Tancy4月20一战 求指导！

Tancyfox

11 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?
看电视比看书学的多

In present society, people seem more likelyto watch Television rather than read books. For centuries, people increasinglyaccept this kind of pattern which includes texts, pictures, audio and videoprograms. However, with the increasing variety of TV program, one controversialissue gets public’s attention, thus, television and books, which one can helpus learn more.

First and foremost, there is no denyingthat some categories of TV programs can make you get twice the result with halfthe effort. People can not only learn specialized knowledge such as astronomy,geography, literature, history, and agriculture, but also current event,history, medical and health measures. This point is best illustrated with theexample for National Geography, some people may still remember the fascinatedseries Finding Atlantics, and Naked Science: Alien Contac, which bring us lotsof happiness of vision and hearing. Moreover, this kind of TV program allow uslearn without even knowing we are being taught. By mobilized different senses,watching television can always greatly mobilized one’s interest and enthusiasmof study and help people remember knowledge efficiently.

Further, the television not only helppeople learn the academic knowledge, but also provide lessons for social workon daily life. Scene play, crux play, and ethics play, are familiar with mostof us, and they do teach us a lesson that how one should behave in orders toavoid suspicion and unpopularity. As it known to all, many Chinese familyethics plays which regard the family question and demonstrate the familyinterior relationships between people, are truly reflecting the real life. We canlearn many things that we will never learn from the books.

Nevertheless, can books be replaced by television?The answer is no. Profound wisdom of the traditions is always needed in nomatter what age. The author of each book wound his opinions through thisarticle, once you have understood that, you will be benefit a lot from it. The Analectsof Confucius is the case in point. In spite of a thousand years history, itstill has an important position in people’s mind.

Last but not least, reading books have agreat influence on raising people's literary quality. Though the televisionprogram is popular and easy to understand, it undoubtedly lack of profoundcultural heritage. Literary quality is closely related to one’s temperament andaccomplishment, and this is the vital reason for as to read book as well aslearn from them.

Given all the advantages of both types oflearning style, I think people need to choose different way wisely in order tofind the appropriate style for themselves. Whatever study through which form,they can both assist us to improving ourselves.

sylviazhang

Mar 10
Some people claim that, today, mostpeople often make decisions depending on others’ opinion rather than makedecision by themselves(更简洁这样表达). But in fact, as we grow up, we find that no one can replace us by making decision for our life,except ourselves.

First and foremost, the person who persistently thinks that the most people believe their own decisions can be instead of(instead没这样的用法，改成be replaced with吧) othersdecisions tends to be confused by the conception of lfully obeying others’ideas and just listening to others’ advice. （这句话不是很通顺，不知道要表达什么。。。） Listening to other's ideas help us broaden minds,think outside(out of?)the box and explore more possibility from diverse perspectives. Specifically,in present society, most of the managers will adopt the methods, before making final decisions, like brainstorming and group discussion to assist them oflistening to more people’s opinion. However, the final decision is undoubtedlymade by us. More exactly, everyone should determine to abandon something and to obtain another (跟someting搭配不对，maybe用something else), whatever the result is.

Further, somepeople may think when we were(are) children, and (两个完整句子不能用逗号连接，要加连词)parents always made decision for us. Even so, we should admit that whether we need to follow their decisionsisaredepend onus. People keep trying improving(to improve) their independence in their growth, so that thereis no doubt that they more like making (to make)decision by themselves, especially thedecisions are closely related to their life and interests. In that case, how canI believe anyone who want to let others control his fate? (定从标志词不能少 who)

Last but notleast, there is no denying that no parents want their children to become aperson without decision-making ability. Instead, they always expect children torely on themselves. More precisely, they all believe that making decision independentlyis the foundation of gaining successful and facing failure. Without theindependence, how can parents feel relieved for us to facing differentchallenges? The education we accepted (received)teaches us to making decisions for ourselves,that is to say, there won’t be many people who are willing to follow the decisioncompletely making by others.

All in all, I disagreewith the statement that most people often let others make decisions for themrather than make decisions by themselves. Even though there is nothing wrongwith listening to other people’s opinion, these opinions need to become thefinal decision only under our controlling

加强基础语法训练，定从，单复数，固定搭配等

yzwdan818

你13号的作文今天还放上来吗？

yomina

不好意思啊，前两天课巨多刚休息下来。那几天队长拍改作文的日程有点错乱。看你10号已经改过了，我把11号的现在给你改了~抱歉啊~ Mar 11 11 March Independent Writing: Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? 看电视比看书学的多 In present society, people seem more likelyto watch Television（不需要大学） rather than read(ing) books. For centuries(电视也就上世纪才有吧，不能用century), people increasinglyaccept this kind of pattern which includes texts, pictures, audio and videoprograms. However, with the increasing variety of TV program, one controversialissue gets public’s attention, thus, television and books, which one can helpus learn more（问句？语法错误）. First and foremost, there is no denyingthat some categories of TV programs can make you get twice the result with halfthe effort. People can not only learn specialized knowledge such as astronomy,geography, literature, history, and agriculture, but also current event,history, medical and health measures. This point is best illustrated with theexample for National Geography, some people may still remember the fascinatedseries Finding Atlantics, and Naked Science: Alien Contac, which bring us lotsof happiness of vision and hearing. Moreover, this kind of TV program allow uslearn without even knowing we are being taught. By mobilized different senses（主语是看电视，这里和主语搭么？有点别扭。前面就用mobilized了主句又一个mobilized）,watching television can always greatly mobilized one’s interest and enthusiasmof study and help people remember knowledge efficiently. Further, the television not only helppeople learn the academic knowledge, but also provide lessons for social workon daily life. Scene play, crux play, and ethics play, are familiar with mostof us, and they do teach us a lesson that how one should behave in orders toavoid suspicion（suspiciousness） and unpopularity. As it known to all, many Chinese familyethics plays which regard the family question and demonstrate the familyinterior relationships between people, are truly reflecting the real life. We canlearn many things that we will never learn from the books. Nevertheless, can books be replaced by television(直接写tv replace book 不好吗？)?The answer is no. Profound wisdom of the traditions is always needed in nomatter what age. The author of each book wound his opinions through thisarticle, once you have understood that, you will be benefit a lot from it. The Analectsof Confucius is the case in point. In spite of a thousand years history, itstill has an important position in people’s mind. Last but not least, reading books have agreat influence on raising people's literary quality. Though the televisionprogram is popular and easy to understand, it undoubtedly lack of profoundcultural heritage. Literary quality is closely related to one’s temperament andaccomplishment, and this is the vital reason for as（us） to read book as well aslearn from them. Given all the advantages of both types oflearning style, I think people need to choose different way wisely in order tofind the appropriate style for themselves. Whatever study through which form,they can both assist us to improving ourselves. 你现在等于是让大家看优缺点自己取舍，最好还是有一个自己的观点做结尾，即使是各有优缺，也要亮明观点。 总体写的很好哈，有一些行文错误要注意。 好的地方太多了，比如说举例很详实，develop自己的论点一步步深入很有逻辑。还有一些句子的用法很好。 加油！

Tancyfox的签名

Tancyfox

In present society, some people have continuouslystressed the importance of persona independence and focus more on individual’s capability,because of this competition intense society. However, cooperating with otherstend to move remarkably, creatively and comprehensively.  Cooperation substantially boosts productivityand it is the reason why most of today’s companies like to use the team-work toovercome the difficult and enhance efficiency. For theses reason, I agree thatcooperation is increasingly playing a vital role in modern society.

First andforemost, cooperation can extremely expand ideas, thus shortening the time tofind the optimal solution. To fit the competition, there is no denying that theoptimal way will dead you to the best effect. For instance, in ICT projectmanagement, exploring the option is the most important part of feasibilityanalysis. As it is known to all that most of the examples of failure in programmanagement is caused by missing the phase of exploring the option and lacing ofcooperation with the stakeholders. That is, the better quality leads to not onlythe bigger competitive edge but also the higher capability of facing risk. Therefore,cooperation is our preferred method to foster all people ideas and put theminto action in order to achieve collective growth.

Further,cooperation can not only enhance the quality of the work, but also increase theefficiency. Cooperation in a group must have a clear division, and preciselybecause of this reason, the organization has the reliable efficiency. Undoubtedly,it can improve the superiority. For example, to compete for a project bidding, whocan accomplish a best project plan in the shortest time will gain more benefit fortheir teams. Therefore, we cannot emphasize the importance of ensuring efficiencytoo much in this age.

Last but notleast, cooperation as old saying goes, there must be one out of three who canbe your teacher. We can learn from each other during the cooperation, includingcommunication skills, professional knowledge and appropriate behavior in the organization.More precisely, Carly Barton is a classic example. Failure to communicate withher staffs, finally cause his departure from HP. So, efficient cooperation, especiallyeffective communication with others is indispensable.

Granted, bothin the past and present, completion have always been there. Relatively, cooperationhas been an essential anchor as well. However, in today society, cooperationwhich helps people grasp more opportunity to win the competition has various benefitsas list above.  Therefore, cooperation playsa more vital role in the more den society rather than before.

yzwdan818

今晚给你改完13号的

Tancyfox

今晚给你改完13号的

-- by 会员 yzwdan818 (2013/3/18 20:28:43)

三口~万分感谢！！

Tancyfox

IndependentWriting:
Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement?
Modernsociety has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people tohave the ability to plan and organize.

As the modern society become increasinglydiversified and complicated, people have much pressure on honing their abilityof planning and organizing. Some people may question the importance of thesetwo capabilities. But in fact, for today’s young people, the ability to planshows the capability of processing the details. As for the ability to organize,it estimates the summarizing and general capacity. Hence, we cannot emphasizethe importance of developing the ability to plan and organize.

First and foremost, both of these two abilities arecommendably, practically and efficiently for working in today's workplace. Thereis no denying that an increasing number of companies are replaced centralizedsystems by decentralized systems, which means that administers generally tendto empower employees to make decisions and take risks in carrying out their jobroles. More precisely, the company need their employees making their owndecisions rather than follows the public opinion or just obeys orders. In orderto adapt to such a growing situation, young people need to improve their abilityof plan and organize.

Further, systematically working can help people accomplisha task with ease in each kind of situation unflappably. For example, undergraduatestudents need to strategize the method of each subject, that is to say, theycannot spend lots of time on only one course while neglecting other courses. Fora people with the ability of planning and organizing may setting a dailyschedule to help them consciously and methodically work towards positive changewhere they need it most. More exactly, classify the things which need to bedone according to the urgency and importance of the task. Then these tasks canbe processed in the order as the result of the classification. Thus, timemanagement can change your perspective and will allow you to devote more timeto things you'd like to do and not just what you have to do.

Last but not least, it is undoubtedly that planningand organizing help build patience and self-control. More importantly, it isonly through self-discipline that your dreams and goals can be attained. Nowadays,the capability of plan and organize have already become the critical ofassessing the success. For this reason, especially for the young people, nothingis more useful than to develop the ability to plan and organize.

Granted, complicated society is the basic reasonwhich promotes people to hone their ability to plan and organize. However, regardlessof age, people should consciously improve these essential capabilities withoutany external pressure. Therefore, it is indeed necessary for the young peopleto have the ability to plan and organize.

写的有点急了…………赶出来的

yzwdan818

3.13

In present society, some people have continuously stressed the importance of personal independence and focus more on individual’s capability, because of this competition intense society(intensely competitive society). However, cooperating with others tend(s) to move remarkably, creatively and comprehensively. Cooperation substantially boosts productivity and it is the reason why（that） most of today’s companies like to use the team-work(teamwork) to overcome the difficult and enhance efficiency. For theses reasons, I agree that cooperation is increasingly playing a vital role in modern society.

First and foremost, cooperation can extremely expand ideas, thus shortening the time to find the optimal solution. To fit the competition, there is no denying that the optimal way will dead（lead） you to the best effect. For instance, in ICT project management, exploring the option is the most important part of feasibility analysis. As it is known to all that most of the examples of failure in program management is(are) caused by missing the phase of exploring the option and lacking of cooperation with the stakeholders. That is, the better quality leads to not only the bigger competitive edge but also the higher capability of facing risk. Therefore, cooperation is our preferred method to foster all people ideas and put them into action in order to achieve collective growth. (感觉这段话的例子写得很牵强，感觉像是硬凑上去的)

Further, cooperation can not only enhance the quality of the work, but also increase the efficiency. Cooperation in a group must have a clear division, and precisely（副词用得很奇怪）because of this reason, the organization has the reliable efficiency. Undoubtedly, it can improve the superiority. For example, to compete for a project bidding, who can accomplish a best project plan in the shortest time will gain more benefit for their teams. Therefore, we cannot emphasize the importance of ensuring efficiency too much in this age.

Last but not least, cooperation as old saying goes, there must be one out of three who can be your teacher. We can learn from each other during the cooperation, including communication skills, professional knowledge and appropriate behavior in the organization. More precisely, Carly Barton is a classic example. Failure to communicate with her staffs, finally cause his departure from HP. So, efficient cooperation, especially effective communication with others is indispensable.

Granted, both in the past and present, completion have always been there. Relatively, cooperation has been an essential anchor as well. However, in today society, cooperation which helps people grasp more opportunity to win the competition has various benefits as list above. Therefore, cooperation plays a more vital role in the more den society rather than before.

全文很多单词之间没有空格不知道是怎么回事，很多动词单复数的错误，有比较多的单词错误，单词重复率也比较高。段意也比较奇怪，整体看来觉得论证过程不清晰，看得不是很的舒服。建议你先别掐时间，好好写一篇文章，避免这么简单错误。

Tancyfox

3.13

In present society, some people have continuously stressed the importance of personal independence and focus more on individual’s capability, because of this competition intense society(intensely competitive society). However, cooperating with others tend(s) to move remarkably, creatively and comprehensively. Cooperation substantially boosts productivity and it is the reason why（that） most of today’s companies like to use the team-work(teamwork) to overcome the difficult and enhance efficiency. For theses reasons, I agree that cooperation is increasingly playing a vital role in modern society.

First and foremost, cooperation can extremely expand ideas, thus shortening the time to find the optimal solution. To fit the competition, there is no denying that the optimal way will dead（lead） you to the best effect. For instance, in ICT project management, exploring the option is the most important part of feasibility analysis. As it is known to all that most of the examples of failure in program management is(are) caused by missing the phase of exploring the option and lacking of cooperation with the stakeholders. That is, the better quality leads to not only the bigger competitive edge but also the higher capability of facing risk. Therefore, cooperation is our preferred method to foster all people ideas and put them into action in order to achieve collective growth. (感觉这段话的例子写得很牵强，感觉像是硬凑上去的)

Further, cooperation can not only enhance the quality of the work, but also increase the efficiency. Cooperation in a group must have a clear division, and precisely（副词用得很奇怪）because of this reason, the organization has the reliable efficiency. Undoubtedly, it can improve the superiority. For example, to compete for a project bidding, who can accomplish a best project plan in the shortest time will gain more benefit for their teams. Therefore, we cannot emphasize the importance of ensuring efficiency too much in this age.

Last but not least, cooperation as old saying goes, there must be one out of three who can be your teacher. We can learn from each other during the cooperation, including communication skills, professional knowledge and appropriate behavior in the organization. More precisely, Carly Barton is a classic example. Failure to communicate with her staffs, finally cause his departure from HP. So, efficient cooperation, especially effective communication with others is indispensable.

Granted, both in the past and present, completion have always been there. Relatively, cooperation has been an essential anchor as well. However, in today society, cooperation which helps people grasp more opportunity to win the competition has various benefits as list above. Therefore, cooperation plays a more vital role in the more den society rather than before.

全文很多单词之间没有空格不知道是怎么回事，很多动词单复数的错误，有比较多的单词错误，单词重复率也比较高。段意也比较奇怪，整体看来觉得论证过程不清晰，看得不是很的舒服。建议你先别掐时间，好好写一篇文章，避免这么简单错误。

-- by 会员 yzwdan818 (2013/3/18 22:56:44)

我用word写完粘上来就有好多空格丢掉了，我也不知道怎么回事……
我一直都不太清楚例子要怎么举吖， 可不可以给我点建议呢
还有逻辑这个东西……有的时候为了凑3段就显得有点牵强了 不知道有没有什么办法可以改善呢？
还有一个月就考了，我有点捉急我的作文吖 也不知道是应该背范文呢还是怎么办