issue 127处女作， 水平差求拍

byhdhr123

127. The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general well-being of all its people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
 Does the surest indicator of a great nation is the well-being of its people?The claim says yes,but I don't totally agree with it.Surely,well-being of the people in the country is important for us to evaluate a great nation,but the more necessary indicator is the achievement of its rulers,scientist and artist.
 Admittedly,,I must concede that wee-being of all its people is crucial to a great nation and it is a indicator to some extent.Among any nation,despite what it achieve,what it is considered by contemporaries,without well-being and ingenuousness of its people,or without assiduous labor of its workforce,there can no be a strong and stable economy and political environment.Without them, the country is at a great risk of corruption and collapse.Then it will be forgotten in the history,become unknown ever since.
 But a great nation is not a nation that only has general well-being of all.For a great nation, to some extent,is meant contributions to the development and progress of human and society.So a nation of well-being of its people can only be call a"qualified nation",never a great nation.Just focusing on the well-being of its people, the nation can be self-relying and lack of sight of what a nation should be.Just think of Rome Empire.Why does it fascinate so many people,its all about this grandeur,its glory,its military and it code and law.Few people would argue that Rome is not a great nation because its people were suffering,there were lots of slaves.
 And moreover,achievement is surely a greater factor in deciding a great nation.for they surely contribute to the society and humankind and the achievement is based on the whole image of well-being of its people.they are not paradoxical.the well-being of people is the basement of achievement,for without it there won't be any person to think out of daily life and reflect on themselves.And then on the other hand, the achievement of the ruler,artists can benefit its people as well.
 So to sum up,the indicators of a great nation are both of them,but the achievement of the elites is a much more important factor.For its represent the country's best performance and greatest and deepest thinking,and it is deserved to be recognized as the surest indicator.

普渡哥

写得挺好的，可以补充阐述一下在你的眼里great nation的定义。

竹林中人

Does the surest indicator of a great nation is thewell-being of its people? The claim says yes, but I don't totally agree withit. Surely, well-being of the people in the （注意the的用法，这里只是泛指，用a就好了）country is importantfor us to evaluate a great nation, but the more necessary indicator is theachievement of its rulers, scientist and artist.


Admittedly, I must concede that wee-being of itsentire people is crucial to a great nation and it is a indicator to some extent.Among any nation, despite what it achieve, what it is considered by contemporaries,without well-being and ingenuousness of its people, or without assiduous laborof its workforce, there can no be a strong and stable economy and political environment.Without them, the country is at a great risk of corruption and collapse. Thenit will be forgotten in the history, become unknown ever since.


But a great nation is not a nation that only hasgeneral well-being of all. For a great nation, to some extent, is meantcontributions？ to thedevelopment and progress of human and society. So a nation of well-beingof its people （？） can only be called a "qualified nation", never agreat nation. Just focusing on the well-being of its people, the nation can beself-relying and lack of sight of what a nation should be. Just think of Rome Empire.Why does it fascinate so many people, its all about this grandeur, its glory,its military and it code and law. Few people would argue that Rome
is not a great nation because its peoplewere suffering, there were lots of slaves.

And moreover, achievement is surely a greater factorin deciding a great nation. They surely contribute to the society and humankindand the achievement is based on the whole image of well-being of its people. Theyare not paradoxical. The well-being of people is the basement of achievement,for without it there won't be any person to think out of daily life and reflecton themselves. And then on the other hand, the achievement of the ruler,artists can benefit its people as well.
你的论述还是不够具体，Issue不仅是说出你的个人看法，更重要的还是你的论证分析，比如这句话They are notparadoxical. The well-being of people is the basement of achievement, for withoutit there won't be any person to think out of daily life and reflect on themselves.如果没有一个比较具体的例子，是很难让人信服的
So to sum up, the indicators of a great nation areboth of them, but the achievement of the elites is a much more important factor.For its represent the country's best performance and greatest and deepest thinking,and it is deserved to be recognized as the surest indicator.
如果你的最后一段能说的更具体些，你的思路意图就达到了。