周五就要上战场了，AA刚开始看，求鉴定一篇本屌刚写的AA

wade0731

28号上战场了，昨天刚开始看了AA部分。现在心里一点底都没有。参考了一些模板后，感觉真正写起来的话，中间段的模板未必会想得起来用。这里贴上一篇刚打的AA，求各位战友及前辈们看看是不是只能得个3分啊！谢谢1. The following appeared as part of anannual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozenfoods.

“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizationslearn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color filmprocessing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents forfive-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The sameprinciple applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will sooncelebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experiencewill enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

正文：In this argument, the author reaches theconclusion that the Olympic Foods company will minimize costs and maximize itsprofits. To bolster the argument, the author refers to the fact thatorganizations learn how to do things better than before and they become moreefficient. In addition, the author makes an analogy to enhance his argument.While the argument appears warranted at the very first glance, it is notwithout loophole. Clearly, the line of reasoning is unconvincing for a coupleof reasons.

First, the author commits a fallacy offalse analogy in assuming that the processing costs of frozen food will declineas obviously as those of film processing. The reasoning is questionable becausethere is not any comparability in the two processing. Film industry is totallydifferent from frozen food processing. That is to say, the difference between themis obvious. Thus, it is unreasonable for the author to make this analogy. Inconsequence, the argument is unwarranted and the conclusion is untenable as itstands as well.

Second, the reason offered is insufficientto illustrate why the costs have decreased. The author only points out thatorganizations’ efficiency contributes to the decrease in the processing costs.
This fact is not concrete and specific tosupport the claim. Furthermore, as an annual report sent to stockholders, nomore concrete statistic is stated in the argument. For example, the concretefigures about the costs of last year and those of this year should bedemonstrated. Thus, stockholders can easily know about the exact financial situation.The author’s failure to mention those statistics renders the conclusion basedupon it highly suspect.

To sum up, the author, by leaving outabove-mentioned factors, fails to validate the conclusion that Olympic companywill minimize its costs and thus maximize profits. To better brace hisargument, the author needs more data gathering and analyses to demonstrate theconcrete number of the decrease in costs. Moreover, the author would have toprovide more persuasive evidence to illustrate the reasons of drop in thecosts.

wade0731

擦，怎么没个人回复下呢，着急死了。还有如果中间段不用模板或者不指出那些fallacy的专有名词，比如gratuitous assumption之类的会不会扣分啊？还是说只要内容合理就可以了呢？？？？
求NN解答！

erickyu

5分拿好，少例子，模板用的比较生硬。