小未作文贴，求很拍~~

未知未来2

better or brighter future awaits us as long as we keep the habit.

未知未来2

。。。。题目 It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. Do you  agree?

未知未来2

In an era of understanding and versatility, our circle of friends is becoming bigger and bigger. Consequently, there is general discussion over the question that whether we should totally be honest with our friends. A large number of people seem to have pleasant association with the idea that we can lie with friends in proper time. However, is this really the case? The information I have collected over the recent years leads me to believe that friends should be honest with each other. This can benefit our study, life and mind.


When it comes to study, the majority of people claim that the help of friends exerts profound effects on our progress. Someone even equate the loyalty among friends with the achievements one can make. We cannot emphasize the importance of telling the truth to friends too much, for it is closely related to our success. Let's take myself for example. In high school, some of my classmates tended to live under the illusion that telling everything they knew in academic work to others could lower their own grades. Nevertheless, my friend and I always discussed the problems and tried our best to help each other. We were not inclined to hide the knowledge we knew; as a result, we were top students in our high school. In view of the contribution of being honest to our study, effective measures must be taken and great efforts much be made to erase the misleading concept among students.


In addition to the benefits to our study, it is commonly acknowledged that friends are able to help us if we tell truth to them. If our friends have no idea about the dilemma we involved in, how could they help us? Therefore, being honest with friends is of importance. With the help of our friends, our life and work will become more comfortable and less laborious. According to a recent survey, 75 percent of people believe that their friends could give them suggestions to help them out of the drawbacks in life as long as friends know their situation. Even though sometime friends may overlook our concerns, it not so much they are not willing to help us as they don't know the real situation. Being honest to friends is indispensible to us that we should spare no effort to achieve this.




Although it is desirable to tell some lies to friends to surprise them, its disadvantages have been pointed out by the increasing number of experts. People who advocate keeping some secrets seem to fail to take into account the fact that those behavior poses threaten to our friendship. It hard to image that we still intend to make friends with someone who lies to us. Thus, the public should be encouraged to be honest with friends and we should lay considerable emphasis on the advantages of it. It is a matter of keeping or losing a friendship and on no account can we ignore the value of telling the truth.


From what have been discussed above, it would be reasonable to believe that telling truth to friends contribute directly to our study and life. It is time we bring home to people the value of it. A much better and brighter future awaits us as long as we keep doing that.

235852140

11月16日 it is important to be completely honest with your friends. 批改
错误 建议 好

In an era of understanding and versatility（多才多艺的时代？还是多功能性的时代？ versatility n.having a wide variety of skills）, our circle of friends is becoming bigger and bigger. Consequently, there is （+a） general discussion over the question that whether we should totally be honest with our friends. A large number of people seem to have pleasant association with the idea that we can lie with friends in proper time. However, is this really the case? The information I have collected over the recent years leads me to believe that friends should be honest with each other. This can benefit our study, life and mind. (第一段很好，点名主旨了~)

When it comes to study, the majority of people claim that the help of friends exerts profound effects on our progress. Someone even equate the loyalty among friends with the achievements one can make. We cannot emphasize the importance of telling the truth to friends too much, for it is closely related to our success.（这句不理解。我们不能过多强调讲实话的重要性，因为它与成功密切相关？） Let's take myself for example. In high school, some of my classmates tended to live under the illusion that telling everything they knew in academic work to others could lower their own grades. Nevertheless, my friend and I always discussed the problems and tried our best to help each other. We were not inclined to hide the knowledge we knew; as a result, we were top students in our high school. In view of the contribution of being honest to our study, effective measures must be taken and great efforts much be made to erase the misleading concept among students.（这段写的很好啊，好多词汇短语很精彩，学习了。再要画黄色的都画满了）

In addition to the benefits to our study, it is commonly acknowledged that friends are able to help us if we tell truth to them. If our friends have no idea about the dilemma we involved in, how could they help us? Therefore, being honest with friends is of importance. With the help of our friends, our life and work will become more comfortable and less laborious.（这里是要开始说第二点吧？对于生活和工作来说了。前两句还是study层面的，那最好过渡到第二层面就另起一段，这样老美不会晕啊，前两句则应该接在上一段后面） According to a recent survey, 75 percent of people believe that their friends could give them suggestions to help them out of the drawbacks in life as long as friends know their situation. Even though sometime friends may overlook our concerns, it（+is） not so much（+that） they are not willing to help us（+，） as（+that） they don't know the real situation.（例句：It is not so muchthatAmericais ungovernable, asthatMr Obama has done a lousy jobofwinningoverRepublicans and independents to the causeshe favours.奥巴马把共和党人和独立参选人士争取过来，赢得他们支持自己钟爱的事业之后却把工作干的一塌糊涂，但是比起美国难以管制，这都远远不及。）Being honest to friends is indispensible to us that we should spare no effort to achieve this.


Although it is desirable to tell some lies to friends to surprise them, its disadvantages have been pointed out by the increasing number of experts. People who advocate keeping some secrets seem to fail to take into account the fact that those behavior poses threaten to our friendship. It hard to image that we still intend to make friends with someone who lies to us. Thus, the public should be encouraged to be honest with friends and we should lay considerable emphasis on the advantages of it. It is a matter of keeping or losing a friendship and on no account can we ignore the value of telling the truth.(语言很棒，但逻辑有一点问题，第一句话说尽管tell lies…，但是它的缺点被越来越多的专家指出。第一句通常是这一段的分论点。但是后文并没有说专家指出什么什么，并且缺点也只提出了一点，就是threaten our friendship，并没有像第一句所说的disadvantages。 )

From what have been discussed above, it would be reasonable to believe that telling truth to friends contribute directly to our study and life. It is time we bring home to people the value of it. A much better and brighter future awaits us as long as we keep doing that.

总结：字数550！大神！楼主的用词多样性，句式多样性都很赞了。好句子好词很多，我都画不过来了。整体结构也都没问题。鸡蛋里挑骨头的说两点缺点：
1. 文章中的长句太多，几乎通篇都是。长句固然好，可以显示语言功底，但是好的文章是长短句的结合，这样读起来才不会累，有节奏感。仔细审视一下，是否有很多不必要的似乎故意写长的句子，可以把它们简化一下。就完美了。比如it is …that的句型特别多
2. 第一段的结尾说This can benefit our study, life and mind. 这样的意思就是后文将从这三个方面展开论述了，事实也的确如此，但是第四段并没有论述benefit our mind，而是论述了说谎的缺点，其实第四段多加一两句说：说谎本质就不好，而讲实话是美好的品德，能建立起朋友间的信任，（扩大到说）人们的友谊才能纯洁啊，精神高尚啊，之类的，就扣到mind上了。然后再说public怎么做算是给点建议。
这一点是根据og上的评分标准第二条：is well organized and well developed,using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details. 以及第三点：display unity. 包括progression 和 coherence。

看你的作文对我有很大帮助的说，希望我的批改对你也有帮助。祝你31~

晨依Jacqueline

建议把之前写的文章保留下来哟，不仅自己可以反思进步，也可以给新同学提供一些借鉴!

未知未来2

谢谢你哈~~现在才看到，真是不好意思的说。。。
你提出的问题都很准确啊，我经常写的时候逻辑就混乱了。。。。而且我自己也觉得长句子很多，不好啊，不知道该怎么办。。。话说你的话真的给我很多信心，30号就考了，最后一站，希望能上100+，也希望作文能提上去，真的很感谢你的耐心！！我也去偷窥一下你的文章哈，哈哈~~

未知未来2

不好意思哈现在才看到。我以为，我发的帖子是错的呢，作文贴不是这么占座的。。。。。想删又删不了。 不过现在懂啦，谢谢~~

未知未来2

11.18 独立 Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past
In an era of outstanding sophistication and versatility, we lay considerable emphasis on education. Consequently, there is a general discussion over the question that whether modern people can be educated easier than ancient people. A large number of people have pleasant association with the idea that we are difficult to be educated since we have to learn to master various high technology and science. However, is this really the case? The information I have collected in the recent years leads me to believe that people are easier to be educated. The amounts of information give us a good platform; the technology makes us more efficiency and the fierce competition motivates us learn faster.

When it comes to useful information, the majority of people claim that it exerts profound effects on the speed of our learning. Some people even equate the volume of knowledge one receives with the education level. One advantage of such information is that it provides the most convenient method to learn new skills or knowledge. Let's take my brother for example. His major was French but he was not good at it. He just didn’t know how to study it. Occasionally, he knew a website where people share their own experience about how to overcome the difficulties of studying French. Then he tried the methods referred on the website. After making efforts, his French is excellent. In view of the contribution of plenty of information nowadays, we are indeed easier to be educated.

In addition to information, it is commonly accepted that modern technology helps us learn faster. Attending classrooms is not the only source for students obtain knowledge. Studying a new skill is no longer a problem for workers for they are able to manipulate several machines. Besides, in a research, 650,000 people in different countries are randomly picked by experts and they are asked to value their ability to study. 75% of them maintain that the capability they learn is proportional to the improvement of new tech. Due to the help of modern technology, the public are inclined to learn faster.

What's more, the pressure from competition contributes directly to driving us learn more and faster. Some people advocate that we are overwhelmed by kinds of innovation and inventions and their complexity enables us study slowly. What those people fail to take into account is that people are compelled to be educated fast under pressure. It puts them into a favorable position in the job markets. My father did not get the chance to study operating computer and English at school. He used to live under the illusion that those skills were not indispensible to him. Nevertheless, the competition from youngsters and peers in company forces him to study new skills. Thus, pressure from avoid being fired promotes us to be educated easily.

From what have been discussed above, it would be reasonable to believe that people learn new knowledge much faster than in the past due to the obvious advantages we enjoy.

未知未来2

11.19 独立It is more important to choose friends that have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you need them
In an era of outstanding sophistication and versatility, we lay considerable emphasis on our friendship. Consequently, there is a general discussion over the question that we should choose friends having fun with us or helping us when we need them. A large number of people have pleasant association with the idea that we should make friends with people who we can hang out together. However, is this really the case? The information I have received over the last few years leads me to believe that friends who are able to help us is more essential. With the help of them, our study will become more efficient; our mind will become more relaxed; our lives will become more comfortable.

When it comes to study, a majority of people claim that assistance of friends exerts profound impacts on it. Discussion among friends provides a good studying atmosphere and improves our efficiency. Let's take myself for example. In high school, some of my classmates tended to live under the illusion that communicate with friends about academic work would lower their grades. Nevertheless, my friend and I always shared our new methods and knowledge about one subject. We tried our best to help each other. As a result, we were the top two students in our class. In view of the contribution of the help from friends, having friends who can help us is great.

In addition to improve our study, helpful friends enable us feel relaxed and energetic. As a old saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed. When we are upset, friends who comfort us and help us overcome the drawbacks are of importance. In a research, 650,000 people in different countries are randomly recruited by experts and they are asked to the methods to release their pressure. 75 percent of people maintain that private communication from friends is the main way. Due to helpful friends, we are inclined to possess a positive spirit.

What's more, the help from friends makes our lives less laborious. Some people advocate that we are happier with funny friends. What those people fail to take into account is that the value of friendship only shows up in difficulties. One rich man indeed has plenty of friends willing to have fun with him. But it is hard to image that those people intend to help him, when he suddenly bankrupts. On the contrary, helpful friends give us a hand and let us feel the warm without hesitation and complaints. Thus, choosing friends who can help us should be encouraged. On no account can we ignore the importance of them.


From what have been discussed above, it would be reasonable to believe that helpful friends play an extremely important role in our lives and should be given priority. Furthermore, we should bring home to people the value of them. I believe a much better and brighter future awaits us as long as we have those friends.

未知未来2

11.23 综合
The lecture casts doubt on the arguments illustrated in the reading material. According to the professor, controlling the population of cane toad is not easy and the measures mentioned in the reading passages will be unsuccessful and produce unwanted damage.

To begin with, the speaker points out that a national fence will not stop the movement of cane toads. This apparently challenge the points made in the reading. Those young cane toads are able to move into new areas with the help of rives or streams. They will finally find a way to other side, even if national fence is built up. The point made in the lecture contrasts with what is presented in the reading material.

In addition, in accordance with the professor, untrained volunteers would destroy many precious species. The reading maintains that plenty of people are able to capture those toads; and the professor admits it would work. However, professor also maintains that behavior could pose a threat already endangered frages.

Furthermore, the lecturer also doubts the writer’s viewpoint by asserting that virus will infect American toads. In order to demonstrate with her opinion, she provides evidence that some toads could be transported by researchers from Australia to American. If those infected species are bought to American----toads’ native habit, those disease-causing virus will attack native cane toads, too.

In a nutshell, the professor believes that those measures are ineffective. All these three evidence shows that the standpoints in the reading material are totally jeopardized by the professor.