悬月清辉的原创作业贴~好好写作 天天向上！

悬月清辉

JanetYellen 发表于 2014-4-3 16:35
The essay has been revised. Please see the attachment.

谢谢~(*^__^*)

sweetyecho

4.2日独立已经批改了，亲去看一下吧 如果我有啥不对，还请指出~~~么么哒！

悬月清辉

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-4-4 19:35
4.2日独立已经批改了，亲去看一下吧 如果我有啥不对，还请指出~~~么么哒！ ...

恩恩看到了~当时写这篇的时候就觉得论点不是很好找，我觉得题目本身就有点模棱两可，所以可能论据不那么有力，不过按照之前托福课老师的说法就是即使自己不确定也要让考官觉得你很确定，说明个人语言能力还需提升！

sweetyecho

悬月清辉 发表于 2014-4-4 21:54
恩恩看到了~当时写这篇的时候就觉得论点不是很好找，我觉得题目本身就有点模棱两可，所以可能论据不那么 ...

哈哈，确实是这样的~要对自己的观点有信心！语言真的是一个慢慢积累质变的过程。大家一起加油努力，写更赞的作文！

悬月清辉

4.8 独立写作
The car(automobile) has had a greater effect on society than the airplane.

With the idea of getting faster and convenience traffic seeping into the mind of every modern dweller, the relevant vehicles, such as automobile, train or airplane, burgeon amazingly. However, some voice in current wisdom claim that the car has had a greater effect on society than the airplane. An analysis of this argument would reveal how fallacious it is. As far as my propensity is concerned, I can hardly approve of this assertion.

Indeed, we have to meticulously admit that the airplane does improve our society to some extent. Because of the invention of airplane, we can travel all over the world and the time on the way is just at most a half day, which is great for us to have the travel that announce the intention to leave and really mean it. Besides, the airport also offers plenty of opportunities of jobs such as airline stewardess, the ground crew and so on, which solve some problems of getting a job.

Yet, not everyone prefer to work at the airport and not every people travels all the time while most of dwellers think staying somewhere to work and have a car to go out with family is the better idea. It may sound exaggerated to say that all the dwellers have no requirement of airplane, but on the whole, sociologists point out that most persons' vehicles is the automobile, which they view is more convenience than airplane. Under this circumstance, the car has had a greater effect on people's life. For these concerns, isn't there ample evidence to justify that people more rely on the car?

Better still, the car make our society more effective than airplane on verity aspects. First, it saves more energy, which fair less than half of the fuel on airplane. Second, it saves more time. Imagine what would happen to a person who under the condition that the airplane just fly a hour but the way to the airport have to take two hours. Without the car, we cannot carry BBQ material to the suburb at weekends; without the car, the government cannot offer the great public traffic; without the car, the people cannot go home quickly after work. And all of the things just mention cannot be done by airplane. In the light of the aforementioned argumentation, can't we say the car make our life more comfortable and higher-efficiency?

Weighing in mind the affection of the car, all the evidence justifies an unshakable conclusion that comparing with the airplane, the car has had more improvise of our world.

Words: 425

coffa

悬月清辉 发表于 2014-4-9 09:28
4.8 独立写作
The car(automobile) has had a greater effect on society than the airplane.

多多交流，词汇真好