求狠批，求互改

brace1016

20号的综合
TPO15
In the lecture, the professor states that the methods in reading passage will not be successful. And she uses specific points to illustrate it.

First of all, according to the professor in the listening, the fence cannot stop the cane toad to spread to other places. Since the cane toads laid their eggs in the river and steams, the water will flow one side to anther and the waterway bring the eggs to many other place. Thus the fence is not effective to prevent the cane toads to spread. However, this directly challenges the statement demonstrated in the reading passages that building a national fence can block the movement of the cane toad.

Furthermore, the speaker argues that even though same volunteers can catch the cane toad. But the volunteers are not well trained. They may do harm to the native frogs and bring other environmental issue to the native ecological system. This make the campaign in the reading is indefensible and ineffective to control the population of the cane toad.

Finally, the lecturer point out that disease-causing virus is a bad idea for the environment. It will bring negative effect to the habitat of the whole cane toad. For instance, some researchers or collectors may bring the virus from Australia to America, where cane toad is a native species. The virus will destroy the cane toad in the America, thus affecting the whole ecology system and environment. This makes the virus method unconvincing.

In sum, the methods in the reading passage are totally refuted by the speaker, who uses three specific points to weaken the argument in the reading.

lizchang1990

LZ写作真的很快~ 哈哈,鼓励!!!

The internet and social media（这个media其实很大了,前面就不要加这些词了，加个mass吧。） have brought us the news of young people helping others. We are informed everyday(这词连在一块是形容词,拆开写) that the teenagers in high school found a tutor centre for primary school students, that the business school students hold a donation event(hold后面接个activities吧,你这个event不好) to improve the level of medical care for senior citizen in the rural area, and that many graduates relinquish high pay in the cities to teach in the rural areas. All these new (加个s)tell us that young people today are more willing to help others. There are many factors to explain for(去掉for) the phenomenon.

First of all, education teenagers received (动词一)today has (谓语二,这句话有语病)played a vital role on young people’s growth, thus increasing the awareness of helping others. In primary school children learned that helping others can make them to be popular guys. For instance, in my country, teachers usually told the story of Lei Feng, who was always willing to help others, to students and used(to 后面你这句话不觉得还差点什么么?就是and跟前面感觉脱节了阿,句意模糊,有点语病) him as a model to encourage children to help others. Thus, many young people firmly built the sense of helping others during their growth .However, hundreds years ago, people didn’t get enough education when they were children. As a result, when they grow up they weren’t more likely to help the other people. Thanks to the society development, today most countries in the world have taken more and more attentions to public education. Public education, such as elementary education, can teach young people how to be a good person. Helping each other is one of the most important behaviors that teachers need their students to learn. So it is more likely that young people will help not only their friends but also other strangers now.
(观点很新颖,不错从public education来说~)

Another major reason is that the young are enthusiastic about sharing information and experience with others. The high technology enables young people to share information and help other easily. The young not only like to share information and experience in the internet but also get this information in residential areas. For instance, the college students who major in computer sciences like to organize activities to help residents to learn about the knowledge of computers especially for senior citizens. They share their knowledge they have learned and put into practice. This activity let them realize their value of the society .More and more young people join in groups to do such meaningful things.
(这段很不错,念完感觉比上段的表达好很多,没有不地道的句型出现)

Last but not least, the modern society advocates (其实用营造create更好,)a harmonious and friendly atmosphere in which each member should be helpful and united. This atmosphere facilitates young people to help others. Some organizations even reward the young people who are brave to help others when others are in danger. For instance, the official with the civil affairs bureau in my city recently reward twenty thousand to the young guy who dived into the river to save a drowning child. When the event broadcast in the local news channel, more and more young people are inspired to help others in the daily life.

In conclusion, the increasing role of public education in people’s growth, the young people’s enthusiastic about sharing information and experience with others and the encourage of government make the claim that young people today are more willing to help others than young people in the past. Helping with(去掉with) each other, indeed, could make the world more beautiful and colorful.
(结尾很好,有积极意义,不错)
点评:总体来说,后面写的比前面好很多,语病出现很少,段落间还是能看出LZ有些词拿捏不准,记得只写你有把握的,不要写你认为好像是的句子出来. 观点很清晰,语言能把握好,会进步飞速的~

lizchang1990

TPO15
In the lecture, the professor states that the methods in reading passage will not be successful. And she uses specific points to illustrate it.

First of all, according to the professor in the listening, the fence cannot stop the cane toad to spread to other places. Since the cane toads laid their eggs in the river and steams, the water will flow one side to anther and the waterway bring the eggs to many other place. Thus the fence is not effective to prevent the cane toads to spread. However, this directly challenges the statement demonstrated in the reading passages that building a national fence can block the movement of the cane toad.

Furthermore, the speaker argues that even though(这个词你用一个句子就结束它?后面肯定要接个句子的,要形成对比的,否则错了) same volunteers can catch the cane toad. But the volunteers are not well trained. They may do harm to the native frogs and bring other environmental issue to the native ecological system. This make the campaign in the reading is indefensible and ineffective to control the population of the cane toad.

Finally, the lecturer point(用单三,加s) out that disease-causing virus is a bad idea for the environment. It will bring negative effect to the habitat of the whole cane toad. For instance, some researchers or collectors may bring the virus from Australia to America, where cane toad is a native species. The virus will destroy the cane toad in the America, thus affecting the whole ecology system and environment. This makes the virus method unconvincing.

In sum, the methods in the reading passage are totally refuted by the speaker, who uses three specific points to weaken the argument in the reading.

哇喔,你综合写的不错,比起独立,这个你可以拿good了,语言通畅,信息准确. 你这模板真心觉得不错!

brace1016

22 December
Independent Writing: Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends. a. joing a sports team, b. participate in community activities, or traveling。
Integrated Writing: TPO17

brace1016

TPO17 综合
In the lecture, the professor states that the argument in the reading passage is unconvincing. And she uses three specific points to cast doubt in the reading passage.

First of all, according to the listening material, the professor argues that as the human population increased, human indeed need more land to settle, but human also created better larger area for birds to habitat. For instance, there are many eagles and pigpens in the city streets. Human civilization provides habitats for some birds. The population of some birds indeed decreases, but others birds’ population increase as the same time. Thus the argument in reading is unconvincing that the total birds' populations decrease.

Furthermore, contrary to the belief in the reading that the more and more land will use to develop agriculture in order to need the demand of increasing human population, the speaker assorts that in the future less and less lands use to grow crops. Since people invent new crops, which are very productive to feed more people. Thus, more and more lands uses for the habitats of birds.

Finally, the lecturer points out that the chemical pesticides do less harm for the birds in the future. On the one hand, people can invent less toxic pesticides. On the other hand, human can grow insect resistant crop to produce food. And the chemical pesticides will use less and less in the future. Thus the birds destroyed by the chemical pesticides will reduce. The birds' population cannot decrease.

In sum, the statements in reading passage are totally jeopardized by the speaker, who uses three points to weaken the argument.

brace1016

22号的独立。没有限时写，写了差不多2个小时，这个效率和速度真的蜗牛

The rich and colorful campus life involves having a lot of friends. An increasing number of students are beginning to realize that making friends becomes an important lessen they have to learn in the school. Despite various responses students may have on the topic concerning which way is best to make a new friend, joining a sports team, participating in community activity or travelling. From my perspective, the best way for students to make a new friend is joining a sport team. On the one hand, doing sport is so popular for students and it enables students to have more chances to communicate with the new friend. On the other hand, the sport team can help students to develop their friendship easily. In this way, they can get along with the new friend well and the friendship will last long.

First of all, doing sport is so popular in the campus that it provides students to make a new friend with the same interesting. Students with same interesting have many topics to talk, thus increasing better understanding with each others. Understanding each other better helps the friendship last for a long time. Thus joining a sport team is the best way to make friends for students. For instance, when I was a freshman, I joined in a badminton team. All the team members are crazy about playing badminton. We often talk about the strategy and skills when we play the badminton together. We discuss our strengths and weaknesses during the practice to help each other to improve the skills. Helping each other seems to be beneficial to friendship, making it stronger and longer lasting.

Furthermore, sporting team provides students more opportunities to communicate with the new friends, which is beneficial for the development of friendship. Because of regular training every week, students could have fix time to get long with the new friend, while they don’t have time to do so during the community activities or travelling. Through the conversation or cooperation, students could have opportunities to make good impression each other, which have a positive on the promotion of the friendship. For instance, during the cooperation to win the game, students could combine their efforts with friends and care about each other. When they win, they share the delight together and the sweet memory help to strengthen their friendship.

Admittedly, students can make new friends by participating community activities or traveling. But the acquaintance of someone during the journey cannot develop the friendship for a long time. We have limited time to know more about each other. The brief communication on the play, which results in the establishment of new friendship, cannot enable us to form a long time friendship. Thus thank to the frequent meet, it is more suitable to make new friends through a sport team, when comparing with the way of participating in community activity or traveling.

In sum, the benefits students got from a sport team making friends can never be overstated. Joining a sport team can not only make a friend with the same interesting, but also develop the friendship for a long time. Therefore, in order to make more friends, students should choose to join a sport team when facing the three choices.

brace1016

补上21号的作文
21 December
Independent Writing:  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To increase economic growth, government can neglect environmental concerns.
Integrated Writing: TPO 16
这个独立我查了下，感觉和20120323NA的题目有点出入。我按别的版本写哦，
20120323NA:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.

lizchang1990

The rich and colorful campus life involves having a lot of friends. An increasing number of students are beginning to realize that making friends becomes an important lessen(小粗心哦,lesson) they have to learn in the school. Despite various responses students may have on the topic concerning which way is best to make a new friend, joining a sports team, participating in community activity or travelling. From my perspective, the best way for students to make a new friend is joining a sport team. On the one hand, doing sport is so popular for students and it enables students to have more chances to communicate with the new friend. On the other hand, the sport team can help students to develop their friendship easily. In this way, they can get along with the new friend well and the friendship will last long.
这段写得不错,但作为开头,你写得还是特长了点,后面的理由不妨放到后面来详细阐述,首段表达你的观点就OK.纯属个人之见.


First of all, doing sport is so popular in the campus that it provides students (加a chance)to make a new friend with the same interesting. Students with same interesting (换词, similar hobbies也OK阿)have many topics to talk, thus increasing better understanding with each others. Understanding each other better helps the friendship last for a long time. Thus joining a sport team is the best way to make friends for students. For instance, when I was a freshman, I joined in a badminton team. All the team members are crazy about playing badminton. We often talk about the strategy and skills when we play the badminton together. We discuss(注意下前后时态哦) our strengths and weaknesses during the practice to help each other to improve the skills. Helping each other seems to be beneficial to friendship, making it stronger and longer lasting.(不知道这个对不对,建议用last longer)

Furthermore, sporting team provides students more opportunities to communicate with the new friends, which is beneficial for the development of friendship. Because of regular training every week, students could have fix time to get long with the new friend, while they don’t have time to do so during the community activities or travelling. Through the conversation or cooperation, students could have opportunities to make good impression each other, which have a positive on the promotion of the friendship. For instance, during the cooperation to win the game, students could combine their efforts with friends and care about each other. When they win, they share the delight together and the sweet memory help to strengthen their friendship.

Admittedly, students can make new friends by participating community activities or traveling.(受教了,这种反驳发很好,更能支撑你的观点,呵呵) But the acquaintance of someone during the journey cannot develop the friendship for a long time. We have limited time to know more about each other. The brief communication on the play, which results in the establishment of new friendship, cannot enable us to form a long time(也可以换个term,免得重复) friendship. Thus thank to the frequent meet, it is more suitable to make new friends through a sport team, when comparing with the way of participating in community activity or traveling.

In sum, the benefits students got from a sport team making friends can never be overstated. Joining a sport team can not only make a friend with the same interesting, but also develop the friendship for a long time. Therefore, in order to make more friends, students should choose to join a sport team when facing the three choices.



综合点评: 语言功底深厚,看得出词汇运用自如,很不错. 最后点受教了! 值得学习~

lizchang1990

TPO17 综合
In the lecture, the professor states that the argument in the reading passage is unconvincing. And she uses three specific points to cast doubt in the reading passage.

First of all, according to the listening material, the professor argues that as the human population increased, human indeed need more land to settle, (为啥在这话中间来点评呢?感觉你前面这个argue不清楚argue到哪打止,你至少得找个句话结束下,再来阐述prf的观点哦~)but human also created better larger area for birds to habitat. For instance, there are many eagles and pigpens(哈哈,我没写对~) in the city streets. Human civilization provides habitats for some birds. The population of some birds indeed decreases, but others birds’ population increase as the same time. Thus the argument in reading is unconvincing that the total birds' populations decrease.

Furthermore, contrary to the belief in the reading that the more and more land will (be used)use to develop agriculture in order to need the demand of increasing human population, the speaker assorts that in the future less and less lands (用被动哦)use to grow crops. Since people invent new crops, which are very productive to feed more people. Thus, more and more lands uses for the habitats of birds.

Finally, the lecturer points out that the chemical pesticides do less harm for the birds in the future. On the one hand, people can invent less toxic pesticides. On the other hand, human can grow insect resistant crop to produce food. And the chemical pesticides will use less and less in the future. Thus the birds destroyed by the chemical pesticides will reduce. The birds' population cannot (建议用won’t吧,cannon强硬了点,细细体味下哈~)decrease.

In sum, the statements in reading passage are totally jeopardized by the speaker, who uses three points to weaken the argument.(结尾不错)

brace1016

23号的是21号的独立。请23号改的同学改这篇哦。
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.

The last decades have witnessed the dramatically economic growth. At the same time, we also hear the news that water pollution kills millions of villagers in the countryside. It is well know that environmental protection and economic development are all vital to us, because people cannot live a superior life without a good living environment. But we can not keep a balance between them. Especially at recent day, we have found that our surroundings are going from bad to worse due to economic development. Consequently, I argue that the administration should dedicate more money to the environmental protection rather than to economic progress.







Fundamentally, environmental protection costs more money than economic development. Experience tells us that humans can quickly wreck the natural environment, but repairing it is a long, arduous process. For instance, the government has to invest huge amount of money to purchase trees and hire more people to afforest the barren land. Besides, maintaining a big area is quite costly. What is more, government also invests more money on research of developing green renewable energy, which may replace the fossil fuels and contrite greatly to the environmental protection. In contrast, economic development does not need such large amount of money. What the government should do is to continuously carry out policies that can really help boost the whole economy and supervise and guide every individual economic participant. These will be some tasks that require less money.







Subsequently, no individual has enough money and power to impede the fatal threat to the environment, thus the government should not deny the necessary responsibility to protect the environment. It is the government that has to pay more money to protect our environment, because government acquisition of goods and services intended to create future benefits. Environment protection exerts long-term influences upon human beings and economic development. For example, protecting forests means we can have better air condition and more lumber supply in the future; protecting lakes and oceans means we can have cleaner water and more seafood. Both lumbers and water are crucial to the modern industry. However, it is barely possible for an individual investor to donate enough his income or savings to protect natural environment and consider the long-term merits instead of their own short-term payback



Admittedly, investing on economic development brings many benefits. It can make us more prosperous so that we can afford a great variety of merchandise. Additionally, it will aid the government to reduce the unemployment rate. However,no county in history has emerged as a major industrial power without creating a legacy environmental damage that can take decades and big dollops of public wealth to undo. Thus, I believe that preserve the environment is more fundamental. Otherwise, we will not be fine any more, not to mention relaxation, entertainment and so on. Therefore, government should expend more funds on protecting the environment.







Considering all the analysis above, I can safely come tothe conclusion that the government must focus its budgets more on ecological conservation rather than on economic advancement. Only in this way, can environment keep pace with the human and promote the advancement of the economy.