第一次写

panwua

1. 加入连锁店

【原始】

一个 National Fast Food chain的director说服一个叫Cindy's Local Sandwich Shop加入他们的franchise, Cindy currently has 2 local restaurants in Byromville. Director说加入我们连锁好处有 1. 批量进货 shared advertising expense - 省钱 2. standard menu, so customers already know what to order and know what kind of food quality they can expect3. Clothing store franchise has been successful. Join us now. 双赢。     —by liubolong713

  In the argument the author reaches the conclusion that  joining the fast food chain,the sandwich shop can be successful. Several reasons cited to support this argument,.First,the sandwich shop can buy supplies wholesale and share advertising expense,so that save the costs.Second,joining the franchise,the sandwich store will have a standard menu,so customers already know what to order and know what kind of food quality they can expect.Third,according to precede experience that clothing store franchise has been successful,it must be favorable to operate franchises.At the first glance, the author’s argument appears to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection reveals that the argument omits some important concerns that must be addressed to substantiate the argument.

  Most apparently,the author cite no evidence to support this assumption that buying supplies wholesale and sharing advertising expense can save the costs.this assumption is dubious in many aspects. For example, it’s entirely possible that buying supplies wholesale lead to a huge stock,so that the sandwich store have a deficit.

  The author emphasize the advantage of standard menu, but he neglect that it may be a drawback simultaneously. Indeed,standard menu can ensure that customers know what to order and the quality in advance,but it also means that the menu mostly fixed,and can’t be updated in time with the popular trend.

  What’more,the argument is unconvincing also because it is based on a false analogy.differences between the clothing store franchise and the food chain clearly overweight the similarities,thus making it highly doubtful to deem that the clothing store franchise has been successful,and the sandwich store has.

  To sum up,the author’s conclusion is seriously undermined by the numerous flaws in his reasoning identified above.If the author could consider carefully,and provide more evidence,this argument would be more convincing.

查了字典对照了模板严重超时..还不知道字数够没
小伙伴们给点建议？

nicolefeng12345

字数严重不够呀亲，才248，私以为怎么也要上450字吧。
而且中间三段的reasoning太简略了，重点应该是这三段，扩展一下吧。我也在作文写作初期，不当之处欢迎讨论