[求助]11月就要考了今天第一次作文请帮忙改一下好吗？TWE002

superdaisy

今天花了一个小时才写好的，之前没看任何范文，觉得心里好没底啊，不知道这样的水平能得几分，而且花了这么多时间才写好，劳烦大家帮忙批改一下啦。在此先谢过了!!!

2. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  I do belive that parents are the best teachers.There is no doubt about this statement if you have seen the following reasons I'd  like to list here.

  First of all,everyone has his/her own parents,and more or less he/she has been affected by them.This effect can be thought to have been taken from his/her born and last forever.Just think of all of your teachers whom you called "teachers", there is probably no such ones who accompany you for such a long time as your parents do.Also,it is your parents who tought you to say "mommy"and eat as a normal person do when you were still a little baby,but you have learned almost all the basic things indeed,in spite of your young age. A miracle but you have made it ,isn't it?

  arents can give us helps and instructions in almost all respects of our lives, because of their special identity.Either the way to use a microwave oven, or not playing loud music when someone else is sleeping,we could receive from our parents.Those teachers in schools are more likely to teach us the way to solve an integral problem,or the reason sound transfer faster in solid than in fluid.Which is the more basic knowledge we need to know?It is certainly the way of daily life, which we could learn from the behaviors of our parents.

  The most unselfish teachers are our parents as well.They just regard this kind of giving as "love",never thinking of rewards.How wonderful they are!

  To sum up,in my opinion,parents are the best teachers in our lives,far better than others.Having them is the greatest lucky thing for me , and forever.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-10-22 14:05:34编辑过]

soaring

以下是引用superdaisy在2004-10-22 14:02:00的发言：

今天花了一个小时才写好的，之前没看任何范文，觉得心里好没底啊，不知道这样的水平能得几分，而且花了这么多时间才写好，劳烦大家帮忙批改一下啦。在此先谢过了!!!

2. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  I do belive that parents are the best teachers.There is no doubt about this statement if you have seen(read好些) the following reasons I'd （注意TWE中尽量不要用缩写，改成I would,正规些） like to list here.（开头不错，开门见山，不套模版，估计ETS还是会眼前一亮的）

  First of all,everyone has his/her own parents,and more or less he/she has been affected by them.This effect can be thought to have been taken from his/her born and last forever.Just think of （that) all of your teachers whom you called "teachers", there is （偶觉得用would be好些) probably (probable) no such ones who (would) accompany you for such a long time as your parents do.Also,it is your parents who tought you to say "mommy"and eat as a normal person do when you were still a little baby,but(对这个词的用法，偶不明白，放在这里什么意思呢） you have learned almost all the basic things indeed,in spite of your young age（indeed和后面的语意重复）. A miracle but you have made it ,isn't it?

  arents can give us helps and instructions in almost all respects of our lives, because of their special identity.Either the way to use a microwave oven, or not playing loud music when someone else is sleeping,we could receive from our parents.Those teachers in schools are more likely to teach us the way to solve an integral problem,or the reason sound transfer faster in solid than in fluid.Which is the more basic knowledge we need to know?It is certainly the way of daily life, which we could learn from the behaviors of our parents.（不错不错）

  The most unselfish teachers are our parents as well.They just regard this kind of giving as "love",never thinking of rewards.How wonderful （这个词再研究一下）they are!

  To sum up,in my opinion,parents are the best teachers in our lives,far better than others.Having them is the greatest lucky thing for me , and forever.

感觉MM功底还是很好的，没怎么套模版，看上去挺好~~

没什么大问题，每段开头也不错，偶比较喜欢的说~~

再连连，高分不是问题~~~~

soaring

提醒一句：要注意字数~~

可以举些例子的~

superdaisy

Thanks a lot!!!

你的建议对我来说很宝贵哦。实际上我写的时候也觉得有些思维混乱，想不起什么具体的例子，真怕考试时会这样。

你是觉得字数多了吗？我觉得半个小时要写完确实有些困难呢。

谢谢谢谢！

soaring

字数还是合适的，这篇。

高分作文字数也是关键。350-400，或以上

加油加油~