高手帮改一下，并给个分

wangyhongm

我上个月考得t,考完了，自认为作文能到5分，这样就能到250，但作文成绩是4.5，郁闷，还得重考。

我得那个作文题目是

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

自己再写一遍，肯请指教。谢谢先

Depending on personal experience,personality type and emotional concern,we may find that some people hold the idea of living in a big city.However,others prefer to live in a small town.From my point of view,I want to live in a big city because I think there are more advantages.

There are numerous reasons why I choose to live in a big city.And I would in here explain a few of the most important ones.The main reason for my propensity for living a big city is that living a big city can receive better education.It can be given a concrete example.When I grew up in a big city,I can receive the best education.It is well known that the best schools and universities are founded in big cities.In short,even though there are many different concerns about the topic,in my part,I also would like to vote for living a big city.

Another reason why I advocate the attitude of living a big city is that there is more recreation in a big city than in a small town.Take the case of a thing that you want to go to cinema on weekends.In a big city,it is very easy for you to find a cinema.Nevertheless,if you are in a small town,you will have difficulity to find a cimema.So as far as I am concerned,living a big city is a wise choice.

One very strong argument for living in a big city is that I can know much different culture.This demonstrates the undeniable fact that you can know more culture in a big city.If you live a small town,you can only know your culture.What a pity!No wonder,living in a big city brings me convenience that I can not get if I live in a small town.

Of course,living in a small town also has advantages to some extent.For example,you can breath clean air,and you can see many animals that can not seen in a big city.But if all these factors are contemplated,the advantages of living in a big city carry more weight than those of living in a smll town.

In a word,living in a big city can bring me more benefits .Therefore,from what has been discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that living in a big city is better than living in a small town.

wangyhongm

每人给看看吗？真的希望有人能帮忙看看，知道自己哪里不行，再好好练呀。谢谢

tomato

XD， 试试帮其他人看看？

tomato

以下是引用wangyhongm在2004-12-22 12:55:00的发言：

我上个月考得t,考完了，自认为作文能到5分，这样就能到250，但作文成绩是4.5，郁闷，还得重考。

我得那个作文题目是

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

自己再写一遍，肯请指教。谢谢先

Depending on personal experience,personality type and emotional concern,we may find that some people hold the idea of living in a big city.However,others prefer to live in a small town.From my point of view,I want to live in a big city because I think there are more advantages.

There are numerous reasons why I choose to live in a big city.And I would in here explain a few of the most important ones.The main reason for my propensity for living a big city is that living a big city can receive better education.It can be given a concrete example.When I grew up in a big city,I can receive the best education.It is well known that the best schools and universities are founded in big cities.In short,even though there are many different concerns about the topic,in my part,I also would like to vote for living a big city.

Another reason why I advocate the attitude of living a big city is that there is more recreation in a big city than in a small town.Take the case of a thing that you want to go to cinema on weekends.In a big city,it is very easy for you to find a cinema.Nevertheless,if you are in a small town,you will have difficulity to find a cimema.So as far as I am concerned,living a big city is a wise choice.

One very strong argument for living in a big city is that I can know much different culture.This demonstrates the undeniable fact that you can know more culture in a big city.If you live a small town,you can only know your culture.What a pity!No wonder,living in a big city brings me convenience that I can not get if I live in a small town.

Of course,living in a small town also has advantages to some extent.For example,you can breath clean air,and you can see many animals that can not seen in a big city.But if all these factors are contemplated,the advantages of living in a big city carry more weight than those of living in a smll town.

In a word,living in a big city can bring me more benefits .Therefore,from what has been discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that living in a big city is better than living in a small town.

这文章还行。 但是拼写错误很多。 您放在WORD里面查查吧