twe-69,谢谢指导

xuli_123

Topic:  If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

When you ask people if they were employers which kind of worker would they prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary, I guess some of them would choose the former one just because they consider paying lower salary means saving more money. In their opinion, the experience is not the most important thing and they believe worker will be skillful step by step after their hard working. Indeed, this idea has its persuasion, but I don’t agree with it.

In no doubt, paying low salary can save money, however, the expenses on training skills will be increasing. If an employer doesn’t pay attention to train the tyros, he will consume a lot of time on waiting them to be specialized works and after they have enough experience, their salary will be changed. That means the cost on business will be increasing.

On the contrary, hiring experienced workers shows more advantages. On one hand, an experienced worker could bring benefits to their boss. As we know, the long-term working experience will inspire some advanced technologies and these advanced technologies will cause high efficiency. Furthermore, high efficiency means high benefit, so the expense on business will be saved at the same time. On the other hand, using an experienced worker will reduce the loss. It can be given a concrete example: my grandma’s false teeth ever had been broken just because she hired an inexperienced worker to clean them. These false teeth cost her much money and it is more expensive than the worker’s salary. During those days she nearly couldn’t eat any thing and the loss couldn’t be compensated by money. Indeed, hiring an experienced worker at high salary is more satisfied to her.

From what has been discussed above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we can safely reach the conclusion that hiring an experienced worker is superior to hiring an inexperienced worker. So if let me make a decision, I would prefer to choose hiring an experienced worker even though his salary is higher than an inexperienced worker.

这样的文章是个什么样的水平呢？

结构合不合理？哪些地方语法有错误？

谢谢指导。

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-12-31 16:02:44编辑过]

hncsxj

建议用经典的五段式，首段末句明确提出观点，2，3段首句是分观点。4段最好是驳反方论点（也可是第3个分观点），5段总结。至于其他的文章结构，个人看法是正楷练好之前不要去想草书。至于语法方面，有些地方不好说你写错了，可是老外的文章这样写得少。新东方的李笑来说，先不要自己创造句子，阅读时看到好句子记下来，改写句子。这样写出来的东西要地道些。

xuli_123

看来我真的需要好好练习了

谢谢版主，我会好好努力的。

祝新年愉快！

xuli_123

When you ask people if they were employers which kind of worker would they prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary, I bet some of them would choose the former one. But as far as I am concerned, I would better to choose hiring an experienced worker at higher salary. The reasons are given as follows.

To begin with, an experienced worker could bring benefits to his boss. On one hand, as a boss, he needs his workers to produce a lot of wealth for him. On the other hand, as a worker, he must need enough ability to create money. As we known, high benefit come from high efficiency, while the long-term working experience inspires some advanced technologies, high efficiency will come into being. At the same time the value of productivity on experienced workers is showed and the expense on business will be saved.

Furthermore, using an experienced worker will reduce the loss. It can be given a concrete example: my grandma’s false teeth ever had been broken just because she hired an inexperienced worker to clean them. These false teeth cost her much money and it is more expensive than the worker’s salary. During those days she nearly couldn’t eat any thing and the loss couldn’t be compensated by money. Indeed, hiring an experienced worker at high salary is more satisfied to her.

Just as an old saying in china, any coin has two sides. It is no exception with the hiring worker. Indeed, hiring an inexperienced worker at lower salary also can save money, but the expenses on training skills will be increasing. If an employer doesn’t pay attention to train the tyros, he will consume a lot of time on waiting them to be specialized works and after they have enough experience, their salary will be changed. That means the cost on business will be increasing.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that hiring an experienced worker is superior to hiring an inexperienced worker. So if let me make a decision, I would prefer to choose hiring an experienced worker even though his salary is higher than an inexperienced worker.

只是把结构改了一下，不知道行不行。有关语言，好象需要很长时间才能写好吧，不知道哪一些是不符合语言习惯的呢？谢谢指点啦！！！

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-1-3 23:13:47编辑过]

pengstone

以下是引用xuli_123在2005-1-3 23:06:00的发言：

When you ask people if they were employers which kind of worker would they prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary, I bet some of them would choose the former one. （这样写很中文化，不如换一些简单的写法：Some employers would like to hire inexperienced workers at a lower salary.）But as far as I am concerned, I would better to choose hiring an experienced worker at higher salary. The reasons are given as follows.

To begin with, an experienced worker could bring benefits to his boss. (这个表达太宽泛，和第二个理由不能构成并列关系。第一个理由：Hiring experienced workers will increase productivity and cut cost.第二个理由：Hiring experienced workers will enhance services to customers.)On one hand, as a boss, he needs his workers to produce a lot of wealth for him. On the other hand, as a worker, he must need enough ability to create money. As we known, high benefit come from high efficiency, while the long-term working experience inspires some advanced technologies, high efficiency will come into being. At the same time the value of productivity on experienced workers is showed and the expense on business will be saved.

建议楼主再改改。

xuli_123

谢谢pengstone，参考了你的意见，又改了一下，不知道行不行

When it comes to the issue as to which kind of worker would you prefer to hire, different people  have different opinions. Some employers would like to hire inexperienced workers at a lower salary, but others have the opposite idea. As far as I am concerned, I would better to choose hiring an experienced worker at higher salary. The reasons are given as follows.

To begin with, hiring experienced workers will increase productivity and cut cost. On one hand, a boss looks the money as his life, so producing a great deal of wealth by workers is very important to him. On the other hand, as a worker, he must need enough ability to create money. As we know, high benefit come from high efficiency, while the long-term working experience inspires some advanced technologies, high efficiency will come into being. At the same time the value of productivity on experienced workers is showed and the expense on business will be saved.

Furthermore, hiring experienced workers will enhance services to customers. It can be given a concrete example: my grandma’s false teeth ever had been broken just because she hired an inexperienced worker to clean them. These false teeth cost her much money and it is more expensive than the worker’s salary. During those days she nearly couldn’t eat any thing and the loss couldn’t be compensated by money. Indeed, hiring an experienced worker at high salary is more satisfied to her.

Just as an old saying in china, any coin has two sides. It is no exception with the hiring worker. Indeed, hiring an inexperienced worker at lower salary also can save money, but the expenses on training skills will be increasing. If an employer doesn’t pay attention to train the tyros, he will consume a lot of time on waiting them to be specialized works and after they have enough experience, their salary will be changed. That means the cost on business will be increasing.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that hiring an experienced worker is superior to hiring an inexperienced worker. So if let me make a decision, I would prefer to choose hiring an experienced worker even though his salary is higher than an inexperienced worker.

觉得开头太简单了是不是有点单调，而且我也怕字数不够，不好意思的说。。。。现在这个开头是不是还是很中文化呢？

另外，别的地方还有没有什么重大问题呀，水平实在有限，也不知道怎么改才好，谢谢！

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-1-4 23:30:10编辑过]

pengstone

以下是引用xuli_123在2005-1-4 23:28:00的发言：

谢谢pengstone，参考了你的意见，又改了一下，不知道行不行

When it comes to the issue as to which kind of worker would you prefer to hire, different people  have different opinions. Some employers would like to hire inexperienced workers at a lower salary, but others have the opposite idea. As far as I am concerned, I would better to choose hiring an experienced worker at higher salary. The reasons are given as follows.比上一个版好一些了，字数足够了，不用担心。

To begin with, hiring experienced workers will increase productivity and cut cost. On one hand, a boss looks the money as his life, so producing a great deal of wealth by workers is very important to him. On the other hand, as a worker, he must need enough ability to create money. As we know, high benefit come from high efficiency, while the long-term working experience inspires some advanced technologies, high efficiency will come into being. At the same time the value of productivity on experienced workers is showed and the expense on business will be saved.不太明白你的逻辑，太中文化了。建议重写。可从两方面来论述：１、experienced workers 不用花时间培训，可以马上投入工作，节省培训成本；２，experienced workers 的业务很熟练，并且可以不断改进工作流程，从而提高效率。

xuli_123

谢谢pengston，又改了一下，帮忙看看。

When it comes to the issue as to whether an employer should hire inexperienced workers at a lower salary or experienced worker at a higher salary, different people have different opinions. Some employers would like to choose the former one, but others have the opposite idea. As far as I am concerned, I choose hiring an experienced worker at higher salary. The reasons are given as follows.

To begin with, hiring experienced workers can cut cost. Although hiring an inexperienced worker at lower salary can save money, the expenses on training skills will be increasing. If an employer doesn’t pay attention to train the tyros, he will consume a lot of time on waiting them to be specialized works and after they have enough experiences, their salary will be increasing. On the contrary, hiring an experienced worker can avoid this problem I mentioned above and the cost on business will be cut down.

Furthermore, hiring an experienced worker can increase productivity. As we known, an experienced worker has more ability than an inexperienced worker to increase productivity. The ability coming from the specialized worker’s long-term working experiences would inspire the creativity that can improve some advanced technologies. While technologies have been improved, both efficiency and productivity on working are also increasing.

Last but not the least, hiring experienced workers will enhance services to customers. It can be given a concrete example: my grandma’s false teeth ever had been broken just because she hired an inexperienced worker to clean them. These false teeth cost her much money and it is more expensive than the worker’s salary. During those days she nearly couldn’t eat any thing and the loss couldn’t be compensated by money. Indeed, hiring an experienced worker at high salary is more satisfied to her.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that hiring an experienced worker is superior to hiring an inexperienced worker. So if let me make a decision, I would prefer to choose hiring an experienced worker even though his salary is higher than an inexperienced work.

又改了一下,还是不知道行不行.

不知道中文化到底是什么意思啊,语言\逻辑\还是结构,或者三者都有?

一头雾水的说,也不知道这一次改了是不是还是很中文化?

对了,还有形成并列关系的意思是不是指每一段的开头都要用同一种句式,还是指别的?

请多多指点了.谢谢了先.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-1-5 22:44:30编辑过]

pengstone

俺说“中文化”是指用中文的逻辑和语言结构来写英文，这个没办法，只能靠大量地读、写英文来改正。

俺说“并列关系”是指每个分论点之间在逻辑上是并列关系，而不是包含关系，而不是指在句式上要并列。相反，句式多变会显示你的英文写作能力。

xuli_123

看来没救了，找了一位NN的模板套了一下，也不知道行不行。这次可以了吗？

Whether hiring inexperienced workers at a lower salary or hiring experienced workers at a higher salary is a hot topic for employer today. There are many people who think that hiring inexperienced workers at a lower salary is better but the others might prefer hiring experienced workers at a higher salary. If facing the question, I would probably follow the latter one. In the following discussion I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

No issue is more important now than the one that an experienced worker have ability to increase productivity which comes from long-term working experiences and to inspire the creativity that can improve some advanced technologies. As we known, the efficiency produced by an experienced worker may be one or two times than an inexperienced worker, we can see how important the experience of the worker is from this example.

Cost is another chief and head reason that I have chosen to put here. It is no better illustration that can prove the view, the less cost you spend, the more profit you earned. Today the most important thing that every employer caring for is the lowest cost which can bring the company the highest benefits and every employ want to save money and time to train the tyros, that is the reason why so many employers prefer to hire experienced workers in their company. In this fiercely competitive society, low cost means everything for success. If you can see that, you can understand it more deeply.

Superior as hiring experienced workers at high salary is, however, hiring inexperienced workers at a low salary also has some advantages, such as obedience of tyros, low-paying in short time. Nevertheless, the merits of hiring experienced workers at a high salary carry much more weight than that of hiring inexperienced workers at a low salary. So the conclusion is most striking and obvious.

To sum up, given the reason discussed above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we can safely reach the conclusion that hiring an experienced worker is better than an inexperienced worker even though his salary is higher than an inexperienced worker.