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大家能不能帮我看一下,这篇文章能得几分?有什么问题呀?

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楼主
发表于 2012-10-7 21:12:23 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Spending money for travelling is betterthan saving money for future use.

Relaxationbecomes a perpetual topic in today's society. Leisure time is more and morevaluable as the pressure of life becomes greater. However, when it comes to theproblem of using the money, people's notions vary from person to person.Although some individuals asserts that spending money for travelling is betterthan saving money for future use, I doubt whether the conclusion needs furtheranalysis.


Itis undeniable that spending money for travelling is good for exposing anotherdifferent life style. Take myself as an example, I used to go to London as anexchange student. At that half year, I learned a lot of things about Britishpeople's behavior, which is quite different from Easters. They express theirideas directly without much irrelevant topic, and they like taking double-busto go to work. In contrast, in my country, people may say a lot of irrelevantmatters before they express their real purpose, and they tend to take subway togo to their workplaces. In addition, English people have the habit to have theafternoon tea time, which is not very common in my country.


Nevertheless,it is also indisputable that saving money for future use is good in order tohaving more security when emergency happens. Nowadays, everything that we useand have becomes more and more costly, especially in medical care. When we getsome very emergency diseases, and therefore must see the doctor immediately. Itis very hard for us to afford the big expense of various medicines and the feeof operation, if we do not save money. In addition, imagine the situation. Werun our own business. When our company has some cash flow problem, winch may causedby the economic crisis, it is likely that our company will go bankrupt, if wedo not have enough money to maintain the ordinary order of manufacture. Somepeople may think we can buy insurance to avoid these risks, however, in somesense, insurance is a kind of saving.


Judgingfrom the above evidence offered, I can hardly agree that spending money fortravelling is better than saving money for future use. From my perspective, itdepends on the people's ages whether spending money for travelling or savingmoney for future use is a better way.
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-8 08:57:36 | 只看该作者
怎么没有人看看呀,求帮助~
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-8 09:02:01 | 只看该作者
感觉论证是硬伤呢~
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-8 13:14:53 | 只看该作者
怎么木有人回复我呀~
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-8 21:23:43 | 只看该作者
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-9 12:41:59 | 只看该作者
7#
发表于 2012-10-10 21:13:48 | 只看该作者
抱抱。。
8#
发表于 2012-10-11 18:24:56 | 只看该作者
感觉语言上可以再提高一下!
中间论证的部分有点少 请充实一下
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