甚至比简单句还多（呵呵，好强！）不过还是建议多点选择：虚拟，倒装啥的，哦，还有定语分词和非谓语从句。这些都很常用的。TOEFL用用也挺好的其实。

2，楼主好象跟我以前有一样的问题。就是有些说法上稍微罗嗦了一点点，不过也许在TOEFL中问题不大。

3，楼主的摸班其实还可以改进一下的嘛（我觉得你的像摸班句而不是摸班段，所以有一点点不够smooth吧？）

总的来说，文章的结构，内容和语法是你的优势。另外对我来说，你的速度也是优势，呵呵，我可写不了这么快。

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-2-8 3:47:34编辑过]

po_po72

这个文章绝对不止4。5分      我觉得会是5.5分 然后总分扣几分的那种

很多东西看着很简单  真的做起来的时候  就发现完全是另外一回事了

我就想不到这么好的对理由的解释