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[申请文书] 我的PS , 求拍咯.....(用的shinewrite润色过的)

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发表于 2012-11-14 20:56:43 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Personal Statement

As a child, science fascinated me. My first exposure to a real science laboratory was my aunt’s chemistry laboratory where I saw colorful liquids and various jars that mesmerized my young, curious mind. From then on, I have cultivated and nurtured my interest and fascination for chemistry. Therefore, after successfully passing the National University Entrance Examinations, I was accepted at the XX U, one of the “211 Project” National Key Universities and premier forestry university in China. With my inclination towards chemistry, I chose to enroll in the polymer science and engineering program, which not only provided me with a solid foundation in mathematics and engineering but also heightened my strong desire to pursue further studies on material engineering. Thus, to obtain more professional composite/biofuel knowledge, I am signifying my interest in the XXX PhD program of your prestigious university.

I have a solid theoretical and practical background in my field of interest which I honed through various research experiences. As a research assistant at the Key Laboratory of Bio-Based Materials Science and Technology, I was mainly responsible for improving the toughness of PU by using different concentrations of organic MMT to modify the PU, which required me to note any changes in temperature. However, when I dried the PU, many bubbles formed. Thus, I applied my knowledge in chemicals to address the bubble problem by adding acetone to the PU to eliminate the bubbles. Although I came across many challenges during my experiments, my ability to solve problems improved.

Moreover, I successfully obtained funding for one of my projects from the National Innovation Experimental Project, and received approximately 15000 RMB financial aid from the Ministry of Education. My project focused mainly on modifying cornstarch adhesive to be used for wood. As I developed the study, I learned to solve problems innovatively. In one of the experiments, the propeller and four-neck flask did not match well. I improvised and used a rubber sleeve to bind both components together to make them work. Challenges can be unpredictable and difficult. While I was conducting an experiment one winter in the lab, I needed to use the ultrasonic vibration analyzer and thermostat water bath, which required water. Unfortunately, the faucet was dry and the lab was located on the ninth floor. I carried pails of water from the ground floor all the way to the ninth floor to complete my experiment.

Learning new things does not stop even during the winter holiday. I taught myself to use Matlab to prepare for MCM/ICM. Learning the software was challenging in the beginning but my persistence and regular discussions with friends bore fruit.  Finally, I succeeded and learned how to perform mathematical modeling.

In addition to pursuing independent learning through my various research experiences, I have also worked effectively in heading a team. In one project, I served as the team leader and directed my team in achieving a research goal. My team and I worked tirelessly to complete a paper to be submitted to a competition. Eventually, our project won honorable mention. I attribute my success as a team leader to my ability to communicate and interact well with other people. Moreover, when I volunteered in the China Advanced Material Industry Exposition, I applied the same communication techniques and strategies in dealing with other people

Apart from developing my academic activities, I believe the most beneficial aspect of my university life was the myriad opportunities to communicate and work with people from different walks of life. I am the president of Student Union, as well as the Work and Study Center of the university. Our group organized many activities for students, including sourcing out-of-campus jobs for students and managing in-campus jobs. The organization also serves as a contact center where we help people connect and assist visitors.

My desire to fully utilize my academic, interpersonal, and leadership abilities compel me to expand my knowledge by pursuing further studies. I believe your research program and my capabilities are compatible. I am quite impressed by the rich research culture of your university. The core curriculum of your program will enable me to capitalize on my research acumen and past experiences to achieve my future academic and career goals successfully. I am confident the opportunity to study at this esteemed University would open many doors for future opportunities.
 楼主| 发表于 2012-11-14 21:00:58 | 显示全部楼层
自己先顶啦
发表于 2012-11-14 21:40:05 | 显示全部楼层
太长了吧,不是大多学校要求500字或者ONE PAGE吗?
发表于 2012-11-15 11:15:34 | 显示全部楼层
段落太多,重组一下,结构紧凑严谨一些。
发表于 2012-11-15 17:01:01 | 显示全部楼层
这个。。。是不是太长了啊。。。720字,。。。我也不懂啊。。共同讨论。。。。我也有ps。。不敢放上来。。太烂了。。
发表于 2012-11-15 17:44:12 | 显示全部楼层
还有,lz想问问你,,,shinewirte你觉得怎么样啊?我也想用。。。不知道哪个合适。。。
发表于 2012-12-11 08:04:25 | 显示全部楼层
写得好好呀,很具体,而且又有故事!

不过第二段和第三段既然都是讲academic 的东西,为什么不合并呢和简洁点呢?纯属个人意见哦。猪lz顺利!
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