issue 32,求拍

kcc9394

第一篇ISSUE，写得很烂，也花了很长时间。。。
32.College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.大学生应该选择那些容易找到工作的研究领域

Nowadays there is a growing concern about whether college students should make their choices of field to study upon the prospect of that field in job hunting. In any situations, student should take profound consideration of the availability of job that relate to the subject they choose. However, it is also undeniable that students have their rights to pursuit their interested study field.
Admittedly, our choice about what to study depends in large parts on job factors. On one hand, since many positions required particular skills or knowledge and employers usually prefer to hire those with advanced degrees. Many students decide to go to university simply aim to get a bachelor degree and then get a satisfied, not for their interest in study. Consequently, numerous students choose their study field upon the related availability of jobs. On the other hand,  the economic base often  determines the superstructure. Without a rich salary we could not afford live off ourselves. Daily demand, heath care, housing and so on, these are placing great pressure to today's youth, and they are getting more and more expensive. For this reason, we could defined students who choose their study field base on the prospect of jobs is entirely justifiable.
However,  a justifiable action have nothing to do with a necessary action. We are not to blame anyone who do not choose their study according job factors, since students should always have their rights to pursuit their interested field of study. And it is often the case that students who are deeply interested in an area would be more actively and efficiently in their study of such area. Charles Robert Darwin is a paradigmatic example. Obstructed by his father, he did not formally study anything about biology in school. Whereas, his early interest in nature led him to neglect his medical education at the University of Edinburgh; instead, he helped to investigate marine invertebrates. Studies at the University of Cambridge encouraged his passion for natural science. Admittedly, his great fever of exploring natural science was the most important contributor to his evolutionary theory, one of the most revolutionary founding of the 18 century.
Besides, there are limited number of subject that could fit with the suggestion of the statement, so does the number of vacancy available in those areas. If all students are instigated to choose these fields of study, they will be trapped into a fierce competition of job hunting when they graduate. And the so-called advantages that these subjects are marked with higher availability of jobs will no longer exist.
Yet, the two facets between job factors and individuals' interest are not mutually exclusive. To avoid such a dilemma, we should develop out multifarious interests in consistence with those popular fields as possible. Then we could easily adapt to study which is vogue in the job market. Of course, to pursuit a interest based job that is not hot in the job market is by no mean unwise. There is an old saying called: each job has proper champion, and the advantage of a less fierce competition in the related job market is likely to compensate.
From what we discussed above, the suggestion the author gives is reasonable to certain extent. Meanwhile, we should foster multiple interests and integrate our interests and the availability of jobs. Then, a win-win success can be made.

kcc9394

自己顶~

竹林中人

In any ?situations?不用复数。
that relate这里应当是 that is related
However, it is also undeniable这句话表明你的观点是后者，
Many students decide to go to university simply aim to get a bachelor degree 这里有两个谓语
could not afford live off ourselves？？
Daily demand, heath care, housing and so on, these are placing great 这之间需要有连接词的
we could defined students ？？？
who choose their study field base on the prospect of jobs is entirely justifiable. 这句话你的谓语到底是什么？
that these subjects are marked with higher availability of jobs这个定语从句看不到你想修饰哪个词

竹林中人

你写句子的时候太多出现谓语不明以及成分混乱的情况，建议先不要试图写长句，等你能写对每一个句子再写长句吧。
另外你的手段需要修改下，因为就你的内容，你的观点在首段没有明显地体现。
另外，在论述的过程中，注意内容上的层次关系，前面对选择学习领域要看就业前景这点，不应该过分强调，只需对这个表面上看似成立的结论做点可能的合理性解释就行。而重点应当是你后文提到的兴趣为主（毕竟没有兴趣，工作前景再好实力不行也是不好的）以及这个建议可能带来的坏的影响

kcc9394

多谢版主~~~我会加倍努力的了