写作新人来报道 求指教

咩咩糖公主

第一次来cd发帖 实在是太久没写过作文了，所以写得很烂请不要见笑啊 真心求指正
3.19   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The rules that the whole societies today expect to young people to follow and obey are too strict.


As the concept of liberty and freedom is generally spread and accepted, more and more juniors start questioning whether the rules composed on them are too strict. As for me, I reckon that we young men should not complain about the regulations of the society. And I have the following reasons.
First and foremost, as is known to all, freedom and obligations are the two sides of a coin. One cannot live in a totally unrestrained world because liberty cannot live without restriction. If there is no law to regulate people’s behaviors in a society, the citizens would not feel safe and free to do anything.The same is true for schools. A student is not able to perform well in his study if the school is not in good order.We young students are willing to do many things we want, meanwhile, we have to obey the rules of the world.
In the second place, most disciplines set by the adults aim to help the young, especially the unself-disciplined kids. Some young children do not have the ability to distinguish bad and good, and some just cannot stop making mistakes if there were no supervision. Internet addiction,which is quite common among young students, can serve as a good example here. In such cases, discipline can tell kids what is wrong and help them form a good habit.
Thirdly, there were even more strict rules on seniors when they were at our ages. My grandmother told me that when she told a lie, her father might even beat her as penalty. And for the students before, they had less freedom to show their own opinions against the teacher, or the teacher might think his authority was challenged and he was not respected.
For the reasons above, I still persist on strict disciplines and regulations for the youth.

超级无敌小鹤鹤

欢迎加入小分队??＜

yyjfantasy

As the concept of liberty and freedom isgenerally spread and accepted, more and more juniors start questioning whetherthe rules composed on them are too strict. As for me, I reckon that we youngmen should not complain about the regulations of the society. And I have thefollowing reasons.


First and foremost, as is known to all, freedomand obligations are the two sides of a coin. One cannot live in a totallyunrestrained world because liberty cannot live without restriction. If there isno law to regulate people’s behaviors in a society, the citizens would(will) not feel safe and(or) free to do anything. The same is true for schools.(the same可以这么用的么、、) A studentis(will) not be able to perform well in his study if the school is not in good order.We young students are willing to do many things we want. Meanwhile, we have toobey the rules of the world.


In the second place, most disciplines set by the adults aim tohelp the young, especially the unself-disciplined kids. Some young children donot have the ability to distinguish bad and good, and some just cannot stopmaking mistakes if there were no supervision. Internet addiction, which isquite common among young students, can serve as a good example here. In suchcases, discipline can tell kids what is wrong and help them form a good habit.


Thirdly, there were even more strict rules onseniors when they were at our ages. My grandmother told me that when she told alie, her father might even beat her as penalty(这个词用得好). And for the students before, they had lessfreedom（比较从何而来） to show their own opinions against theteacher, or the teacher might think his authority was challenged and he was notrespected.
For the reasonsabove, I still persist on strict disciplines and regulations for the youth.
时态有些地方需要小小的注意。三个支持原因之间没什么逻辑联系，（或者小白白我没懂，，）不过内容都挺好的，词和句子还可以更diversity!加油加油！

咩咩糖公主

这次的作文是参考了老美写neighbor的范文，认真学习以后仿写的。。。路漫漫其修远兮，吾将上下而求索。。。边学边写吧。。。请指正！
3.20 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Nowadays,neighbors depend on each others less than the people in the past.

Speaking of the word “neighbour”, it aroused different responses among people. Some may give a snort of contempt or even frown upon it, while others might nod their heads at it with their whole-hearted smile on their faces. Maybe someone might argue that with modern communication technologies one can contact his friends and relatives more easily, and therefore, depend less on neighbors. But as to me, neighbor brought me warm memories, and still maintains great importance nowadays.

When I think of my childhood years, the first friends came to my mind were my classmates, relatives and of course, neighbors. Neighbors are the people who share the street, block and fences with us. They are often the people we meet at the very beginning of the day, and whom again we will encounter at the end of the day. A nice and sincere smile on their faces, or a simple “hello” as a warm greeting on the way may gives us a joyful mood as a good start of the day, or a comfort to a dreadful day. Also, stories of kids in the neighborhood growing up together and then becoming mutual friends are not rare. Nice neighbors provide a cordial living environment through their care and friendship.
Another conspicuous advantage of having a helpful neighbor is that you know if something happens, your neighbor is there ready to give a hand. Throughout our lives, we due to encounter some problems that cannot be resolved by ourselves. What if we new-comers know nothing about how the medical system operated in the community but somebody in our family is being sick? What will you do with your thirsty plants when you plan for a family trip? How can you put your worries to rest when leaving to work with your children alone at home? When those particular moments come into life, the first person come into your mind might be your friends or relatives. However,most of the time, in the next second, you might find them either too far away or unavailable at that time. And the real people you can rely on at those hard times are your neighbors. Getting a warm-hearted man living close to you means that you can turn to them for immediate help instead of trying to find everyone’s phone number.
All in all, neighbors are indispensable people in our lives. Even in modern society with convenient communicating methods, a distant relative is not better than a close neighbor just as the old saying goes.

慕禾

亲，小分队占座仅限当天10:30之前，你可以只占座第二天再用编辑把文章贴上去。如果十点半左右已经分好了组，就不要再占那天的啦><

慕禾

咦，你写的21号的作业吧？晕没事了~你占座日期写的20号

咩咩糖公主

卖力的向各位大牛学习中，这次的作文是认真模仿了传说中的梨花海棠君的，参考了185，并向小队中的lihaolan同学学习之后的习作，请狠批，批完了偶狠狠的背。。。。
3.26  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.
As educational methods-- the ever-lasting heatedly discussed topic--concern the future of the next generation, parents and the public cast great effort to chase the beacon in the mist. Some educationists oppose to the usual practices of focusing on academic study. Instead, they propose that youngsters should be taught via social activities in clubs or organizations because that is of same value as science scholarship. This paradox triggers a storm of arguing and discussing, and people fall into it with confusion. General arguments and specific examples will be given in this article to demonstrate the pros and cons of each method, providing a straightforward process to decide the better one.
Independent and critical thinking is the favorable and essential quality of children. Joining an organization will force a child to actively acquire the required working and living skills which otherwise cannot be fed into their minds by lecturers in the classroom. On the other hand, however, no one can neglect or deny the necessity of guidance in the process of theoretical knowledge acquisition.Whenever you encounter difficulties, the teacher will give you a hand and render his advice.With his guidance, you can obtain a thorough overview of the knowledge system and broaden the scope of a specific topic. Without a guide, you would be searching in darkness without a torch to light the way for you.
Another advantage of association can offer is the more relaxing and open circumstances where it would be easier to explore and cultivate the teenagers’ interests and hobbies. And the young may become an all-around developed citizens instead of bookworms. Nevertheless, even some adults, not to mention little kids, are inclined to be indolent for lack of a strong will. Namely, teachers, in this occasion, are able to provide supervision. You are urged to go on by your teacher.
Finally, I try to convince myself to support one way, but I failed. Complex and intricate as the issue is, what we discovered and explored above is not enough to conclude since both methods fit for different subjects and individuals. Surviving skills can be better learned in associations while science and literature should be given as a carefully planned knowledge system. Also, dealing with kids of different characters and personalities, either learning method has its own merits which cannot be weighed on the same scale. Standing on different dimensional mountains, you can view various scenes.

lihaolan

As educational methods-- the ever-lasting heatedly discussed topic—concern(可以说是教育方法起越来越重要的作用，原句不顺的concern 作为关系很少这样用。一般开头concerning。。。。) the future of the next generation, parents and the public cast great effort to chase the beacon in the mist. Some educationists oppose to the usual practices of focusing on academic study. Instead, they propose that youngsters should be taught via social activities in clubs or organizations because that is of same value as science scholarship. This paradox triggers a storm of arguing and discussing, and people fall into it with confusion. General arguments and specific examples will be given in this article to demonstrate the pros and cons of each method, providing a straightforward process to decide the better one.（这种话不是很自然，还是自然最好）
Independent and critical thinking is（are） the favorable and essential quality（qualities） of children. Joining an organization will force（force有点负面encourage，motivate，inspire 吧） a child to actively acquire the required working and living skills which otherwise cannot be fed into their minds（be obtained within the classroom） by lecturers in the classroom. On the other hand, however, no one can afford to neglect or deny the necessity of guidance in the process of theoretical knowledge acquisition, without which one cannot make a splash in his field. Whenever you encounter difficulties, the teacher will give you a hand and render his advice. With his guidance, you can obtain a thorough overview of the knowledge system and broaden the scope of a specific topic. Without(being devoid of) a guide, you would be searching in darkness without a torch to light the way for you.
Another advantage of association that it can offer is the more relaxing and open circumstances where it would be easier to explore and cultivate the teenagers’ interests and hobbies. And the young may become an all-around(well-rounded) developed citizens instead of bookworms. Nevertheless, even some adults, not to mention little kids, are inclined to be indolent for lack of a strong will. Namely, teachers, in this occasion, are able to provide supervision. You are urged to go on by your teacher.
Finally, I try to convince myself to support one way, but I failed. Complex and intricate as the issue is, what we discovered and explored above is not enough to conclude since both methods fit for different subjects and individuals. Surviving skills can be better learned in associations while science and literature should be given as a carefully planned knowledge system. Also, dealing with kids of different characters and personalities, either learning method has its own merits which cannot be weighed on the same scale. Standing on different dimensional mountains, you can view various scenes.
文章采取中立态度。这样写也挺新颖的。还有就是倒数第二段。还要具体说academic studies are more compulsive。其他很好。真的不错

咩咩糖公主

好吧，队里牛人太多，每次写作文都不敢动笔了，都偷偷的去大家那里学习一下，再回来加工盗版= = 版权申明，若有部分雷同，纯属故意。。。
3.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The parents spend too much time on determining future things of children. Children can make choices by their own.
    It is not uncommon to see many caring parents make almost all the decisions for their children ranging from what programs they can see to which classes they should attend. Admittedly, adults are more experienced and capable in detecting the potential disadvantages. Nevertheless, I refute the idea that youngsters’ future things should be determined by the adults.
　　　First and foremost, as is more widely acknowledged, independent thinking is a indispensable quality to future citizens. If teenagers are overprotected and unable to make decisions for themselves, hardly can they build self-confidence when confronted with real dilemma. In contrast, children encouraged to vote for their own choices in their formative age would be more courageous and experienced when they grow up. That can explicitly illustrate why many educationists are dedicating to constructing a student-oriented class. What’s more, youngsters of the latter kind are more willing to assume obligation because by leaning on themselves to make choices instead of parents’ compulsion, they understand that they should take responsibility for the possible consequences.
　　　In the second place, parents’ conventional thinking may impede the new generation’s innovation. In this era, rapid social and technological changes lead to life complexity and psychological displacement to which the older may find the former common practice not so adaptable. Although sometimes the young may do something radical, or not in accordance with the mainstream, no one can deny maybe a novel idea is being fostered and it later may even affect the whole world.  
     Last but not least, the young today are more capable to make the right choice for themselves in contrast with the older generation. On one hand, students receive better education than their parents.We were taught at school how to distinguish right from wrong even when we were very young. On the other hand, with the help of Internet, the new generation has expanded their outlook which makes them more thoughtful when determining their futures.
    All in all, undoubtedly parents wish they could help the children avoid frustration by determining their futures, however, that is not a good strategy. In my perspective, it is better for them to offer advice instead of compulsion.

viviyl

   It is not uncommon to see many caring parents make almost all the decisions for their children ranging from what programs they can see to which classes they should attend. Admittedly, adults are more experienced and capable in(of) detecting the potential disadvantages. Nevertheless, I refute the idea that youngsters’ future things should be determined by the adults.
　　　First and foremost, as is more widely acknowledged, independent thinking is a(n) indispensable quality to future citizens. If teenagers are overprotected and unable to make decisions for themselves, hardly can they build self-confidence when confronted with real dilemma. In contrast, children encouraged to vote for their own choices in their formative age would be more courageous and experienced when they grow up. That can explicitly illustrate why many educationists are dedicating to constructing a student-oriented class. What’s more, youngsters of the latter kind are more willing to assume obligation because by leaning on themselves to make choices instead of parents’ compulsion, they understand that they should take responsibility for the possible consequences.
　　　In the second place, parents’ conventional thinking may impede the new generation’s innovation. In this era, rapid social and technological changes lead to life complexity and psychological displacement to which the older may find the former common practice not so adaptable. Although sometimes the young may do something radical, or not in accordance with the mainstream, no one can deny maybe a novel idea is being fostered and it later may even affect the whole world.  (再强调一下由于年轻人的新思潮所以他们更能为自己做决定，这样更扣题一点。)
     Last but not least, the young today are more capable to make the right choice for themselves in contrast with the older generation. On one hand, students receive better education than their parents do(最好不要省). We were taught at school how to distinguish right from wrong(between right and wrong) even when we were very young. On the other hand, with the help of Internet, the new generation has expanded their outlook which makes them more thoughtful when determining their futures.
    All in all, undoubtedly parents wish they could help the children avoid frustration by determining their futures, however(However,这里作副词用，不能连接两个独立句子吧), that is not a good strategy. In my perspective, it is better for them to offer advice instead of compulsion.

用词很丰富啊~观点也很不错~说理也还蛮清晰的~然后一些小细节注意一下就可以啦~