雪耻双23作文贴！—— 贾少女马甲重新开贴。

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726 独立 这篇用时一个小时了快，泪奔
Perhaps no issue is talked as commonly as success throughout the world. As people’s living quality has become better and better, topic upon if people nowadays care more about public recognition than about money has triggered an intense discussion. In my point of view, both the public recognition and money are crucial to one’s career. Nevertheless, after taking all the elements into consideration, I totally agree that even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder.

First and foremost, respect from others is more important than money to the young generation in the modern society. As we are in a time of peace, most of us can afford ample clothing and food. Although a rags-to-riches story facilitated plenty of young people to struggle to earn a living in the past days, now those kind of rich appears to be less attractive any more. Actually, what they value more is a sense of belonging to the society, where they can be recognized, respect and valued by the general public. For instance, my brother Tom works in an investment banks in Wall Street. He is such a workaholic that works overtime almost every day and hardly has any free moment. Whenever I asked him what attracts him to expose himself under such an intense pressure, was it due to the high salary there? He said the Wall Street afforded him the sense of fulfillment, which he enjoyed most instead of money. Therefore, public recognition can encourage people work harder.

Furthermore, young people’s awareness of upward mobility has been raised nowadays. That is to say, the young generation tends to enter the upper class by their own efforts. The feeling of achievement is better than gaining money directly instead. Just take the president Bill Clinton as an example. Clinton was born in a single family and was grown up in Arkansas whose economic condition was not so stable all the time. As an ordinary person Clinton has a longing for others recognition. It is the upward mobility that facilitates Clinton to work hard. In this case, money itself seems to be so vulnerable compared with the public recognition.

In addition, public recognition brings us self-esteem, which motivates young people to devote themselves to jobs. Imagine when you finally overcome a difficulty in job, the praise from your boss and the recognition from your colleagues are more valuable than your salary since those prove that you have the competitive edge over others. What’s more, this sense of achievement recognized by the public will encourage you to work harder. Therefore, even if no more money is given, still the young generation is willing to work harder in order to embrace to the sense of achievement created the surround.

After ruminating all the factors, respect from the public, awareness of upward mobility and self-esteem brought by the public are all compelling justification for the public’s recognition. As a member of the young generation, it’s high time that we work harder for ourselves instead of money itself.

lynettelyq

Perhaps no issue is talked as commonly as success throughout the world. As people’s living quality has become better and better, topic upon if people nowadays care more about public recognition than about money has triggered an intense discussion. In my point of view, both the public recognition and money are crucial to one’s career. Nevertheless, after taking all the elements into consideration, I totally agree that even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. （我觉得你第一段模板好赞，可以有这么长，默默的学习啦）

First and foremost, respect from others is more important than money to the young generation in the modern society. As we are in a time of peace, most of us can afford ample clothing and food. Although a rags-to-riches story facilitated plenty of young people to struggle to earn a living in the past days, now those kind of rich appears to be less attractive any more. Actually, what they value more is a sense of belonging to the society, where they can be recognized, respect（respected？） and valued by the general public. For instance, my brother Tom works in an investment banks（bank） in Wall Street. He is such a workaholic that works overtime almost every day and hardly has any free moment. Whenever I asked him what attracts him to expose himself under such an intense pressure, was it due to the high salary there? He said the Wall Street afforded him the sense of fulfillment, which he enjoyed most instead of money（instead of money这句语法有没有问题呀，我不太确定）. Therefore, public recognition can encourage people work harder.

Furthermore, young people’s awareness of upward mobility（这句话学习了！） has been raised nowadays. That is to say, the young generation tends to enter the upper class by their own efforts. The feeling of achievement is better than gaining money directly instead. Just take the president Bill Clinton as an example. Clinton was born in a single family and was grown up in Arkansas whose economic condition was not so stable all the time. As an ordinary person Clinton has a longing for others recognition. It is the upward mobility that facilitates Clinton to work hard. In this case, money itself seems to be so vulnerable compared with the public recognition.

In addition, public recognition brings us self-esteem, which motivates young people to devote themselves to jobs. Imagine when you finally overcome a difficulty in job, the praise from your boss and the recognition from your colleagues are more valuable than your salary since those prove that you have the competitive edge over others. What’s more, this sense of achievement recognized by the public will encourage you to work harder. Therefore, even if no more money is given, still the young generation is willing to work harder in order to embrace to （是不是不要to？）the sense of achievement created the surround.

After ruminating all the factors, respect from the public, awareness of upward mobility and self-esteem brought by the public are all compelling justification for the public’s recognition. As a member of the young generation, it’s high time that we work harder for ourselves instead of money itself.

资深少女_贾贾

727 独立：

Perhaps no issue is talked as commonly asglobalization by people throughout the world. With the development of logisticsand information transformation, people nowadays can easily purchase productsmanufactured around the world. Topics concerning whether we should buy domesticgoods or cheaper foreign goods has triggered an intense discussion. In my pointof view, both of these two options have their own merits and demerits.Nevertheless, after taking all the elements into consideration, I assert that weshould treat those products equally whatever where they were manufactured.

First and foremost, comparison betweendomestic and foreign goods can help improve the overall quality of products. Ifthe customers insist on domestic goods regardless of the price and quality, domesticcompany would gradually fall behind other foreign companies since they do nothave to bear the risk of losing customers and decreasing sales. Just like a kidwould become lazy if the family spoils him. As it describes in the economictheory that a fair competitive market would boost the economy most, acomparison between products can help find out the weakness of design andquality and strengthen it accordingly. Therefore, an advocate of purchasingdomestic goods blindly is not a wise choice.

In addition, it is hard to tell which kindof products belongs to domestic goods. As the world tend to become a globalvillage nowadays, a large amount of international companies spring up.Commonly, different parts would be manufactured all the around the world and endup with assembling in the final country. It also explains why internationalcompanies always maintain a relatively low price as well as an above-averagequality. Consequently, even if you purchase foreign goods, some raw material orparticular parts may also be produced domestically. Supposing we boycottforeign good, the domestic economy would be hurt in term of tax and so on. Thusin support of some cheap and nice foreign goods may protect the country’sexportation as well.

Admittedly, insisting on domestic goods belongsto a kind of patriotism because the purpose of such behavior is to increase domesticsales and stimulate economy. However, this patriotism appears to benarrow-minded without accepting other competitors. The true patriotism is tofind a way to improve quality and control cost in order to establish acompetitive edge over other foreign goods.

After ruminating all the factors intoconsideration, improvement of overall quality and possible promotion ofdomestic economy all are compelling justifications in support of my argument.In order to express our patriotism in a right way and truly benefit domesticcompanies, it’s high time that we should treat all products equally whateverwhere they produced.

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lynettelyq 发表于 2014-7-27 15:47
Perhaps no issue is talked as commonly as success throughout the world. As people’s living quality  ...

修改讨论稿：
Perhaps no issue is talked as commonly as success throughout the world. As people’s living quality has become better and better, topic upon if people nowadays care more about public recognition than about money has triggered an intense discussion. In my point of view, both the public recognition and money are crucial to one’s career. Nevertheless, after taking all the elements into consideration, I totally agree that even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. （我觉得你第一段模板好赞，可以有这么长，默默的学习啦）
1. 想问下这里有没有更好的写法啊，总觉得这样很俗

First and foremost, respect from others is more important than money to the young generation in the modern society. As we are in a time of peace, most of us can afford ample clothing and food. Although a rags-to-riches story facilitated plenty of young people to struggle to earn a living in the past days, now those kind of rich appears to be less attractive any more. Actually, what they value more is a sense of belonging to the society, where they can be recognized, respected（respected？） and valued by the general public. For instance, my brother Tom works in an investment bank（bank） in Wall Street. He is such a workaholic that works overtime almost every day and hardly has any free moment. Whenever I asked him what attracts him to expose himself under such an intense pressure, was it due to the high salary there? He said the Wall Street afforded him the sense of fulfillment, which could not be brought by money （instead of money这句语法有没有问题呀，我不太确定）. Therefore, public recognition can encourage people work harder.

Furthermore, young people’s awareness of upward mobility（这句话学习了！） has been raised nowadays. That is to say, the young generation tends to enter the upper class by their own efforts. The feeling of achievement is better than gaining money directly instead. Just take the president Bill Clinton as an example. Clinton was born in a single family and was grown up in Arkansas whose economic condition was not so stable all the time. As an ordinary person Clinton has a longing for others recognition. It is the upward mobility that facilitates Clinton to work hard. In this case, money itself seems to be so vulnerable compared with the public recognition.

In addition, public recognition brings us self-esteem, which motivates young people to devote themselves to jobs. Imagine when you finally overcome a difficulty in job, the praise from your boss and the recognition from your colleagues are more valuable than your salary since those prove that you have the competitive edge over others. What’s more, this sense of achievement recognized by the public will encourage you to work harder. Therefore, even if no more money is given, still the young generation is willing to work harder in order to embrace（是不是不要to？）the sense of achievement created the surround.

After ruminating all the factors, respect from the public, awareness of upward mobility and self-esteem brought by the public are all compelling justification for the public’s recognition. As a member of the young generation, it’s high time that we work harder for ourselves instead of money itself.

感觉自己第二段论据还是写的很苍白，我有空再详改一次

lynettelyq

资深少女_贾贾 发表于 2014-7-27 19:21
727 独立：

Perhaps no issue is talked as commonly asglobalization by people throughout the world.  ...

Perhaps no issue is talked as commonly as globalization by people throughout the world. With the development of logisticsand information transformation, people nowadays can easily purchase products manufactured around the world. Topics concerning whether we should buy domesticgoods or cheaper foreign goods has triggered an intense discussion. In my pointof view, both of these two options have their own merits and demerits.Nevertheless, after taking all the elements into consideration, I assert that weshould treat those products equally whatever where they were manufactured.（我个人觉得这里不用were，因为这是一个客观事实？）  （还有一个小想法是，Nevertheless这边稍稍有点怪，逻辑感觉跳了一步，你是经过下文的考虑才有的Nevertheless，要不提一下？你自己看哦）
First and foremost, comparison between domestic and foreign goods can help improve the overall quality of products. Ifthe customers insist on domestic goods regardless of the price and quality, domesticcompany would gradually fall behind other foreign companies since they do nothave to bear the risk of losing customers and decreasing sales. Just like a kidwould become lazy if the family spoils him. As it describes in the economictheory that a fair competitive market would boost the economy most, acomparison between products can help find out the weakness of design andquality and strengthen it accordingly. Therefore, an advocate of purchasingdomestic goods blindly is not a wise choice.
In addition, it is hard to tell which kindof products belongs to domestic goods. As the world tend to become a globalvillage nowadays, a large amount of international companies spring up.Commonly, different parts would be manufactured all the around the world and endup with assembling in the final country. It also explains why internationalcompanies always maintain a relatively low price as well as an above-averagequality. Consequently, even if you purchase foreign goods, some raw material orparticular parts may also （是不是应该用still？）be produced domestically. Supposing we boycottforeign good, the domestic economy would be hurt in term of tax and so on. Thusin support of some cheap and nice foreign goods may protect the country’sexportation as well.
Admittedly, insisting on domestic goods belongsto a kind of patriotism because the purpose of such behavior is to increase domesticsales and stimulate economy. However, this patriotism appears to benarrow-minded without accepting other competitors. The true patriotism is tofind a way to improve quality and control cost in order to establish acompetitive edge over other foreign goods.
After ruminating all the factors intoconsideration, improvement of overall quality and possible promotion ofdomestic economy all are compelling justifications in support of my argument.In order to express our patriotism in a right way and truly benefit domesticcompanies, it’s high time that we should treat all products equally whateverwhere they produced.

我觉得你写的已经挺好的了哎。开头你要想模版更好一点要不借鉴一下老美185，看看有木有什么好的句子。

GJason

贾贾，24日的作文今天才给你改出来，实在抱歉哦。
jiajia 的词汇和句式变化还是不错的，继续加油。
在写作思路方面，可以考虑把抽象的问题具体化，比如说适应性重要，那么是什么原因导致了适应性重要呢？新工作环境、产业发展速度快、经济全球化等等，避免论点之间的重叠就好了。

资深少女_贾贾

GJason 发表于 2014-7-28 16:15
贾贾，24日的作文今天才给你改出来，实在抱歉哦。
jiajia 的词汇和句式变化还是不错的，继续加油。
在写作 ...

太感谢啦~~~ 我会好好精改然后发上来的！

yagiliang

你好，这是我26号的作业，many thanks
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-908356-1-1.html

yagiliang

Dear，我觉得你的综合写的很不错，请问你的听力是一次性就能get到所有的point吗？

btw，我找不到你26号的独立哦

资深少女_贾贾

yagiliang 发表于 2014-7-28 23:03
Dear，我觉得你的综合写的很不错，请问你的听力是一次性就能get到所有的point吗？

btw，我找不到你26号的 ...

是一次性听的。
独立在这一页的顶部吖~~~ 就在这个帖子里面有标题的