少壮不努力，老大写作文。洛阳亲友如相问，就说我在写作文。

viviyl

改晚了= =sorry~
An enjoyable vacation is anunforgettable memory in our life, and several factors decide the vacationjointly. An amazing location will provide us some beautiful views and deliciousfood can bring us good moods. When asked about which one impress me most,however, I would like to choose traveling with my good friends. The reasons whyI hold this opinion are listed below.

To start with, friends always share the same interests. It is conceivable thatwe can find a place we both enjoy easily. And even our destination is inconvenient(even the journey is long andboring, inconvenient 在这不大合适), we will still have fun just becausetraveling with friends. Just imagine how wonderful it could be when you areclimbing a mountain which has nearly a right angle, (and)afraidto walk any more, but your friends lend you a hand and encourage you to climbon the top. The cooperation between your trip and the excitement of successwill enhance the friendship, (make you,是人forget不是cooperation forget)forget the nervous and dangerous,as well as (let you 同上)enjoythe scenery that is hardly seen in the city life.

In addition, friends enable the trip much safer if you are faced with someproblems occasionally. They will give you a helping hand in the first time whensome trouble happens to you, and that is what other elements cannot give. Takemy personal experience as an example. When I headed to Xi an with my bestfriend, I got a badly cold during the trip in the midnight. My friend boughtsome medicine for me at once and stayed with me the whole night. I can hardlyimagine how difficult it would be to find an open drug store in the night.Thanks to her patient care, I recovered so quickly that I could enjoy thedelicious food in Xi an.

There is no denying that a good location and food will also bring us somehappiness during vacation, however, good friends could (be) regard(ed) as the basic of theother two factors to some extent(friends是location和food的基础好像有点奇怪= =，说它是happiness的基础应该好一点~). Therefore, sharing thefascinating scenery and delicious food with friends could be a better way forus to remember an unforgettable vacation.

From what has beendiscussed above, we may safely draw a conclusion that traveling with goodfriends contributes on(to) an enjoyable vacationmost. Not only because it will improve(strengthen) the friendships after the experience (of) working out a difficult situation together, butalso because it will be very helpful when faced with(we encounter,补上主语比较好) difficulties that could not (be) fixed alone.(最后一句话好像不是一个完整的句子，not only because…, but also because….而且还木有倒装。建议改成：This is because traveling with friends will not only…but also…)

观点和举例都很好~注意一些小的语法问题更好了~

corneliaflower

4.13  综合  TPO25

The lecture claims that the clay jars that had been excavated indeed proposed that vessel were ancient electric batteries. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates such point is not true.

First, the reading passage believes the absence of some electricity conductors means the vessels were not ancient batteries. However, as the speaker says, no evidence to show that the conductors are existed will prove nothing. Since the ancient people are not specialists, they may found metal wires or other conductive materials but threw them away after use just because lacking of knowledge about the function of these materials.

The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage concerns that the purpose of copper cylinders. The lecture cast doubt on the statement that copper cylinder was used for holding scrolls. Just as one thing created for one purpose, whereas used for another. It is of highly possibility that the copper cylinder was designed to hold scrolls at first but used to generate electricity later.

Finally, according to the reading passage, there is no use for ancient people to have electricity. The listening material, in contrast, thought there are at least two functions electricity can provide. First, you could show your magic power by touching the batteries, which would shocking in miles. And second, it could be used for healing, such as reducing the pain, in medical area just as the doctors do nowadays.

Consequently, the contents displayed in the reading passage are entirely rejected by the lecture.

sherlock1992

corneliaflower 发表于 2013-4-13 22:55
4.13  综合  TPO25

The lecture claims that the clay jars that had been excavated indeed proposed tha ...

The lecture claims that the clay jars that had been excavated （这一部分我更偏向于用一般过去时）indeed proposed (这里的主语是jars吗？感觉proposed在这里用的不是太舒服）that vessel (the vessels)were ancient electric batteries. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates such point is not true.(直接contradict points of reading passage就行了，感觉not ture有些重复）

First, the reading passage believes the absence of some electricity conductors means the vessels were not ancient batteries. However, as the speaker says, no evidence to show that the conductors are (去掉are,另外感觉这还像是read passage的观点）existed will prove nothing. Since the ancient people are not specialists, they may found metal wires or other conductive materials but threw them away after use just because lacking of knowledge about the function of these materials.

The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage concerns that (去掉that)the purpose of copper cylinders. The lecture casts doubt on the statement that copper cylinder was used for holding scrolls. Just as one thing created for one purpose, whereas used for another. It is of highly possibility that the copper cylinder was designed to hold scrolls at first but used to generate electricity later.

Finally, according to the reading passage, there is no use for ancient people to have electricity. The listening material, in contrast, thought there are at least two functions electricity can provide. First, you could(这里为什么要用could？还想没有语气婉转或虚拟吧？） show your magic power by touching the batteries, which would shocking in miles.(这是什么意思？） And second, it could be used for healing, such as reducing the pain, in medical area just as the doctors do nowadays.

Consequently, the contents displayed in the reading passage are entirely rejected by the lecture.

corneliaflower

8/27 第一个理由段之前有看过老师推荐的一个理由和例子，就直接拿过来用啦。然后我想知道二次世界大战那个2在作文里要怎么打啊？

Agree or disagree: to solve the problem of present and future, it is necessary to understand the past.

There has been a heated discussion as to whether it is necessary for people to review the past when faced with problems at present and in the future. Some supporters suggest that the past could equip us with easy access to solutions. However, others remain unconvinced of its merits, retorting that some unintended backlash might occur as the experience from history could not work any more nowadays. When I take a moment to reflect this issue, I am still a big voter for the opinion that we have every reason to understand the past in order to solve the puzzles of present and future.  

To begin with, reviewing the past can let us evade some stupid mistakes. Since people have paid tremendous price for mistakes in the past, looking back at the history is bound to avoid the same tragedy repeating in the future. An illustrating example is the World War 2. Thousands of millions people suffered the unprecedented human catastrophe, which thoroughly changed the face of the world. For instance,the radiation of the atomic bombs thrown on the Japanese land even brings hazard to people's health right now. Therefore, through this painful lesson, people place a high value on the importance of peace and cherish the cooperation among countries now. As a result reviewing the past can prevent the mistakes from repeating in the future.

What is more, understanding the past is beneficial for us to reach the bank of new findings. There is no denying that all the wisdom and experiences are concealed in the flow of the history, those knowledges could indeed give people some insights to solve problems. Let me raise a tangible example to break down this abstract statement. Albert Einstein proposed the theory of relativity on the foundation of Mathematics and Maxwell's equation. Because of those elite's theories in the past, Einstein could make the great contribution nowadays. And the field of science is progressed accordingly. Thus understanding the past can trigger the emergence new discoveries.

Admittedly, we could easily become disoriented in the huge sea of information when we look back at the history. In addition, some useful experiences at that time may not functional at present and in the future. Reviewing the past, however, is just a process that discarding the old-fashioned things and preserving the rests. If we split carefully, the advantages will far more outweigh the disadvantages.

To sum up, based on what have already been mentioned above, I am quite favorable in terms of understanding the past. Although some shortcomings might be taken into consideration, we should not ignore the colossal fruits that reviewing the past offers.

corneliaflower

TPO21

The reading passage takes issue with the professor on whether genetic modified trees are beneficial or not. The article states that since the genes have been changed, the modified trees will bring significant advantages. However, the professor remains unconvinced of its merits, retorting that there are still some serious problems concealed.

First of all, the essay reckons that genetic modified trees are more likely to survive. A counter-argument is soon being raised by the lecturer. Since the genes of genetic modified trees are less diverse, if one tree expose to threatens, like climate changes or pests, all of them will die out. Therefore, it is quite compelling to say the resistance to one virus do not constitute a valid argument.

Moreover, genetic modified trees will promote the economic growth, as argued by the reading passage. On the contrary, the lecturer suspects this statement. Retorting by saying that although genetic modified trees yield greater, their costs increase accordingly. You have not only spend more money on the seeds but also pay to the company every time you plant.

Last but not least, the article suggests that genetic modified trees can prevent overexploitation of wild trees. Another evidence is raised by the professor to oppose this point. Because genetic modified trees also need sunshine, water and nutrients, planting them actually raises a fierce competition and threatens the native trees. Such influence clearly contradicts what is enjoyed by genetic modified trees.

To sum up, based on what has been described above, the professor precisely identifies the weakness for the opinion that genetic modified trees have more advantages than natural trees on the basis of the counter points mentioned before.

倾海比目鱼

作文不敢谈修改，因为比我写得好很多。只能学习

corneliaflower

倾海比目鱼 发表于 2013-8-28 19:22
作文不敢谈修改，因为比我写得好很多。只能学习

那个是要加of哦~~ 我漏了。
我一般是第一段和最后一段会背一些比较好的模板，中间就不会啦。不过好句子背多了真的就可以信手拈来了呢，我其实一战作文也不是很好的，在努力提高中！

laneesherry

TPO21

The reading passage takes issue with the professor on whether genetic modified trees are beneficial or not. The article states that since the genes have been changed, the modified trees will bring significant advantages. However, the professor remains unconvinced of its merits, retorting that there are still some serious problems concealed.

First of all, the essay reckons that genetic modified trees are more likely to survive. A counter-argument is soon being raised by the lecturer. Since the genes of genetic modified trees are less diverse, if one tree expose to threatens, like climate changes or pests, all of them will die out. Therefore, it is quite compelling to say the resistance to one virus do not constitute a valid argument.

Moreover, genetic modified trees will promote the economic growth, as argued by the reading passage. On the contrary, the lecturer suspects this statement. Retorting by saying that although genetic modified trees yield greater, their costs increase accordingly. You have not only spend more money on the seeds but also pay to the company every time you plant.

Last but not least, the article suggests that genetic modified trees can prevent overexploitation of wild trees. Another evidence is raised by the professor to oppose this point. Because genetic modified trees also need sunshine, water and nutrients, planting them actually raises a fierce competition and threatens the native trees. Such influence clearly contradicts what is enjoyed by genetic modified trees.

To sum up, based on what has been described above, the professor precisely identifies the weakness for the opinion that genetic modified trees have more advantages than natural trees on the basis of the counter points mentioned before.

实在是不知道该怎么改了。。。
本文应该有的点已经全部写出来，语言表述也富于多样，已经是一篇非常好的作文了，请继续加油~