新人whom123首次参加小分队，求狠批求指点，越狠越开心！

mk314400

8/18综合 批改

Thelecture absolutely disagrees with the opinion of the passage. And itcontradicts the evidence of proving（改成that proves会更好） thegirl in portrait is Austen given in the passage one by one as follows.

First, the passage says that Austen's family gavepermission to use the portrait as an illustration in a（an） editionof her letters in 1882. However, it was the time when Austen was dead foralmost 70 years, which means no one in the family had ever seen Austen before.In fact, they didn't know whether it was Austen or not for certain. Thus thisso-called provence is less than plausible.

Second, the lecture  points out that there were so manyfemale teenagers in Austen's big family. And also, it is quite possible thatthere were some of the relatives of Austen who resembls her a lot. So theclaim that the girl in portrait is Austen because she resembles the sketch ofCassandra is not sound. Apart from that, it has been found that one girl calledMarian in the family really resembles the girl in portrait. She is more likelyto be the girl in the portrait.(稍稍有点乱。个人认为听力和文章中的内容交叉出现的形式不是特别清晰。)

Furthermore, the evidence that the painting was paintedwhen Austen was a teenager was less than convincable. The campus of thisportrait was discovered to be sold  by a merchant named William. Buthe didn't sell campus（canvas） untilAusten was 27, who was not a teenager any more. Hence this strongly disputesthe view of passage as well.

建议：在听的时候要抓住听力中哪个点反驳了阅读中的哪个点，要一一对应。这样在听的时候能够帮助你集中注意力，并且写的时候也会更有逻辑。本文稍微有点单薄。可能主要是听的问题～加油！P.S.里面的拼写错误直接放进word校对一下吧我不帮你改了。。

laneesherry

前来提醒一下，这位同学不要忘了帮我改18号的作文虽然说很烂。。。
http://forum.chasedream.com/foru ... &fromuid=810631

whom123

8.20 综合 TPO14

The lecture totally contradicts the opinion of the passage, stating that salvage logging appears to be helpful but causes serious and longer-term damage in fact.

Firstly, it is confirmed in the passage that salvage logging can take place for new trees and help forest recover. Yet this is not a right condition. From the decomposition of the dead trees the soil will be full of nutrient and more suitable for the live trees to grow. Therefore removing them right away is just reducing the nutrient in soil and not good for the forest's development.

In addition, the spruce bark beetle is likely to be less harmful than what is expected in the passage since it has been lived in the forest for almost a hundred years. Besides, removing the dead trees is removing the habitat of many species, such as birds and some other insects, which contribute to the forest at the same time. Hence salvage logging is indeed not a long-term strategy.

At last, the professor mentions that it is not economical at all to carry out the salvage logging. It needs helicopters and some other facilities, which is expensive,  to do the plan. So it is possible to cost more money other than to have profits. Apart from that, offering job opportunities is temporary. And this also needs more special training of local residents.

From what has been discussed above, salvage logging has more draw-backs than benefits.

whom123

8.20 独立

With the development of differentindustries, an increasing number of social life style has come to us. Unlikethe limited choices in the past, today more life styles are within reach whenit is time for us to relax. When it comes to this topic, a debate always existsbetween the choice of physical exercise and that of reading or watching movies.For me, I prefer to do the latter.

In the first place, physical exercise isindeed a good activity to spend spare time, yet it is not a good way forrelaxation. After some sorts of exercise, you sweat and get tired. Thus extratime is needed for you to rest and deal with the sweating clothes. Sometimes weeven feel tiredness, which many of us may have had enough in the work. Incontrast, reading or watching movies saves you a plenty of time, as we all knowtime is money today, as well as have a time of real comfort.

In addition, reading or watching moviesalso has less requirements about the space. When preparing to do some exercise,such as football or baseball, you will need a wide and broad place to carry onyour plan. However, no matter what type of movie or book you would like toenjoy, opening your computer and downloading what you like simply achieves yourgoal, especially in the information era. It is clear a computer surely will nottake a big place. Wherever you are, at home or in the office, it is convenientto do this relax work right away without going out to find a suitable place.

Furthermore, doing physical exercisesometimes cause injury. Even it is a rare condition, once it happened anyone involvedin it would be influenced in many aspects. It may hurt some parts which isnecessary for your job. A good worker will feel frustrated when his hands usedfor handling machines were injured. You would spend money on medical care ofthe injury part. For someone it would bring them mental frustration because ofmoney loss.

Physical exercise is a good way to becomestrong. It helps us fit and have the attractive statue. However, it may not bea good option to relax. Aim of relaxation is to have enough rest and comfort,not create some risky and unhappy consequences.

饼干小熊

The lecture totally contradicts the opinion of the passage, stating that salvage logging appears to be helpful but causes serious and longer-term damage in fact.

Firstly, it is confirmed in the passage that salvage logging can take place for new trees and help forest recover. Yet this is not a right condition for tree grows.From the decomposition of the dead trees the soil will be full of nutrient and more suitable for the live trees to grow. Therefore removing them right away is just reducing the nutrient in soil and not good for the forest's development.

In addition, the spruce bark beetle is likely to be less harmful than what is expected in the passage since it has been lived in the forest for almost a hundred years. Besides, removing the dead trees is removing the habitat of many species, such as birds and some other insects, which contribute to the forest at the same time. Hence salvage logging is indeed not a long-term strategy. 要再提下insect infestation

At last, the professor mentions that it is not economical at all to carry out the salvage logging. It needs helicopters and some other facilities, which is expensive,  to do the plan. So it is possible to cost more money other than to have profits. Apart from that, offering job opportunities is temporary. And this also needs more special training of local residents. 后来又听了下，有提到给的工作多给外地人抢走了

From what has been discussed above, salvage logging has more draw-backs than benefits.


用词简洁到位挑不出什么错，稍加强一下逻辑就更好了。不严谨的地方我用红色标出来了。

ni_kate

8.22 独立，请查阅,别忘了修改噢
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-870746-2-1.html