ENJ0Y的作文贴

ENJ0Y

被英语虐得体无完肤的学渣也要努力一边吐血一边写作文==

ENJ0Y

6.19日 综合+独立

谢谢！

ENJ0Y

6.20日 综合+独立

谢谢！

Five_007

6.20日 综合+独立

Five_007

Five_007 发表于 2014-6-20 23:36
6.20日 综合+独立

我先改了19号的哈~

ENJ0Y

Five_007 发表于 2014-6-20 23:36
6.20日 综合+独立

收到，谢谢！帮助很大！

Five_007

6.20 独立+综合

ENJ0Y

Five_007 发表于 2014-6-21 17:16
6.20 独立+综合

收到谢谢！你的综合记得发给我看哈！

ENJ0Y

6.21 独立+综合

sweetyecho

错误修改好

The reading passage deals with the topic about critics that Chevalier’s memoir is not accuracy. （accurate）The professor in the lecture admits that no memoir is absolutely accurate. However, the claims in the reading passage is insufficient and demonstrates her reasons in detail as follows.

To begin with, the professor argues that the borrowing money is not a clue to conclude that Chevalier is not wealthy as the reading suggests. It is true that Chevalier spent a lot of money on parties and gambling, however, the reason why Chevalier needed to borrow money is not because he was poor. The truth is when people sell things, they need time to get the cash. Chevalier borrow money when he was waiting for his money. （一整段写的都特别棒！）

Secondly, the reading passage critics（criticizes） that Chevalier cannot remember the conversations accuracy （accurately）for years after when he wrote the memoir（这一句有问题：1.我没明白你想如何断句，读来读去很奇怪，我的感觉是for years after的问题；2.after后面肯定是不能再加when了）. Nevertheless, the professor points out the Chevalier wrote down immediately after talks every night and kept them for years. A friend of Chevalier had conformed the journal and that made the conversations confidential.（这一句听力错误：首先，遗漏了C在写M的时候经常refer笔记；其次，C的朋友作为witness应该是confirm而不是conform他确实在参考笔记）

Finally, the professor successfully proves that Chevalier’s escape from prison is true which was claimed to be false and only for the purpose to （1.for the purpose 应该搭配of 2. 如果改称of，那么后面的increase blabla要做相应调整）increase the reading enjoyable in the reading passage.  Professor firstly disagree with the bribe method offered by politically well-connected friends of Chevalier. She said that there were other prisoners whose friends were much more powerful, instead, they couldn’t escape. Moreover, the prison was documented that celling room was repaired immediately after Chevalier’s escape which proved the escapement （escape有名词用法，你用的escapement是这个意思：擒纵轮）is just like what Chevalier’s saying.（这一段的改写很赞）