第一次写argument 求指点---argument25 jazz club in Monroe 那篇

eeeeason

第一次写argument 求指点---argument25 jazz club in Monroe 那篇
题目：
The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. "A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment." Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


正文 495字 40分钟
In this argument the arguer comes to theconclusion that a jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitableenterprise. The arguer also points out that, considering the nearest jazz clubis sixty-five miles away, there are abundant demands for the consumption of theclub. However, close scrutiny of this argument reveals that it is unconvincingin several aspects.

To begin with, the claim that jazz music isextremely popular in Monroe with over one hundred thousand people attendingMonroe's annual jazz festival last year must be showed to be reliable. However,the arguer shows no information about the individuals participated in thefestival. Moreover, with the mere number of people in the festival as evidence,it is entirely probable that that they are not even living in Monroe, whichrenders the inference based on it highly suspect.

In addition, the arguer overlooks a myriadof other possible reasons that might weaken the argument. Common senses tellsus that the fact of several well-known jazz musician living in Monroe does notnecessarily indicate that they are willing to perform at the club, which thuswould have some influence of the customers coming to the club and, to someextent, affect the profits. Moreover, the arguer unfairly assumes that the highpopularity of the radio program Jazz Nightly, which airs every night at sevenP.M, suggests that people who are interested in listening to the radio arewilling to enjoy the vivid dynamic atmosphere in the club. Whereas, it isentirely possible that these radio audience would go to listen to jazz on theinternet or buy some CDs to enjoy the music at home rather than going to theclub, which is both expensive and inconvenient.

Finally, the arguer unfairly claims thatthe nationwide study is applicable in Monroe as well, this again casts doubt onthe argument that setting up a club is profitable. First, the arguer fails toprove the reliability of the study, such as the information of the individualsto testify whether they are representative of the jazz fans. Second, withoutshowing the economic conditions and the nationwide average economic level, theargument of profitable income of the club and close to one thousand dollars thefans are willing to spend on the entertainment might not be cogent at all. Onthe consequence, these logical flaws lend little support to prove the argumentto be valid.

In sum, the conclusion reached in theargument is invalid and misleading. To make it logically acceptable, the arguershould have to demonstrate that there are actually plentiful people who arelikely to consume at the club. Moreover, I would suspend my judgment about thecredibility of this argument until the arguer can provide more information aboutthe local economic conditions and the detailed information about the nationwidestudy, for example, the economic situations in Monroe typify the nationwide conditionsand jazz fans in Monroe would like to spend much money on jazz.





顺便问一句 自己通过范文还有南大牛人5.5拼的模板会影响得分吗？