互改小组——bitemilk的作文贴

bitemilk

感谢帮忙改作文的朋友！非常认真负责！

普渡哥

第一句很长； As a result of declining profits, the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of cheap movie-rental stores intends to reduce operating expenses instead of raising prices, because recently one of its store in downtown Marston reduced the opening hours and ceased to stock DVDs released more than 5 years ago, but raised few complaints from customers.

我觉得可以从新组织，让结构更紧凑。

bitemilk

普渡哥 发表于 2013-6-24 11:20
第一句很长； As a result of declining profits, the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of cheap movie-re ...

谢谢！不过我也有点困惑，就是写出这类复杂句到底是好还是不好呢？一个长句会不会为自己加分呢？

wxyzhd

改好了，请查收，谢谢。

bitemilk

wxyzhd 发表于 2013-6-24 20:37
改好了，请查收，谢谢。

收到！非常感谢！另外提一个小问题，就是我写的Perhaps in some stores the best rent-out movies in the inventory are the classic ones.是针对题目中取消库存里出版超过5年的电影这个举措的，所以个人感觉还是有必要的~

olivekola

已改，请查收~~~有问题可以交流~

denlucy

已改   

bitemilk

denlucy 发表于 2013-6-25 21:46
已改

谢谢，另外without which it is impossible to evaluate this traditional remedy.你只要在which后面加一个逗号就懂啦~

olivekola

发错了刚刚~~
  发到别人帖子里去了 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

wxyzhd

不好意思，这么迟才发给你。其实Argu50我们不是同一组的，不过既然你已经改了我的argu50，照理我也应该帮你改一改。若有改得不妥之处，还请见谅。