【求批改】l两次考试综合写作只有fair的菜鸟求指导，谢谢

hellomelody22

独立写作一直是good，可能是字数够多呜呼，综写却总是fair，所以写作一直徘徊在二十多出头，今天练了11年10月14日的综合写作一篇，核对答案后感觉对应答题点并无遗漏，求高手批改，无论语言方面或其他方面建议均当虚心接受，谢谢各位了习作省略了开头结尾，
11年10月14日北美托福综合写作真题习作

Firstly, thereading passage describes that the invasion of alien plant species would chokeout the wetlands plant species. However, the professor in the lector statesthat the change to low nutrient fertilizers would be a good method to controlthe number of the alien species. This is because the high nutrient fertilizerswould wash off into the nearby area and permit the alien plants to grow andflourish.

Secondly, thereading passage cites that droughts have made the plant in wetland die off. Incontrast, the professor declares that as the drainage channels were blocked up,the water would stay there and be restored in those close channels to overcomethe droughts.

Lastly, thereading passage points out the mercury and coal-fired electricity are pollutantof wetlands. The professor claims that there are already some clean coaltechnologies which can prevent the pollution. Because such solutions arecost-effective, the government needs to require the use of them.

zengyuruo

我能弱弱的说一句，我也是一样的情况么。感觉要点都答上了，不知道问题在哪里。
研究了两天OG，感觉可能是lecture的细节展开不够，或者是写作的时候同义转换不够。
其实队里写综合的人不是很多。。。而且， 亲，队里都是写TPO，你占座了么？这样别人没法儿给你改哈！