一篇argument，请大神们拍怕，顺便给下分，10月就要考了，感激不尽

李子木

One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically.

zhangwenyi1121

首先语法要过关，读起来有点累。单复数，时态可以再检查一下。 可以用逗号把一些很长的句子分开来。
第二个论点有点模糊，没有说明的很清楚。题目中也没有强调这个集团很有名所以没有必要自己加上一个信息。
如果有时间可以再用说一下水压变小了不一定代表用水量一定减少。 总量说不定还是维持原状。

观点业余，楼主加油！

李子木

恩恩非常感谢

李子木

不过请问你有时间能不能和我详细交流下，我也感觉自己的语言和观点有很大的问题。我的qq1725296548   谢谢你了

竹林中人

第二段里你讲了两个问题，一个是满意度的问题一个是是否真的节约的问题，建议分开谈

竹林中人

第三段同样，最好不要在一段里揉进过度的点，能说清楚一个点就很好了

李子木

非常谢谢中人，我会继续写的