第一次加入小分队，求批！

mia1201

11月22日
独立:同不同意：现在的年轻人比过去的年轻人跟乐于帮助人？

In China, thegovernment has set a strict rule that most families can only have no more thanone child in order to control the country’s population. As a result, most of thepost-80s and post-90s generation do not have siblings due to this policy. Theyare the only child in the family, enjoying all the love of parents andgrandparents. Thus they are usually labeled as selfish and indifferent by themedia. Some critiques are that youngsters from this generation have been so heavilyspoiled that then tend to care less for others and are less willing to helpother people than youngsters in the past generations who often have severalsiblings and are willing to share and help with each other. From myperspective, I strongly disagree with this opinion. As a matter of fact, due tothe convenience brought by the development of science and technology and the developmentof education young people nowadays are glad to render help to others.

To begin with, therapid development of technology enables people to communicate more easily thanever before. Therefore they can immediately get in touch with others and helpeach other without using too much time. Young people are often quick learners onnew technology and they are inclined to use innovative devices like tablets andsmartphones to instantly communicate with their friends. Once they need help,they can use various tools, like email, Skype, social network sites, to turn totheir friends who are always there to help. For example, several weeks ago Iwas preparing for a presentation on war studies. Since I major in ManagementInformation System, rarely have I learned about war philosophies. I don’t have anyclue about this so I posted on the social network site saying that “does anyoneknow about war studies? Please help”. A few minutes later, my friends repliedme with useful information about war histories with links attached and recommendedseveral books written by some of the greatest philosophers who studied on wars.With their instant help, I saved a lot of time and fully prepared for mypresentation. I can’t imagine what I could do without the help of my friendsand the Internet.

Moreover, thedevelopment of education provides more youngsters with chances to go to school.Alone as many young people without siblings at home, they have many classmatesin school. As people’s concern is mounting over the importance of cooperationin both schools and workplaces, teachers always emphasize the importance ofcooperation in class and accordingly assign the students to work together forgroup assignments in order to cultivate them to work as a team. During thisprocess, young people can acquire the skills to effectively cooperate withothers and enjoy benefit of helping with each other. Consequently they are morereadily available to help others thus leading to a win-win situation.

Admittedly,youngsters in the past generations have more siblings in the family and grow tolearn to share and help with each other. They might realize that it is ofnecessity and importance to help others at an early age. Nevertheless, with goodtrainings in schools and the convenience brought by new technologies, Youngpeople nowadays actually tend to help others more willingly and more easily.

mia1201

貌似从WORD复制过来后很多空格都没了？？？

晨依Jacqueline

22号的已经分过组咯！每天一定要在晚上10点以前占座哈~至于粘贴的问题，你可以点「编辑帖子」上面出现一个类似word的小图标，然后复制你之前的word里面内容贴上就好！
期待一起进步~~

mia1201

好的，谢谢！
另，我是分组以后才写的呀，是要独立发帖然后把链接粘过去？

晨依Jacqueline

是在你这个帖子写作文啦，如果你想写当天的作业可以先在〈大本营〉帖子里面回复日期类型占座，保证能分到组，然后写完了再把链接编辑到你"占座"的那个地方就好啦~

mia1201

好的，可是另外一个互改的童鞋还木有传上来。。。。。

mia1201

11月23
独立 Agree or disagree: it is impossible tobe completely honest with your friend.
As science and technology develops, thereexist various channels such as email and social media through which we cancommunicate with our friends easily. Some people might be right to think thatwith the great convenience brought by new technologies we can instantly get intouch with our friends, thus we can tell everything to them. Meanwhile, otherpeople who are strongly opposed to it hold that in spite of certain personalsecrets we want to keep within ourselves not telling anyone it is still impossiblefor us to be completely honest with our friends due to barriers of timeconflicts and long distance.


First, it is not rare to see that even twofriends living in the same city often have different schedules, resulting inthe fact that they don’t always have time for the other to share their livestogether. Furthermore, the pace of our life in today’s world grows ever faster.We seem forever on the go. With so much to do and so little time to do it in,how are we to cope? When we were frustrated with heavy-loaded work, we wouldturn to our friends hoping they could offer some comfort. However, they mightnot always be available when we contact them. For example, several weeks ago afterhaving a terrible quarrel with my boyfriend, I was really upset and apprehensiveof our relationship. I called my best friend Rachel only to know that she wasbusy preparing a presentation for tomorrow’s meeting with an importantcustomer. I changed my mind and decided not to bother her with my trouble. Sincemost people are under so much pressure nowadays that time conflicts make itimpossible for us to be fully honest with our friends.

Second, long distance is another essentialfactor which prevents us from being completely honest with our friends. Thoughmerits are the convenience of communication brought by new technologies such asFacebook and Twitter, these cannot actually offset the trouble brought by longdistance. Admittedly, we can instantly get in touch with our friends online. Inmost cases our friends who are geographically far away cannot help us when weneed them, leading to the result that we often choose not to tell them thetrouble we are suffering since we do not want to make it a burden for them. Mycousin would be a good case in point. She and I grow up together and we’re verygood friends. We told each other everything until we went to differentuniversities in different cities. Last winter holiday when I went back home, mymother told me that my cousin was terribly ill and had been staying in hospitalfor two weeks. I was astonished that I didn’t know anything about this. I wentto see her immediately and she told me the reason she asked our families not totell me was that it would waste too much time if I went back homo and she didn’twant me distracted from my study. I felt so guilty that I failed to stay withher when she needed me the most.

Though honesty makes true friends, it isdifficult for us to be fully honest with our friends. It is not us that don’twant to be honest. It is all these difficulties brought by time conflicts andlong distance that prevent us from doing so.

pennywu20

In China, thegovernment has set a strict rule that most families can only have no more thanone child in order to control the country’s population.（可以直接用birth control policy 表达更简洁） As a result, most of thepost-80s and post-90s generation do not have siblings due to this policy. Theyare the only child in the family, enjoying all the love of parents andgrandparents. Thus they are usually labeled as selfish and indifferent by the media. Some critiques are that youngsters from this generation have been so heavilyspoiled that then tend to care less for others and are less willing to helpother people than youngsters in the past generations who often have several siblings and are willing to share and help with each other. From myperspective, I strongly disagree with this opinion. As a matter of fact, due to the convenience brought by the development of science and technology and the development of education（加标点，）young people nowadays are glad to render help to others.

To begin with, the rapid development of technology enables people to communicate more easily than ever before. Therefore they can immediately get in touch with others and help each other without using too much time. Young people are often quick learners on new technology and they are inclined to use innovative devices like tablets and smart phones to instantly communicate with their friends. Once they need help,they can use various tools, like email, Skype, social network sites, to turn totheir friends who are always there to help. For example, several weeks ago I was preparing for a presentation on war studies. Since I major in Management Information System, rarely have I learned about war philosophies.（这里倒装用法有点奇怪) I don’t （did not）have any clue about this so I posted on the social network site saying that “does anyone know about war studies? Please help”. A few minutes later, my friends replied me with useful information about war histories with links attached and recommended several books written by some of the greatest philosophers who studied on wars.With their instant help, I saved a lot of time and fully prepared for my presentation. I can’t imagine what I could do without the help of my friends and the Internet.

Moreover, the development （修改一下development避免重复）of education provides more youngsters with chances to go to school.Alone as many young people without siblings at home, they have many classmates in school. As people’s concern is mounting over the importance of cooperationin both schools and workplaces, teachers always emphasize the importance of cooperation in class and accordingly assign the students to work together for group assignments in order to cultivate them to work as a team. During this process, young people can acquire the skills to effectively cooperate with others and enjoy benefit of helping with each other. Consequently they are more readily available to help others thus leading to a win-win situation.

Admittedly,youngsters in the past generations have more siblings in the family and grow to learn to share and help with each other. They might realize that it is of necessity and importance to help others at an early age. Nevertheless, with good trainings in schools and the convenience brought by new technologies, Young people nowadays actually tend to help others more willingly and more easily.读下来有以下感受：         1.语言没大问题
                            2.作者极少数句子过长，要注意断句哦~比如标红色的那句，虽然不能说错，但是我至少读了两分钟
                                  3.points development还要改善一下，比如eduction那段，说可以group study使youngpeople学会帮助不是那么convincing，这一点好像是建立在楼主，没有sibling导致indifferent的assumption上的。注意一下 啦。也可能是我太控逻辑了，说的不对的可以不用管哈~
一点拙见请海涵

mia1201

谢谢修改！（修改一下development避免重复）是否有更好的建议？

verchieldan

请问你11.23的是不是写错啦？不是JOB那个吗？