[求助]twe 008 恳请大家帮助修改，多谢

violetsapphire

8.Do you agree or disagree eith the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and families?

    It is a constant debate as to whether television has destoryed communication amony friends and families in our daily lives. As far as I concerned, I totally disagree with the title statement and the reasons are given below.

    First and Foremost, Television programs encourage people to communicate with their families. Lastest news are the objects that people enjoy to discuss. These days,it is possible to get up-to-minute news when people turn on the televisions every time. They hear about current news happened all around the world that directly affect our lives. Everyone has their own opinions about news and want to discuss with others. Thus televisions increase our communication.

    Another reason for my views is that televisions promote the affection that between people and their families. People and their families are able to sit together for some humoristic television programs that can relax all of them after a tough warkday. How wonderful it is! And if their families watch some of the same programs as they do,they also can learn something that interest them form their families. Apparently this is an excellent form of communication that helps people understand each other better.

    Last but not least, not only does not television destroy communication amony friends but also it can get people to make friends easier. No matter what cities people live in, they obtain the almost same TV programs as other parts of country. When they go to new countries for working or studying,they will already have something in common with the local residents,thereby digging a channel to begin new friendship for them.

    In conclusion, based on the three reasons I presented above, televisions bring us a lot of advantages.Therefore I disagree with the theme.

    谢谢各位的修改和意见！！！

pengstone

楼主的语言虽无很多出彩之处，但总体算通顺，逻辑也比较清楚，结构合理，除了结尾单薄了一些。

如想拿高分，还应在语言上下功夫。以倒数第二段为例：

Last but not least, not only does not television destroy communication amony friends but also it can get people to make friends easier（not only but also结构一般表示“更进一步”的意思，很少用来连接表示“转折”）. No matter what cities people live in, they obtain the almost same （can access almost the same, 注意the的位置）TV programs as other parts of country. When they go to new countries for working or studying,they will already have something in common with the local residents,thereby digging a channel to begin new friendship for （with）them

soaring

谢写GG的修改~

violetsapphire

谢谢GG的修改，再顺便问一下，GG说：“楼主的语言虽无很多出彩之处”，可不可以以我上面的作文为例，给出几个例子来，以后我好有训练的方向，再此再谢谢各位了！

soaring

这个怎么举例啊