Argument求指教

hsloner

题目： 45/49 The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University. "Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs
offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for
dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years,
enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems,
Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni.
We predictthat instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment
and solve its budget problems."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to
decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to
explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
去年报名参加附近Omni 大学远程教学系统的学生人数上升了50％。同年，Omni
用于宿舍和教室的开支比前一年显著下降，很可能是因为远程教学通过互动电脑
录像授课。比较而言，在过去三年中，Humana 学院的报名人数下降了，而且用
于房屋维护的费用和财政赤字都上升。因此，为解决这些问题，我们也应该开展
并积极推广与Omni 一样的远程教学系统。我们预计推出这样的在线课程不光可
以增加我们的招生也同时可以解决目前的财政赤字危机。




提纲：

1 总说题目的观点是没有根据的。
2 讨论论据材料的来源  是否可靠 值得信赖
3 宿舍的预算或许跟online degree没有关系 有多个方面构成 比如建材价格 学生数量 教学质量
4 讨论两个学校的不同  这也是可能导致这一现象的原因
5 讨论enrollment 是有什么造成的 跟onlinedegree的关系

内容：

It is clear thatthe author did not give enough evidence to attest that the number of studentswho enrolled in online degree programs offered by Omni University increasedby 50 percent had a link with a significant decrease from prior years inexpenditures for dormitory and classroom space.
        Thepaper also did not show us where these investigative materials are from. Shouldus trust them? Is it possible that the investigator make fake data for theirown benefit? Could they be neutral when do the survey? We can not believe themif they insert into these data with their own views. And how many studentsentered the online degree? It is not unpersuasive if the base number is so small.
        Theauthor also write that the decrease in expenditures for dormitory and classroomresult from the increase of the number of students who enrolled in onlinedegree programs. It is entirely groundless, the number of resident students declinedmay led to it. Maybe the students` home are nearby the university so they didnot live in school. And the descend of the number of students who enrolled theuniversity probably on account of the studied quality in the university isterrible.
        Andit is not established that the expenditures for dormitory and classroom spacewill decrease in Humana University if they promote online degree programs onlybecause Omni University ever done that. We should collect as many of stuff toprove the situation. Perhaps the price of the building stuff increased willresult in the cost of maintaining buildings increased along with our budgetdeficit.
        Maybethe age of the students between the two universities is diverse. OmniUniversity enroll many of adult students, so they will enjoy onlinedegree programs at their part time, which will reduce the time spend in schoolso that they can do anything for his family. While many of students in HumanaUniversity are comprised of young people, who can spend enough time onuniversity. And perhaps most of the people at the area of Omni University arepoor that they can not afford the expend of the school. As we know that theonline degree program is always cheaper.
        Atlast the author also wrote that instituting these online degree programs willhelp Humana increase its total enrollment. This conclusion is absurdbecause the enrollment is relative to the quality of the studied. Can theonline course assure the quality? To the contrary, maybe it will becounteractive.

请各位大神指教 顺便给个分数  

普渡哥

理由找的不错，英文部分结构再好好组织一下，建议重写一遍。

3+

hsloner

谢谢好的

竹林中人

你这篇文章只是在指出毛病，只完成了一半的工作。