求各位大神拍砖我的 tpo3独立写作

唐尸三摆手

我自己已经改过一遍了。
红色的是改过的，红色前的加粗字体是改之前的。
加粗且加下划线的是想向大神请教的，怎么写的地道点？
it ismore important to keep you old friends than it is to make new friends?
In contemporary society, we are meeting different people every day, and maybe we meet someone has the same hobbit to us, has some merits we admire, so we are willing to make friends with them. There is some people even said that the new friend will give our (us) more power than the old one, so we should focus on making new friends.
Tempting such a claim it sounds, but it can hardly be true. Although I have to confess, a stranger maybe have many things we are longing for or we don't know, such as investment information or a new innovation which is promising, and seizing these all are chances we can improve ourselves, or harvest some profit from it, I must say that the old friends are more important to us with following reasons. (We cannot emphasize the importance of the old friends too much.)
First, the old friends which (whom) we have selected from many strangers is more effective communicators. After all we have screened out the people we would not have the inspiration (aspiration) to talk to. An effective communicator means that they know what I'm thinking according（because） he have the same thinking function and he know when he should change the way we（he） uses to communicate with me in oder(order) to make me can grasp his idea easily. When you are exchanging your idea with somebody, concentrating (considering) the method you depend on to express your opinion is always a bothering thing because you have to divide your ability (mind) to such things rather than dedicating in (do your utmost to express) the thing itself you are talking about.
Furthermore, old friends have their old function to get along with each other. Keeping how much space with your friend is a skillful work, only the old friends who have practice this test many times know what degree he behave is appropriate. So it's safer to your secret while you are getting along with your old friends. In addition to respect your individual (private) issues, old friends can sympathize you better. When you do something wrong, they will not punish you easily and audaciously, instead of telling you why you are wrong and how you can correct this fault. Such a sophiscating old friend will promote you to a higher level in your whole life. (lift you to a new height).
On contrast to the new information which has not been selected and seems disordered from the new friends, the information provided from the old friends is more suitable to your appetite. Because you are affinity with such information, you can categorize them in the right place accurately which (where) you can pick them up quickly when you want to take use of them. It's more convenient (it’s conceivable that the information from the old friends is more convenient to us). Also, old friends know what you need. When they meet some things total strange to your small circle, these friends who are warm-hearted will consider whether this information suit you and transfer it to you more efficiently.
With above all statement, I don’t think old friend is negligible. Anyone think they are useless is ignorant.

追梦CY

写作材料练习机经更好
建议楼主再编辑一下文字 改的和没改的看着不是很明显 加油

唐尸三摆手

好，我是word复制粘贴过来的，第一次发帖，所以没转换过来，不好意思。我是做tpo，写的作文，为什么用鸡精比较好？多谢你的建议~