[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE130◆◆◆

Across

Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Most kids love to play sports. It is important to them, but for the majority, it is just one type of activity out of many that they do. For a small number of kids, though, a sport becomes their whole life. They spend almost all their time and energy practicing. This has both advantages and disadvantages.

Sports are good for young children in many ways. Kids who enjoy sports are likely to have better health. They develop good habits of daily exercise that will keep them healthy as adults, too. Today, many children and adults are overweight, but those who love sports stay in shape. Plus, by developing their physical abilities, they will learn how to wok hard towards a goal. Their achievements in sports will make them feel good about themselves. They will also make friends and learn teamwork. Sports, whether a little or a lot, can have positive effects.

We admire the talent and dedication of young athletes, but we also wonder if they are losing something. Their focus is very narrow. If they devote most of their time to sports, are they neglecting schoolwork? What about other interests? Children should try out many different activities. In addition, many young athletes are pressured by parents or coaches to succeed. Kids whose drive comes from inside usually do okay, but others can be unhappy and have health and emotional problems. So sports, like anything else in excess, can have negative effects too.

When I was young, I liked books and hated sports. I saw other people who loved sports and hated school. Now that I am older, I have found a better balance. People have to figure out what’s right for them. Is there such a thing as too much sports? There is no right answer, because there is no “right amount.” Everyone is different.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-10-26 3:28:39编辑过]

Across

少了个调和的锻炼。 写50%50%的文章， 调和段落很重要。

扯一缕阳光温茶

加油!!

鼓励一下.虽然我的水平还不能给你的文章增加文采.

snow_mountain

感谢pumpkin的热心。

不过，我始终觉得这个修改需要大手术。 你帖的文章， 大多数都是不好不坏的那种。 不知道哪里下手该好。

我的一点意见，不如保留他们的原样，让大家各抒己见。该讨伐的讨伐。该赞美的赞美。 这样反而更好。对于优秀范文， 宁缺勿烂。

Across

是啊， 当然保留原样啊， 要的就是评语

snow_mountain

哦。 偶还以为是原来那种动手术的修改呢。