ISSUE处女作求拍 望指点需要向哪些方向改进

biktop

题目：As people rely more and more on technology, the ability of human to think for themself will surely deteriorate.



正文：
I strongly disagree with the claim that technology will always deteriorate the ability of thinking of humankind, because it preclude the benefit and positive effects that technology bring to us and encourage us to think more deeply and extensively.
With the advanced development of technology in 21th century, people in modern society take great advantage from its widespread benefits. Nowadays people even don't need to go to work in the office and just summit their works through email in their own homes, but they also become more inert and instead of figure out a solution to problem, they mostly choose to find the answers in Google. In addition, it becomes a common phenomenon that computer programmers feel more comfortable to copy the codes which are shared on the internet and gradually they lose the ability to think and write some original codes. So if the sharing mode of internet didn't exist, the programmers may have no choice but to think with their own brain and create some unique and useful algorithms. So we will be more capable of solving problems and even improve IQ in the same progress that apes have experienced to increase the capacity of brain by using more of their hands in the evolution toward human.
However, we can never make a conclusion that technology deteriorate the ability of thinking by simply list some disadvantages. Technology indeed liberate people all over the world from hard labor and spare more time for human to think about other things that are more valuable. That's why we make such a unprecedented achievement in the past 100 years. For instance, in the age of the computer revolution, we are manumitted from the hard calculation that cost several hours by hands and with all these advanced tools that technology brought to us, people now can think more deeply without any burden from the hard calculation, so technology make it easier for scientist to do some scientific research. On the other hand, great thinking and ideas can't be made out without sharing and reproducing. Again it's technology that promote the process of thinking and sharing on the online websites like the non-profit organization TED and people now can comment and debate over some controversial issues instead of going to the cafe house in 18th century.
So it's fairly difficult to over-generalize that technology improve or deteriorate the ability of thinking. It actually depends on how people use the tools of technology to do something for their own lives. They will make their own choices to just copy the works of other people or sharing and thinking more to create some fantastic new ideas.

竹林中人

I strongly disagreewith the claim that technology will always deteriorate the ability of thinkingof humankind, because it preclude the benefit and positive effects thattechnology bring to us and encourage us to think more deeply and extensively.
With the advanced development oftechnology in 21st century, people in modern society takegreat advantage from its widespread benefits. Nowadays people even don't needto go to work in the office and just summit their works through email in theirown homes, but they also become more inert and instead of figuring out a solution to problem, they mostly chooseto find the answers in Google. In addition, it becomes a common phenomenon thatcomputer programmers feel more comfortable to copy the codes which are sharedon the internet and gradually they lose the ability to think and write someoriginal codes. So if the sharing mode of internet didn't exist, theprogrammers may have no choice but to think with their own brain and createsome unique and useful algorithms. So we will be more capable of solvingproblems and even improve IQ in the same progress that apes have experienced toincrease the capacity of brain by using more of their hands in the evolutiontoward human.
However, we can never make a conclusionthat technology deteriorates the ability of thinking by simply listsome disadvantages. Technology indeed liberate people all over the world fromhard labor and spare more time for human to think about other things that aremore valuable. That's why we make such a unprecedented achievement in the past100 years. For instance, in the age of the computer revolution, we aremanumitted from the hard calculation that cost several hours by hands and withall these advanced tools that technology brought to us, people now can thinkmore deeply without any burden from the hard calculation, so technology make iteasier for scientist to do some scientific research. On the other hand, greatthinking and ideas can't be made out without sharing and reproducing. Againit's technology that promotes the process of thinking and sharing on the onlinewebsites like the non-profit organization TED and people now can comment anddebate over some controversial issues instead of going to the cafe house in 18th century.
So it's fairly difficult toover-generalize that technology improves or deteriorate the ability ofthinking. It actually depends on how people use the tools of technology to dosomething for their own lives. Theywill make their own choices to just copy the works of other people or sharingand thinking more to create some fantastic new ideas.感觉你一直只是围绕着计算机说
如果能多考虑点，比如科技的好处，包括交通的便利，通信方式的快捷，代替人的重复性的大量劳动等，而坏处，包括一些人沉溺于网络，简单快捷的复制粘贴，问答搜索代替自己思考等，而最终落脚点在科技不能创造性的思考，尤其是那些处于科技前沿的学者。

biktop

谢谢版主的建议，因为自己是学EE的，的确思路比较狭窄都写到计算机上去了，还有许多地方要改进