daisy的写作楼

daisy333

818修改

As more and more people have to breathe polluted air or bear extreme weather condition, environmental deterioration has drawn an increasing number of people's attention and worries. Advertisements concerned about environmental protection have emerged on TV or publicity board. Although negative voice says people's awareness won't change the present environment situation, other people, including me, held the belief that as more and more people recognize environmental crisis, environment situation will definitely change. 

Firstly, awareness decides behaviors. Once people learn about present unpleasant environmental situation, they will do some subtle but meaningful things, such as stopping running water and keeping air conditioner off as far as possible, to ameliorate our environmental condition. Take my father as an example. After he watched a documentary about global warming, he would never turn on air conditioner under 35 celsius and also forbid me to do that. And every little changes do make differences for our environment.

What is more important is that a lot of people knowing about our environmental situation will urge government to make regulations for environmental protection. As a responsible government, meeting most of citizens’ interests is a primary duty. In my hometown, there was a factory producing paper, thus pouring a lot of polluted water into our mother river. When citizens recognized that the river was too contaminated to maintain daily need, they pushed the government to shut down the paper-producing factory. And once after the factory was shut down, the condition of the river started to become better. So, people's awareness pushes government to make a change, thus changing the environmental situation.

Last but not the least, the process of improving environmental condition caused by people's awareness is not fast, but time is the best cure. We should be patient and faithful to believe changes do happen and the future environment will be better. In 19th century, United Kingdom suffered from serious environmental problem- smog and haze. However, after decades, in present UK, blue and clear sky shows every day. People's awareness and government's regulation undoubtedly are main reasons for this great environmental improvement. Changes just take time.

Owing to all reasons mentioned above, we can safely make a conclusion that people's awareness concerned about present environmental situation will make the environmental condition better in the future. What we need is more patience and faith.


Awareness是不可数名词
More and more people = an increasing number of people
单复数形式要注意 词性要注意
当从句主语与主句一样时，才能省略主语用ing形式
Regulation for 后加名词结构
句式单一

daisy333

819如果你的朋友在某门课需要帮忙，而你是这门课的牛人。问你认为你朋友找你帮忙好还是找专门的tutor帮忙比较好？

Somebody say people born with unfairness - genetically. Admittedly, under the same circumstance, few people seem instinctively more proficient than others in specific field. But in most of time, that is just because everyone has edge on different subject. And we can make use of it, like a old saying goes, by learning from others’merits to complement our disadvantages. So I think when my friend need some help on some specific subject that I am good at, my friend can ask for my help instead of finding other specialized tutor.

Firstly, as friends, we know about each other deeply and can understand each other easier. Compared to a specialized tutor, I am more familiar with my friend. I know which class he or she may drop and why he or she confused about the lecture. I also aware of how he or she can understand a problem easily. Last semester, my roommate and best friend were so busy for her part time job that she could not manage her accounting class very well. When facing the final exam, she felt anxious and worried a lot. After I recognized her problem, I gave her my notes and made a exclusive plan for her exam preparation. Every time she had a question, I could crack it for her quickly. Luckily, she got a good grade for her final exam and she told me that she really learned a lot during the final preparation. If it not me, she might have to waste some time, communicating with a tutor and trying to explain why she did not understand that easy question.

The second benefit is that friends always hang out together, so we need not to make a reservation in advance. A call or a short message can settle all things down. Moreover, generally, I don’t mind to change my schedule for my friend. However, when it comes to tutor, it is a different story. A friend of mine who major in biology is studying in American. Unfortunately, he did not get used to the new environment at the first beginning and he did not do very well on his biochemical class. He tried to contact a tutor of this class, but it was too hard to pick a day that available for both of them. Things turned out that he could not finally communicate with his tutor face to face until the day before the final exam. With no doubt, he had a tough semester without help from friend.

What is most important is that if I am good at a specific subject, helping my friend out would be a wonderful thing that not only do my friend a favor but also make myself a sense of accomplishment, thus improving our friendship. Although I can’t receive salary like a tutor, helping my friend out give me more than some financial return. I feel like I am a valuable person who are useful to my friend. Since I have knew my roommate got a good grade, I went out dinner with my roommate to celebrate it. We all knew that during these time, our relationship becomes more close.

Owing to all benefits I have mentioned above, it is naturally to make a conclusion that when my friend meet some trouble on a specific subject that I am good at, asking for my help instead of find another specialized tutor is a more wiser choice for he or she.

橙圆

么么哒~进步大大的~

daisy333

橙圆 发表于 2014-8-21 15:05
么么哒~进步大大的~

谢谢勤劳的橙子！没你这么细心的改 我也不会有进步啦

daisy333

820 如果每年上课11个月以上，学生会得到更有效的教育


There is a widespread discussion about how long students should be attended to school. Some voices held the view that if students were required to attend school for more than eleven months a year, they would get better education. However, other people, including me, argue that long school time would not improve the educational quality for sure for several reasons.

Firstly, schools are not the only place that students can study. Students need more time to spend outside the school and traditional classes. Outside the school, students can attend to other public groups where people with same interests gather to gain knowledge and even valuable experiences. A classmate of mine attended a group that aimed to organize volunteer from all over the world to help homeless children in Africa. As a volunteer, my classmate brought homeless children some necessaries and books, taught the children Chinese lesson and made lots of friends who were also volunteers from all over the world. During the whole process, he not only learned how to be a good teacher, but also grab the skill to communicate with people from different backgrounds and countries. All these skills are not involved in the school classes. If we have to go to school 11 months a year, then we could not have enough extra time to do something that more practical. Learning only from school are not good for student to develop varies aspects abilities.

Moreover, long time lasting education does not mean high quality education. On the contrary, too many school days may discourage students, thus reducing their interest of studying. As we all know, the quality of education in the United States is pretty high, and students from all over the world came to US to pursue higher quality educational. But the duration of US education is short in some extent. In the US, the master degree of accounting generally takes only one year, however, in China, it requires two to three years. Too long school days make students protracted and inefficient. Students usually can’t help but thinking there are much time wait for them. Take myself as an example, I am always work more efficient when I have limited time.

Owing to all the reasons I have mentioned above, it is safe to make a conclusion that 11 months or more school days would not improve the educational quality, not to mention let students obtain more efficient education.

这两天见高中同学玩断片了。。。
写得好不走心。。。

橙圆

么么哒 不知道你已经写啦 我还在恍惚 神游 跪求原谅

daisy333

橙圆 发表于 2014-8-24 14:04
么么哒 不知道你已经写啦 我还在恍惚 神游 跪求原谅

感谢！！我今天才彻底回到正轨 过几天就考试了TAT

daisy333

820 修改
There is a widespread discussion about how long students should attend to school. Some voices held the view that if students were required to attend school for more than eleven months a year, they would get better education. However, other people, including me, argue that long school time would not improve the educational quality for sure for several reasons.

Firstly, schools are not the only place that students can study. Students need more time to spend outside the school and traditional classes （橙子你说这里词性不同不能并列，但我这里原意是并列school和classes可以吗？). Outside the school, students can attend to other public groups where people with same interests gather to gain knowledge and even valuable experience. A classmate of mine attended a group that aimed to organize volunteer from all over the world to help homeless children in Africa. As a volunteer, my classmate brought homeless children some necessaries and books, taught the children Chinese lesson and made lots of friends who were also volunteers from all over the world. During the whole process, he not only learned how to be a good teacher, but also (grabbed) the skill to communicate with people from different backgrounds and countries. All these skills are not involved in the school classes. If we have to go to school 11 months a year, then we could not have enough extra time to do something that is more practical. Learning only from school (is) not good for student to develop various aspects abilities.

Moreover, long time lasting education does not mean high quality education. On the contrary, long school days may discourage students, thus reducing their interest of studying. As we all know, High education quality in the United States attracts students from all over the world to come for higher quality education But the duration of US education is short to some extent. In the US, the master degree of accounting generally takes only one year, however, in China, it requires two to three years. Long school days make students protracted and inefficient. Students usually can’t help thinking there is much time wait for them. Take myself as an example, I am always work more efficient when I have limited time.

Owing to all the reasons I have mentioned above, it is safe to make a conclusion that 11 months or more school days would not improve the educational quality, not to mention let students obtain more efficient education.


Experience不可数！！！
To some extent
只有cannot help but do（只能做...）和cannot help doing（情不自禁做...）
没有cannot help but doing的用法
Protracted拖延的

daisy333

9.1 独立 you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has.

There is a saying goes,you can never judge a book by its cover and you can't judge a person by his or her appeal. But I really held the belief that through the types of friends of a person, you can somehow tell what kind of person this man is.

Generally, people with common interests will naturally get together and become friends. It is no doubt that only when two people has the same interest, can they have a pleasure conversation. Or embarrassing situation will happen. When I first came to my university, I was terrified because I did not familiar with anyone in this university. And I could not have pleasure and easy conversation with my roommates --- they did not fond of outside door activities at all, but I was a big fan of traveling. After I joined in a traveling club and bicycle club, I felt like I came home. I could easily talk to anyone in the club for hours without noticing time went by. So if a person, like me, has a group of friend who are crazy about traveling, we can easily presume that this guy is also favor of traveling.

Moreover, friends share the same values. A kind person can not bear a friend who are selfish and mean. If this two kind of people come together, a intense fight and a break up are unavoidable. My father told me that when he was young, he had a roommate who showed little respect for their teachers. He could not help keeping distance with this roommate. Because in my father's eyes, teachers are the most gracious people and deserved to be respected. Friends are like mirrors reflecting the person who you are.


What is the most important is that almost everybody in this world will be influenced by the people around him or her. "People around you can change the person who you are" is definitely a truth. I know it because I am a person who are changed by my friends. In junior school, I was afriad to talk to other people, including classmates and teachers. Like sunshine in my life, two friends of mine hold my hands and helped me defeat my fear of talking to people. Until now, I still feeling appreciated that my friends changed my characteristic. Hence, people who hang out together are familiar in some way.


By and large, we can not judge a person through the types of friend this person has, but owing to the reasons I mentioned above, I do think we can know more about a person by understanding his or her friends.

angla

There is a saying goes,you can never judge a book by its cover and you can't judge a person by his or her appeal. But I really held the belief that through the types of friends of a person, you can somehow tell what kind of person this man is.（前面指代用的his or her，这里用this man，表达不太平行，不好意思，可能有点GMAT思维，是不是this man省略了语法也是正确的啊）

Generally, people with common interests will naturally get together and become friends. It is no doubt that only when two people has the same interest, can they have a pleasure conversation. （华丽的倒装句，赞一下）Or （or作为否则的意思来用，是不是也不如otherwise更准确无歧义呢？）embarrassing situation will happen. When I first came to my university, I was terrified because I did not familiar with anyone in this university. And I could not have pleasure and easy conversation with my roommates --- they did not fond of （语法有误，fond是形容词，be fond of）outside door activities at all, but I was a big fan of traveling. After I joined in a traveling club and bicycle club, I felt like I came（come用词不当。表达像回家的感觉一样一般都是like going home。I feel like i do这句式也有点奇怪，供参考） home. I could easily talk to anyone in the club for hours without noticing time went by. So if a person, like me, has a group of friend （+s）who are crazy about traveling, we can easily presume that this guy is also favor of traveling.
（表达了朋友有共同爱好，生动描述了自己的喜好，但事例在用于说明好朋友都会有共同的interest的观点上稍显薄弱）

Moreover, friends share the same values.（这句的动词share用的很精彩） A kind person can not bear a friend who are （is）selfish and mean. If this two kind （有歧义）of people come together, a intense fight and a break up are unavoidable.（华丽的形容词，赞） My father told me that when he was young, he had a roommate who showed little respect for their teachers. He could not help keeping distance with this roommate. Because in my father's eyes, teachers are the most gracious people and deserved to be respected. （这里如果再点题，father远离他是因为value不同，不能成为朋友，就更好了）Friends are like mirrors reflecting the person who you are.（优美的句子，赞）


What is the most important is that almost everybody in this world will be influenced by the people around him or her. "People around you can change the person who you are" is definitely a truth. I know it because（句式不好） I am a person who are changed by my friends. In junior school, I was afriad to talk to other people, including classmates and teachers. Like sunshine in my life, （状语前置，优美高级的句式）two friends of mine hold my hands and helped me defeat my fear of talking to people. Until now, I still feeling （现在时漏be）appreciated that my friends changed my characteristic. （句子逻辑不太对。Appreciate的对象你的句子是感谢朋友改变你的性格这件事。但如果改为appreciated my friend who changed my character。就是感谢朋友这个人，然后这个人做了什么。后者逻辑更好）Hence, people who hang out together are familiar in some way.


By and large, we can not judge a person through the types of friend this person has, but owing to the reasons I mentioned above, I do think we can know more about a person by understanding his or her friends.