第一次加入，第一次作文，第一次t，望大家猛拍

tracyn

The passage is talking about how the fuel cell engines are better than internal-combustion engine.第一段其实可以再长一点，点明阅读和听力的关系。

Firstly, internal combustion engine is relies on petroleum. However,（这里没有转折）petroleum is a finite resource. However In the lecture, althought the professor agree with this point., The professor also points out that the water in hydrogen-based fuel engines is unuseableunavailable. It is not easy to get from natural gas. It needs cold liquit as -253F degree.第一段中听力与阅读的关系把握的不太好,听力一般都是反驳阅读中的观点的。这种情况在考试的时候是硬伤。后面两句话与之前讲的内容联系不大，结构方面要注意。

Secondly, the passage will solve many of the world's pollution problems. The professor in the lecture agrees with it. However, the professor also told us. It will produceingpollution when generate the liquid for hydrogen-based engine. They need to burn coal and oil. It This will produce carbon dioxide too.

Thirdly, the passage toldtells(时态要一致) us that operating fuel- cell engines costs less money than operating interanl-combustion engines. On the contrary, The professor in the lecture toldtells us although it is true. However, we need to pay more money for fuel-cell engines. Because The fuel-cell engines price is much higher than that of interanl-combustion engines. The different price is enough to pay for the higher gasline.

最好有结尾总结段~~~

ioioke

谢谢rose，受益良多

The passage is talking about how the fuel cell engines are better than internal-combustion engine.第一段其实可以再长一点，点明阅读和听力的关系。

Firstly, internal combustion engine is relies on petroleum. However,（这里没有转折）petroleum is a finite resource. However In the lecture, althought the professor agree with this point., The professor also points out that the water in hydrogen-based fuel engines is unuseableunavailable. It is not easy to get from natural gas. It needs cold liquit as -253F degree.第一段中听力与阅读的关系把握的不太好,听力一般都是反驳阅读中的观点的。这种情况在考试的时候是硬伤。后面两句话与之前讲的内容联系不大，结构方面要注意。

Secondly, the passage will solve many of the world's pollution problems. The professor in the lecture agrees with it. However, the professor also told us. It will produceingpollution when generate the liquid for hydrogen-based engine. They need to burn coal and oil. It This will produce carbon dioxide too.

Thirdly, the passage toldtells(时态要一致) us that operating fuel- cell engines costs less money than operating interanl-combustion engines. On the contrary, The professor in the lecture toldtells us although it is true. However, we need to pay more money for fuel-cell engines. Because The fuel-cell engines price is much higher than that of interanl-combustion engines. The different price is enough to pay for the higher gasline.

最好有结尾总结段~~~

-- by 会员 tracyn (2012/9/6 14:13:23)

ioioke

When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following resones.

War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stop. As we all know, the first world war, and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of contries. Some contries like war, while others do not. Recours is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petorlem is finite rescouc. Some contries begin war to get more petlorlem. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war to get more petlorlem will stop when everyone could have enough petlorlem or no petlorlem at all. This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.

I think medical problems are also the most imprtant problems besides wars. Even medical tecnology is full developed. There are still some problems doctor cannot solve. Canncer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period. However, a lot cancers that doctors cannot treat. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment. While, they cannot cure caners. Cancer is the most importent problem for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time?

Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure canncer. However, I do not think the

ioioke

9月6日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.

When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.

War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all. This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.

I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period. However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment. But, they cannot cure the cancer. Cancer is the most important problem for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time?

Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.

TPO 11

The lecture mainly argues the reading passage about people reading less literature today. According the lecture, reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the professor indicates that there are a lot of high quality books such as novels amd poems which could exercise our imaginations. High quality books give readers same effect as literatures. Some people read a book instead of literature. This is the first reason to argue the passage.

Secondly, when the passage comes people spend more time to watch television, listen the music, the professor argues that culture stand as not only literature but also music. Literature stands as different form. This is the second reason to argue the passage.

Last but not the least, the professor said the reason of declined readers not readers' fault, it is authors’ fault instead. The literature written in nowadays is difficult to understand. Moreover, authors write less literature today.

羊咩咩yw

The lecture mainly argues the reading passage about people reading less literature today. According the lecture, reasons are stated as follows.(开头要把reading和listening的观点都尽量说明哟，还有就是第一句和第二句这件读起来没有联系呢~~)

First of all, the professor indicates that there are a lot of high quality books such as novels amd poems which could exercise our imaginations. （这个点和原文有出入呢~~说的是其他类型的书如科技类，历史类也能inspire people's intellectual~）High quality books give readers (the same)same effect as literatures. Some people read a book instead of literature. This is the first reason to argue the passage.

Secondly, when the passage comes people spend more time to watch television, listen the music, the professor argues that culture stand as not only literature but also music. Literature stands as different form. This is the second reason to argue the passage.(这一段的细节说到了~~可是大观点没有说到哟~~)

Last but not the（这里没有the） least, the professor said (that)the reason of declined readers not readers' fault(这个句子的语法不是很完美哟，建议改成，the reason why the supporting decline is not the readers, but the authors themselves), it is authors’ fault instead. The literature written in nowadays is difficult to understand. Moreover, authors write less literature today.


LZ的点有些出入~~字数有些少呢，250+是最适合的字数~~下次要多写一些哟。如果改得不好楼主不要介意哟~~

小兔爱twins

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.


When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.


War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries（你要表达很多国家卷入这两场战争是吧 ，，，， 为何不用一个 involved 这个词 仲有可以变换一下句型用个定语从句什么的 e-rater 不喜过多的简单句  ）. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. （这句话跟上一句和下一句都没有什么必然的联系也。。。。逻辑的问题。。）Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all. （这句虚拟语气用的有问题）This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.


I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor+s cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor+s（可数名词不要光秃秃放着） could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period.（后面这句话用个独立主格来变化句型更好 ） However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment. But, they cannot cure the cancer.（这里这几句建议用个长句组合。。） Cancer is the most important problem for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time? （童鞋你好可爱。。。。）


Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.（不还是一个点吗 不要独立分一段了。。。。。 ）


From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.


强烈建议多看看范文 用一些高分的表达
我觉得还是有很大的提升空间的  

ioioke

多谢修改，受益良多

The lecture mainly argues the reading passage about people reading less literature today. According the lecture, reasons are stated as follows.(开头要把reading和listening的观点都尽量说明哟，还有就是第一句和第二句这件读起来没有联系呢~~)

First of all, the professor indicates that there are a lot of high quality books such as novels amd poems which could exercise our imaginations. （这个点和原文有出入呢~~说的是其他类型的书如科技类，历史类也能inspire people's intellectual~）High quality books give readers (the same)same effect as literatures. Some people read a book instead of literature. This is the first reason to argue the passage.

Secondly, when the passage comes people spend more time to watch television, listen the music, the professor argues that culture stand as not only literature but also music. Literature stands as different form. This is the second reason to argue the passage.(这一段的细节说到了~~可是大观点没有说到哟~~)

Last but not the（这里没有the） least, the professor said (that)the reason of declined readers not readers' fault(这个句子的语法不是很完美哟，建议改成，the reason why the supporting decline is not the readers, but the authors themselves), it is authors’ fault instead. The literature written in nowadays is difficult to understand. Moreover, authors write less literature today.


LZ的点有些出入~~字数有些少呢，250+是最适合的字数~~下次要多写一些哟。如果改得不好楼主不要介意哟~~

-- by 会员 羊咩咩yw (2012/9/7 16:46:15)

ioioke

多谢修改，请教一下，童鞋能不能具体说说那个虚拟语气的问题，我不是很理解；黄底的前两个地方我改了一下，你帮忙看看对不对？我基础太差，你说我可爱 的那个地方，可以那么写么？谢谢


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.


When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.


War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries（你要表达很多国家卷入这两场战争是吧，，，，为何不用一个 involved 这个词仲有可以变换一下句型用个定语从句什么的 e-rater 不喜过多的简单句）. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. （这句话跟上一句和下一句都没有什么必然的联系也。。。。逻辑的问题。。）Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all.（这句虚拟语气用的有问题）This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.


I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor+s cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor+s（可数名词不要光秃秃放着） could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period.（后面这句话用个独立主格来变化句型更好） However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment, but they cannot cure the cancer.（这里这几句建议用个长句组合。。） Cancer is one of the most important problems for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time? （童鞋你好可爱。。。。）


Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.（不还是一个点吗不要独立分一段了。。。。。）

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.


When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.


War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries（你要表达很多国家卷入这两场战争是吧 ，，，， 为何不用一个 involved 这个词 仲有可以变换一下句型用个定语从句什么的 e-rater 不喜过多的简单句  ）. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. （这句话跟上一句和下一句都没有什么必然的联系也。。。。逻辑的问题。。）Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all. （这句虚拟语气用的有问题）This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.


I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor+s cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor+s（可数名词不要光秃秃放着） could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period.（后面这句话用个独立主格来变化句型更好 ） However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment. But, they cannot cure the cancer.（这里这几句建议用个长句组合。。） Cancer is the most important problem for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time? （童鞋你好可爱。。。。）


Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.（不还是一个点吗 不要独立分一段了。。。。。 ）


From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.


强烈建议多看看范文 用一些高分的表达
我觉得还是有很大的提升空间的  

-- by 会员 小兔爱twins (2012/9/7 23:31:58)

ykhjy

借了网 来看看
我觉得这篇文章审题得注意下，能不能在外面的lifetime中解决问题，lz列举了war 和medical方面的problem，我觉得角度未必合适。应该从为什么能，或者为什么不能的角度出发

多谢修改，请教一下，童鞋能不能具体说说那个虚拟语气的问题，我不是很理解；黄底的前两个地方我改了一下，你帮忙看看对不对？我基础太差，你说我可爱 的那个地方，可以那么写么？谢谢


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.


When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.


War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries（你要表达很多国家卷入这两场战争是吧，，，，为何不用一个 involved 这个词仲有可以变换一下句型用个定语从句什么的 e-rater 不喜过多的简单句）. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. （这句话跟上一句和下一句都没有什么必然的联系也。。。。逻辑的问题。。）Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all.（这句虚拟语气用的有问题）This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.


I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor+s cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor+s（可数名词不要光秃秃放着） could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period.（后面这句话用个独立主格来变化句型更好） However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment, but they cannot cure the cancer.（这里这几句建议用个长句组合。。） Cancer is one of the most important problems for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time? （童鞋你好可爱。。。。）


Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.（不还是一个点吗不要独立分一段了。。。。。）

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.


When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.


War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries（你要表达很多国家卷入这两场战争是吧 ，，，， 为何不用一个 involved 这个词 仲有可以变换一下句型用个定语从句什么的 e-rater 不喜过多的简单句  ）. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. （这句话跟上一句和下一句都没有什么必然的联系也。。。。逻辑的问题。。）Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all. （这句虚拟语气用的有问题）This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.


I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor+s cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor+s（可数名词不要光秃秃放着） could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period.（后面这句话用个独立主格来变化句型更好 ） However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment. But, they cannot cure the cancer.（这里这几句建议用个长句组合。。） Cancer is the most important problem for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time? （童鞋你好可爱。。。。）


Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.（不还是一个点吗 不要独立分一段了。。。。。 ）


From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.


强烈建议多看看范文 用一些高分的表达
我觉得还是有很大的提升空间的  

-- by 会员 小兔爱twins (2012/9/7 23:31:58)

-- by 会员 ioioke (2012/9/8 10:50:26)

ioioke

多谢ykh的意见，话说在我写完这篇文章的时候就发现这个问题。感觉我说的这两个方面更适合在分论点里面做例子。是不是这样

借了网 来看看
我觉得这篇文章审题得注意下，能不能在外面的lifetime中解决问题，lz列举了war 和medical方面的problem，我觉得角度未必合适。应该从为什么能，或者为什么不能的角度出发

多谢修改，请教一下，童鞋能不能具体说说那个虚拟语气的问题，我不是很理解；黄底的前两个地方我改了一下，你帮忙看看对不对？我基础太差，你说我可爱 的那个地方，可以那么写么？谢谢


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.


When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.


War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries（你要表达很多国家卷入这两场战争是吧，，，，为何不用一个 involved 这个词仲有可以变换一下句型用个定语从句什么的 e-rater 不喜过多的简单句）. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. （这句话跟上一句和下一句都没有什么必然的联系也。。。。逻辑的问题。。）Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all.（这句虚拟语气用的有问题）This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.


I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor+s cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor+s（可数名词不要光秃秃放着） could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period.（后面这句话用个独立主格来变化句型更好） However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment, but they cannot cure the cancer.（这里这几句建议用个长句组合。。） Cancer is one of the most important problems for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time? （童鞋你好可爱。。。。）


Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.（不还是一个点吗不要独立分一段了。。。。。）

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.


When it comes to whether the most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime, some think it will happen, the others believe it will not. I prefer the latter as following reasons.


War! First of all, we all know war in history and in today. War never stops. As we all know, the first world war and the second world war are famous in our history and include a lot of countries（你要表达很多国家卷入这两场战争是吧 ，，，， 为何不用一个 involved 这个词 仲有可以变换一下句型用个定语从句什么的 e-rater 不喜过多的简单句  ）. Some countries like to begin war, while others do not. （这句话跟上一句和下一句都没有什么必然的联系也。。。。逻辑的问题。。）Recourse is the main reason for wars. Nowadays, we all know petroleum is finite resource. Some countries begin war to get more petroleum. Do you think this kind of war will stop in our lifetime? I think war fighting for more petroleum will stop when everyone could have enough petroleum or no petroleum at all. （这句虚拟语气用的有问题）This is the first reason I disagree with the problem as stated.


I think medical problems are also the most important problems besides wars. Even medical technology is fully developed. There are still some problems doctor+s cannot solve. Cancer, for example, is the most important problem in medical history. Right now, doctor+s（可数名词不要光秃秃放着） could cure breast cancer when it was found in early period.（后面这句话用个独立主格来变化句型更好 ） However, most cancers cannot be treated by doctors. Doctors could only extend people's life via medical treatment. But, they cannot cure the cancer.（这里这几句建议用个长句组合。。） Cancer is the most important problem for a long time. Do you expect it will be solved in our life time? （童鞋你好可爱。。。。）


Well, it could happen for some kind of cancers. Doctors are still working on them. We all hope doctors could find a way to cure cancer. However, I do not think the opportunity is big.（不还是一个点吗 不要独立分一段了。。。。。 ）


From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the most important problem could not be solved in our lifetime.


强烈建议多看看范文 用一些高分的表达
我觉得还是有很大的提升空间的  

-- by 会员 小兔爱twins (2012/9/7 23:31:58)

-- by 会员 ioioke (2012/9/8 10:50:26)

-- by 会员 ykhjy (2012/9/9 21:48:51)