[求助]twe 009 恳请大家帮助修改，多谢

violetsapphire

009 Some people prefer to live in a small town.Others perfer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer?

    I grew up in a small town and then moved to a big city. I got a lot of  experience from both of places, they were good and bad sides of both.In general, I prefer to live in a big city. I will elaborate my views as  follow.

    First and Foremost, living in a city is more convenient. Transportations in city are much easier than town. In a small town, due to short of many public transportations, people have to get their own cars to ensure their comfortable lives. Nevertheless, on the other hand in city, people can pick buses,taxis,subways as their vehicles when they get different situations,but you do not have these choices in a small town.

    Convenience is not only reason for I like living in city. Another excuse for my viewpoints is that there are more entertainments in which people are able to obtain varieties of life in city. In small town,lives are humdrum. You do the same things in the same places everyday, nothing seems to be changed. However, in a city, local museums provide people plentiful histories of this area, and people can go to a stadium for a exciting football game when they feed up with books in library. In a word, city present us several types of live that we like most.

    Last reason but least, small town has less work opportunities than big city does.Clue to few companies, the small town requires few workers, apparently, getting a job is difficult. Whereas, in opposition to this situation,more companies in city are able to give more work opportunities for numbers of people.Thus it is easier to get a job in city.

    In conclusion, based on three reasons I presented above, living in city has some advantages, hence I prefer to live in a big to a small town.

    知不知道能不能上5.0分？谢谢各位的修改和意见！！！

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-11-7 14:45:01编辑过]

violetsapphire

怎么没有人回帖呀？版主帮帮忙吧！！

potato1117

以下是引用violetsapphire在2004-11-7 14:39:00的发言：

009 Some people prefer to live in a small town.Others perfer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer?

    I grew up in a small town and then moved to a big city. I got a lot of  experience from both of places, they were（这个动词用的不对吧，觉得应该用have或had） good and bad sides of both（两个句子间没有连词）.In general, I prefer to live in a big city. I will elaborate my views as  follow.（都是简单句，感觉有些重复，呵呵）

    First and Foremost, living in a city is more convenient. Transportations in city are much easier than town. In a small town, due to short of many public transportations, people have to get their own cars to ensure their comfortable lives. Nevertheless, on the other hand（和nevertheless的意思重复，有一个就可以了） in city, people can pick buses,taxis,subways as their vehicles when they get different situations,but you （they）do not have these choices in a small town.

    Convenience is not (the) only reason for (why) I like living in city. Another excuse (不知道excuse用在这里是否合适）for my viewpoints is that there are more entertainments in which people are able to obtain varieties of life in city. In small town,lives are humdrum. You do the same things in the same places everyday, （用个连词）nothing seems to be changed. However, in a city, local museums provide people (with) plentiful histories of this area, and people can go to a stadium for a exciting football game when they feed up with books in library. In a word, city(cities) present us several types of live that we like most.

    Last reason but （应该少了个not吧）least, small town has less work opportunities than big city does（does好象不对，或者用has,或者省略）.Clue to few companies, the small town requires few workers, apparently, getting a job is difficult（好象这两句中间也少个连词）. Whereas, in opposition to （in opposition to 和whereas意思重复了）this situation,more companies in city are able to give more work opportunities for numbers of people.Thus it is easier to get a job in city.

    In conclusion, based on three reasons I presented above, living in city has some advantages, hence I prefer to live in a big (city) to a small town.

    知不知道能不能上5.0分？谢谢各位的修改和意见！！！

提的不一定对，只是看最近改作文的ＮＮ们越来越少了，可能都在忙着申请，那我们这些兄弟们一起努力，互相修改吧。

pengstone

呵呵，被potato说中了。最近忙着写essay, 白天上班，下班后就赶着essay,  熬了一个星期的夜，感觉有点挺不住了。

其他几位班主也在申请，而且还在编辑TWE大全，挺辛苦的。感谢大家的体谅，俺们会尽量兼顾的。实在照顾不到的地方，还请大家多包涵。

严重鼓励大家互相修改。

violetsapphire

谢谢楼上两位高人！并对我的“催促”表示歉意！我不知道大家都这么忙！sorry!!!