朽木 作文贴~~ 求指导 求猛攻 已然火烧眉毛了

xiumu2280

这些层出不穷的小错误看的我自己都要吐血了····谢谢修改

xiumu2280

Should company use public recognition to rewardhard working, not to use money
21:17
Should company use public recognition ormoney to reward hard working? It is easy to image people with different backgroundsand perspectives will judge it with their own angles. As for me, both of themethod is useful to reward hard working. But only when they tied with eachother can they achieve the highest efficiency. Several points will testify myview.
First of all, it cannot be denied the factthat individuals need money, thus money can motivate us to work hard. Under thesituation of economic crisis, an increasing number of people lose their jobs. Inorder to satisfy the demand of family, employees work hard and want to gain higherpay.They do not know when and where the disaster will occur to themselves. Onthe other hand, Money can motivate people to work hard. Owing to gaining thescholarship, I study really hard. For the reason that the scholarship can releasethe economic pressure of my parents. And I can use the money to buy somethinguseful. This case is not rare, in reality the employees generally will face thesame phenomenon. But the money cannot effect at a long time, and when we wipeit out there is nothing can be left.
Moreover, it cannot emphasize theimportance of public recognition too much. Everyone wants to gain reputationfrom others, and public recognition is an essential way to do that among all ofthe means. Praise can give person a sense of satisfaction. And this feeling canmotivate people to work hard too. But this feeling functionedlonger than that money did. To take one of my friends, who was an excellent teamleader of Microsoft, for an example. He always told me that gold pales in comparisonto the significant of reputation. His success all comes from the support ofco-workers, and the reputation is source of support. So, public recognition actuallyis a key factor in our career. But the public recognition cannot feed the basicneed of human.
Peopleneed money and achievement need public recognition. They can cover theirshortage when they are used together to reward hard working. Therefore, I stickto my point that company should use both money and public recognition to rewardhard working.

45573asdasd

Should company use public recognition ormoney to reward hard working? It is easy to imagine people with different backgroundsand perspectives will judge it with their own angles. As for me, both of themethod is useful to reward hard working. But only when they tied with eachother can they achieve the highest efficiency. Several points will testify myview.
First of all, it cannot be denied the factthat individuals need money, thus money can motivate us to work hard. Under thesituation of economic crisis, an increasing number of people lose their jobs. Inorder to satisfy the demand of family, employees work hard and want to gain higherpay.They do not know when and where the disaster will occur to themselves. Onthe other hand, Money can motivate people to work hard.（连续出现两个一模一样观点？） Owing to gaining thescholarship, I study really hard. For the reason that the scholarship can releasethe economic pressure of my parents. And I can use the money to buy somethinguseful. This case is not rare, in reality the employees generally will face thesame phenomenon. But the money cannot effect at a long time, and when we wipeit out there is nothing can be left.
Moreover, it cannot emphasize theimportance of public recognition too much. Everyone wants to gain reputationfrom others, and public recognition is an essential way to do that among all ofthe means. Praise can give person a sense of satisfaction. And this feeling canmotivate people to work hard too. But this feeling functionedlonger than that money did. To take one of my friends, who was an excellent teamleader of Microsoft, for （as）an example. He always told me that gold pales in comparisonto the significant of reputation. His success all comes from the support ofco-workers, and the reputation is source of support. （你这个朋友只是说说就成功了/不信服）So, public recognition actuallyis a key factor in our career. But the public recognition cannot feed the basicneed of human.
Peopleneed money and achievement need public recognition. They can cover theirshortage when they are used together to reward hard working. Therefore, I stickto my point that company should use both money and public recognition to rewardhard working.
问题还是客观存在的。连着打字是按错字来的，你上下错了差不多20个。字数稍微嫌少。影响分数。逻辑的连贯性还是不错的。看看素材。贝贝句子

xiumu2280

谢谢修改~那个单词连着的问题··我也不知道怎么回事。从WORD2010上复制过来  个别单词就成那样了···

xiumu2280

Independent Writing: Some people think that auniversity professor should focus time on doing research; while others thinkthat the main role of a professor is to educate students in university.
14:30  有好多 被连接起来的两个单词··· 我这WORD不知道怎么回事，一复制上来就这个样子··无视好了
Should university professor focus time ondoing research or educating students? It is easy to imagine people withdifferent backgrounds and perspectives will judge it with different angles. Asfor me, the university professor should mainly educate students in university.Several examples will be explained to testify my vision.
First of all, it cannot emphasize  theimportance of educational role played by university too much. As we all known, Universityis born to spread knowledge and science to people. If the university professorspay too much attention on research, the university would lose its original faithand even cannot be called a university. Public reputation paly an increasing essentialrole in the development of university. The universities gain their reputation mostlyby high-quality educational level and outstanding alumni. Thus, universityshould spare no effort on educating students. The students can feel satisfiedwith the knowledge they got and their enhanced ability in various areas. Theeducational part is a key link in the functional chain of university.
Moreover, the universities should use mostof money to update the facilities of university and improve the user-feeling insteadof pay money on research. Every academic research is a money-cost project. Ifuniversities use that money to rebuild the campus, it will not only convey agood impression to visitors but also offer a comfortable study environment tostudents. This case is not rare, and in reality many university cannot balancetheir cost between research and education. In this way, the problem can besolved easily. To take one of my friends, who now study in a university, as an example.The students in his university always complained about the poor facilities andcould not find proper and enough place to do practice. On the contrary, the labin his university is the most fantastic place that I had ever seen. Thehigh-technological equipment can be used conveniently. However, this university’sreputation among student is bad; they all say the university looks like anacademic lab rather than a university where a good place for students to study.
Admittedly, we cannot ignore the fact thatsome university professors enjoy the experiences of research, and they chasetheir dreams by doing research. At this situation, we should not force them tofocus on education for the reason that they have their right to do research. Theprofessor also can find some professional institutions to do their research. Allin all, the nature duty of university is education, and the university shouldpay more attention on education.
Given all these detailed analysis, I firmlybelieve that professors should focus on education. Even though research canhelp them achieve their academic goal, it is an unrealistic situation for theprofessors to spend all time on research. The professor should help university gainpublic reputation and improve the level of facilities by focusing on education.

conanwang

Should university professor focus time on doing research or educating students?

It is easy to imagine people with different backgrounds and perspectives will judge it with different angles. As for me, the university professor should mainly educate students in university. Several examples will be explained to testify my vision.（直截了当进入主题，很好！）

First of all, it cannot emphasize the importance of educational role played by university too much. As we all known, University is born to spread knowledge and science to people. If the university professors pay too much attention on research, the university would lose its original faith and even cannot be called a university.（此句可可省去） Public reputation plays an increasing essential role in the development of university. The universities gain their reputation mostly by high-quality educational level and outstanding alumni. Thus, university should spare no effort on educating students. The students can feel satisfied with the knowledge they got and their enhanced ability in various areas. The educational part is a key link in the functional chain of university.

Moreover, the universities should use most of money to update the facilities of university and improve the user-feeling instead of pay money on research.（主题句似乎偏题，题目问的是whether professors should spend time，而不是whether university spend money） Every academic research is a money-cost project. If universities use that money to rebuild the campus, it will not only convey good impression to visitors but also offer a comfortable study environment to students. This case is not rare, and in reality many university cannot balance their cost between research and education. In this way, the problem can be solved easily. To take one of my friends, who now study in a university, as an example? The students in his university always complained about the poor facilities and could not find proper and enough place to do practice. On the contrary, the lain his university is the most fantastic place that I had ever seen. The high-technological equipment can be used conveniently. However, this university’s reputation among student is bad; they all say the university looks like an academic lab rather than a university where a good place for students to study.

Admittedly, we cannot ignore the fact that some university professors enjoy the experiences of research, and they chase their dreams by doing research. At this situation, we should not force them to focus on education for the reason that they have their right to do research. The professor also can find some professional institutions to do their research. Allin all(这个词组是什么意思), the nature duty of university is education and the university should pay more attention on education.（这段不错。）

Given all these detailed analysis, I firmly believe that professors should focus on education. Even though research can help them achieve their academic goal, it is an unrealistic situation for the professors to spend all time on research. The professor should help university gain public reputation and improve the level of facilities by focusing on education.（结尾不错。）


1.你有很好的开头。
2.长句很多，这很好，可是有些主题句表达不够清晰。建议复合使用长短句。
3.有些段落能扩充到近两百字，佩服。可是，你采用了五段式，中间三段应该在字数上应尽量保持平衡。


______________________________________________________________________________________________
I make a little amendment to your sentences to improve your essay’s overall flow.
I hope this will be helpful.



Several examples will be explained to testify my vision.
==>> I will use some examples to illustrate my views.

As we all known, University is born to spread knowledge and science to people.
==>> As we all know, University was designed to spread knowledge and promote science.

If the university professors pay too much attention on research, the university would lose its original faith and even cannot be called a university.
==>> If the university professors pay too much attention on research, the university would lose its original faith.


Public reputation plays an increasing essential role in the development of university.
==>> The development of university relies on the Public reputation.

Thus, university should spare no effort on educating students.
==>> Thus, scholars should spend less time in teaching students.


Every academic research is a money-cost project.
==>> Most of academic researches are expensive project.

At this situation, we should not force them to focus on education for the reason that they have their right to do research.
==>>At this situation, we should not force them to focus on education because they have right to conduct research.


The professor also can find some professional institutions to do their research.
==>> The professors can also find other research institutions to do their research. .

Allan all, the nature duty of university is education and the university should pay more attention on education.
==>>The primary task of universities is cultivating the talented. Thereby, universities should pay more attention on education.

The professor should help university gain public reputation and improve the level of facilities by focusing on education.
==>> The professors should pay more efforts on winning public reputation for the university and focus more time on education in order to improve the university facilities.

xiumu2280

谢谢修改~~ 那个词是all in all 总而言之的意思

xiumu2280

有好多 被连接起来的两个单词··· 我这WORD不知道怎么回事，一复制上来就这个样子··无视好了
TPO2
The reading and the listening upload anopposite viewpoint toward whether it is better to work in a team. The professorillustrates that several reasons mentioned in the article are questionable. Heuse a specific research conducted by a company to support his point.
First of all, the lecture contradicts thestatement in the article, which indicates that the team is work as whole, andit is unfair for the people who most contribute to the project. In other words,the accomplishment made by the team member is not equal. And those who did abetter job cannot be treated equally; they deserved richer rewarding. Theprofessor's argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Moreover, regarding the decision-makingadvantage, the professor argues that some good idea may be ignored by the teamleaders instead of being fully discussed and it takes longer time for a team toget an agreement. The team leader may also influence other co-workers' standpoint.They do not want to contend their opinion because the responsibility is sharedby the team. This do harm to the process of project. That directly contradictswhat the reading indicates.

cooperdw

The reading and the listening upload an opposite viewpoint toward whether it is better to work in a team. The professor illustrates that several reasons mentioned in the article are questionable. He uses a specific research conducted by a company to support his point.
First of all, the lecture contradicts the statement in the article, which indicates that the team is work as whole, and it is unfair for the people who most contribute to the project. In other words, the accomplishment made by the team member is not equal. And those who did a better job cannot be treated equally; they deserved richer rewarding. The professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
Moreover, regarding the decision-making advantage, the professor argues that some good idea may be ignored by the team leaders(文中没说道leader) instead of being fully discussed and it takes longer time for a team to get an agreement. The team leader may also influence other co-workers' standpoint. They do not want to contend their opinion because the responsibility is shared by the team.(文中没提到这个意思吧，或者你曲解了) This do harm to the process of project. That directly contradicts what the reading indicates.



还是太短了吧，部分观点遗漏。模板没什么问题

和我有同样的问题，笔记没有记全。观点没有梳理清楚，渐进性不强。不要写文章中没提到的

听力还是根源，综合的表达其实每个人都差不多了。关键还是看所有听到的东西是不是都表达出来了