|
The passage and the professor both discuss the causes of the Little Ice Age, and the three possible causes were presented in the passage. However, on the contrary, the professor says that these hypothesis（用复数） are out of date and none of them can account for the cause of Little Ice Age.
The first point mentioned in the passage is that the disruption of ocean currents is the cause of cooling. The melted glaciers sent the cold water into the Gulf Stream thus the temperature reduced. But in fact, according to the professor, some evidences prove that only several region such as European and North America rather than the whole world were affected by this Gulf Stream.
Secondly, the professor admits that the volcanic eruption can reduce the temperature because of the dust. But he suspects that the volcanic eruption did not happen at all during the Little Ice Age （这里的意思表达我觉得可以再修改一下）since that this kind of eruption can cause a series of visual effects like the change of sunset and snow, and（这个and连词用得不是很好，我觉得可以用一些转折的连词表示出猜测与实际不符） these is no report showing that this kind of phenomenon happened during that age.（我这里听到的意思是说，如果有很多的dust，那么就会产生一些visual effects，但是没有记录啊，所以说明dust is not enough）
To counter the opinion proposed in the passage stating that the carbon dioxide might be absorbed by forest tree（proposed 和stating都用来修饰opinion感觉非常地繁琐，后面的定语太长了也觉得很绕）, which was the indirect consequence of human population decrease, the professor says that these （用there？）was not enough time allowed for the trees to absorb this gas. Although human population decreased and allowed forest trees to grow, these was still not enough time for the trees to absorb the gas and cause this long-term effect.
总体来说，楼主的几个点都写得比较准确，但是我读楼主的文章，总有种一句话太长看不到头的感觉。其实我觉得句子不一定要写得很长很长，定语从句什么的一个套一个，虽然我有时候也会犯这种毛病。有时候用一些短的句子反而可以降低语法错误。长句什么的三四句应该就够了，比较综合写作是要答点。
然后文中，high黄的是写得好的地方，high蓝是可以修改的地方。 | 
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号
发表于 2014-5-19 23:19:20
楼主
