一战Fair. 每日作文贴，求拍。

上善若水1018

0802作业：

综合：
The passage claims that the several findings in the T.rex's leg bone seem to be the remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix. However, the speaker in the lecture doesn't agree with the conclusion made by the passage.

First, the speaker points out that the finding of branching channels and soft substance are unnecessarily related to remains of blood vessels. It can be something else.  It can be simply traces of moisture residues left by bacteria.

Second, the passage claims that the presence of spheres could be the remains of red blood cells. However, the speaker cites that those spheres are also found in fossils of other animals that does not have red blood cells. Thus the presence of spheres is not necessarily to demonstrate the existence of red blood cells. The speaker thus assumes that the spheres in the inner bone can be some other residue material.

Finally, the speaker casts doubt on the findings of collagen in the last paragraph of the passage. Collagen cannot last more than 1,000 years. It is very doubtful that how scientists can test the existence of collagen in a leg bone of more than 70 billion years ago. The speaker, therefore, presume the collagen may come from the skin of researcher, which contains collagen.

独立：
题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is often nota goodthing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends.
习作：
We face changes and have to make choices in our daily life. If there is a chance for you to live in a new city or a new country, how will you evaluate this chance? Some people believe that it is often not good because of the worry of losing old friends.  My view is that those people are overanxious and fail to realize the benefits from new place.

Indeed, it is a pity to lose old friends because you leave the city where your friends stay. In the old days, distance means losing connections.  eople are not able to hang out with their friends who are hundreds kilometers away.  eople even lose the chance to chat with their friends.  The link of the friendship is cut by distance. Moreover, friendship is one of the most essential and valuable relationship in our lives. We cannot imagine our life without friends.  Thus moving is really not a good idea to move at this aspect.

However, moving to a new city can bring much more benefits. A new city or new country may means better education, more job chances, better medical conditions and even new friends.  I would like to use myself as a good example. To complete my university education, I moved to Shanghai from my hometown, which is more than one thousand kilometres far away from Shanghai. If I stayed in my home town, I would never get chance to go to university, because there is just simply no college or university in such a tiny town.  I would not be able to get a chance to work with people all over the world such as Europe, America, Africa and Oceania. I cannot imagine what my life will look like if I never leave my hometown. The medical condition is also much better than that of my home town, because Shanghai has better quality medical devices, much more hospitals, more professional doctors and so on.

Additionally, in nowadays, thankful for the development of technology, moving to a new place does not necessarily means we will lose our old friends. We can use phone to call each other no matter where we are, as long as there is signal. We also have internet tools, such as MSN, Skype, Facebook, not only to talk with our friends, but also to share our daily life vividly.  I am a very good example. I connected with all my old friends with QQ, a Chinese IM tool.  We can chat and video to each other freely by internet. Moreover, by checking the status I posted, my friends who are 2000km away can even know what I had for breakfast. The distance does not weaken our friendship at all.  

Losing friends is indeed very sad for everyone. However, we cannot simply omit the benefits - education, career, medicals, etc - brought by moving to new cities or countries. Moreover, today's technology makes us enjoy the benefits without losing old friends. Therefore, we cannot make the conclusion that it is not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

We face changes and have to make choices in our daily life. If there is a chance for you to live in a new city or a new country, how will you evaluate this chance? Some people believe that it is often not good because of the worry of losing old friends.  My view is that those people are overanxious and fail to realize the benefits from new place（a new place or new places）.

Indeed, it is a pity to lose old friends because you leave the city where your friends stay. In the old days, distance means losing connections. People are not able to hang out with their friends who are hundreds kilometers away.(这句要用过去式吧？)  eople even lose the chance to chat with their friends (加个face to face，觉得好一点). The link of the friendship is cut by distance. Moreover, friendship is one of the most essential and valuable relationships in our lives. We cannot imagine our life without friends.  Thus moving is really not a good idea to move at this aspect.

However, moving to a new city can bring much more benefits. A new city or new country may means better education, more job chances, better medical conditions and even new friends.  I would like to use myself as a good example. To complete my university education, I moved to Shanghai from my hometown, which is more than one thousand kilometres far away from Shanghai（这个就是多余了哈）. If I stayed in my hometown, I would never get (the用冠词特指下) chance to go to （a）university, because there is just simply no college or university in such a tiny town.  I would not be able to get a chance to work with people all over the world such as Europe, America, Africa and Oceania too（与上句连接一下了）. I cannot imagine what my life will look like if I never leave my hometown. The medical condition is also much better than that of my home town, because Shanghai has better quality medical devices, much more hospitals, more professional doctors and so on.

Additionally, in（去掉） nowadays, thankful for the development of technology, moving to a new place does not necessarily means we will lose our old friends. We can use phones to call each other no matter where we are, as long as there is signal （available）. We also have internet tools, such as MSN, Skype, Facebook, not only to talk with our friends, but also to share our daily life vividly.  I am a very good example. I connected with all my old friends with QQ, a Chinese IM tool.  We can chat and video to each other freely by internet. Moreover, by checking the status I posted, my friends who are 2000km away can even know what I had for breakfast. The distance does not weaken our friendship at all.  

Losing friends is indeed very sad （thing） for everyone. However, we cannot simply omit the benefits - education, career, medicals, etc - brought by moving to new cities or countries. Moreover, today's technology makes us enjoy the benefits without losing old friends. Therefore, we cannot make the conclusion that it is not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country.

上善的作文很好啊。貌似我们都是小毛病。一起进步哈

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The passage claims that the several findings in the T.rex's leg bone seem to be the remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix. However, the speaker in the lecture doesn't agree with the conclusion made by the passage.

First, the speaker points out that the finding of branching channels and soft substance are unnecessarily related to remains of blood vessels. It can be something else.  It can be simply traces of moisture residues left by bacteria.

Second, the passage claims that the presence of spheres could be the remains of red blood cells. However, the speaker cites that those spheres are also found in fossils of other animals that does not have red blood cells（这里是不是还要强调一下aniamls in the same place and they did not have red blood cells when they were alive）. Thus the presence of spheres is not necessarily to demonstrate the existence of red blood cells. The speaker thus assumes that the spheres in the inner bone can be some other residue material.

Finally, the speaker casts doubt on the findings of collagen in the last paragraph of the passage. Collagen cannot last more than 1,000 years. It is very doubtful that how scientists can test the existence of collagen in a leg bone of more than 70 billion years ago. The speaker, therefore, presume the collagen may come from the skin of researchers 或者是the researcher. , which contains collagen.

建议注意下冠词用法。其他就没什么了。细节更加注意些就好，听力的一些细节。

上善若水1018

上善的作文很好啊。貌似我们都是小毛病。一起进步哈

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/8/3 11:06:10)

我最大的问题就是没题材。找不到足够的论点论据，唉。

kchszy061ban

上善的作文很好啊。貌似我们都是小毛病。一起进步哈

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/8/3 11:06:10)

我最大的问题就是没题材。找不到足够的论点论据，唉。

-- by 会员 上善若水1018 (2012/8/3 13:23:44)

其实论点什么的不要求全，只要自圆其说就好了。 那么短的时间内不可能想到那么多。要不就一个论点分两方面说。然后再来个反面论述。 比如一个从个人讲学生做作业靠自己，一个从父母角度讲靠自己。然后再来个反面论述， 再加上例子就很足够500字了啊。

上善若水1018

8月5日
综合
The passage claims that the several findings in the paintingportrait a woman's face suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt. However,the speaker's attitude in the lecture is opposite to the conclusion made by thepassage.

First, the speaker doubts that the inconsistency referred inthe passage is a warranted proof. She points out that the fur collar was notcontained in Rembrandt's original painting and was actually added by someoneelse 100 years after the original painting was done. Thus we cannot draw theconclusion that the painting was not Rembrandt’ work.  

Second, the passage claims that the light and show of thepainting do not fit each other, because the face should appear partially inshadow.  However, the speaker arguesthat, in the original painting, the collar reflects the light to the face, thusthe face should have been how it appears now.

Finally, the speaker points out that the painting waspainted on a whole piece of wood. The painting was glued together by someoneelse later in order to sell the painting at a higher price. She also cites thefinding that the wood panels of the painting even came from the same tree asthat of other works by Recasts.

上善若水1018

0805 独立
这个题目憋了我5、6个小时啊，算是作弊了
Nowadays, movies and television have become an inalienable part of our daily life. Our lifestyles, particularly which of young people, are affected by movies and television. And therefore, some people cast their worries: Will movies and television have more negative effects on young people's behaviour? In my point of view, movies and television play more positive than negative role in young people's behaviour, especially if under adult's correct conduction.

Indeed, young people's behaviour is affected negatively by some of today's movies and television, which are filled with violence. Young people tend to copy the behaviour of a “hero” in movies and television. However, most of them are not matured enough to tell the goodies and baddies.  A recent survey indicates that majority of the young people's crimes are caused by those imitations to the “cool kills” presented by the roles. Therefore I admit that movies and television have really bad influences.

However, the imitation to the roles in a movie or TV show can also contribute positive effects to children.  My nephew was once among the "bad" students who are always escaping from school. His teachers and parents tried many methods to create his interest in study, but all ended with no success. However, since the comedy series, The Big Bang Theory, broadcasted on TV, my nephew suddenly behaved like someone else.  Due to his worship to Sheldon, a role in The Big Bang Theory, my nephew built a great interest in physics.  He studies physics both in school and his spare time. He even designed and led several successful physical experiments and became one of the top students in his class. In this case, we can see how television can affect a children's behaviour in positive way.

Moreover, parents play a more important role to decide which way, positive or negative, that movies and televisions will affect children. Parents can watch movies and televisions with their children together, sharing their views on the content and letting children know why the roles in the movies and television behave in a certain way. Such kind communication can enhance children to accept a positive concept in a much easier way.  Therefore, movies and televisions do help children build right value of the world and behaviour.

In conclusion, a coin has two sides. Movies and television indeed have some bad influences on young people. However, positive influences plays greater role than negative influences, especially if adults can conduct their children in a proper way.

sherryzhangh

不太会改,请见谅. 综合主要是练听力和转述能力
The passage claims that the several findings in the painting portrait a woman's face suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt. However, the speaker's attitude in the lecture is opposite to the conclusion made by the passage.

First, the speaker doubts that the inconsistency referred in the passage is a warranted proof. She points out that the fur collar was not contained in Rembrandt's original painting and was actually added by someone else 100 years after the original painting was done. Thus we cannot draw the conclusion that the painting was not Rembrandt’ work.  

Second, the passage claims that the light and show of the painting do not fit each other, because the face should appear partially in shadow.  However, the speaker argues that, in the original painting, the collar reflects the light to the face, thus the face should have been how it appears now. (这一段我也没有听太清楚，好像说的是伦布朗是用光的大师，可是这幅画上的光线呀，没有显示出这是伦布朗的水平。然后老师说original 是一幅非常简单的画，采光很简单，很现实。所以是他自己的画)

Finally, the speaker points out that the painting was painted on a whole piece of wood. The painting was glued together by someone else later in order to sell the painting at a higher price (这个好像没有提到吧, 说是Enlarged it and make it grander than original 最好不要改变意思，综合不需要意见及引申观点). She also cites the finding that the wood panels of the painting even came from the same tree as that of other famous work by RecastsRembrandt, which is a self-portrait, with a hat.

Vance1991

Nowadays, movies and television have become an inalienable part of our daily life(lives). Our lifestyles, particularly which of young people, are affected by movies and television. And therefore, some people cast their worries: Will movies and television have more negative effects on young people's behaviour? In my point of view, movies and television play more positive than negative role in young people's behaviour(behavior), especially if under adult's correct conduction.

Indeed, young people's behaviour is affected negatively by some of today's movies and television, which are filled with violence. Young people tend to copy the behaviour of a “hero” in movies and television. However, most of them are not matured enough to tell the goodies and baddies.  A recent survey indicates that majority of the young people's crimes are caused by those(those指代什么?去掉比较通顺) imitations to the “cool kills” presented by the roles. Therefore I admit that movies and television have really bad influences.

However, the imitation to the roles in a movie or TV show can also contribute positive effects to children.  My nephew was once among the "bad" students(你可以直接说是bad students 可能会更好) who are always escaping from school. His teachers and parents tried many methods to create his interest in study, but all ended with no success. However, since the comedy series, The Big Bang Theory, broadcasted on TV, my nephew suddenly behaved like someone else.  Due to his worship to Sheldon, a role in The Big Bang Theory, my nephew built a great interest in physics.  He studies(studied) physics both in school and his spare time. He even designed and led several successful physical experiments and became one of the top students in his class. In this case, we can see how television can affect a children's behaviour in positive way. (楼主的例子很不错啊!)

Moreover, parents play a more important role to decide which way, positive or negative, that movies and televisions will affect (on) children. Parents can watch movies and televisions with their children together, sharing their views on the content and letting children know why the roles in the movies and television behave in a certain way. Such kind communication can enhance children to accept a positive concept in a much easier way.  Therefore, movies and televisions do help children build right value of the world and behaviour.

In conclusion, a coin has two sides(这句话不能用,老外会很鄙视的...). Movies and television indeed have some bad influences on young people. However, positive influences plays(play) greater role than negative influences, especially if adults can conduct their children in a proper way.


首先真的很抱歉那么晚给你批,因为昨天家里的无线出了点问题,破电脑一直收不到~

楼主的作文写的不错,例子很贴切.
不过句式,词汇有点贫乏,要多注意一下.加油!

上善若水1018

Nowadays, movies and television have become an inalienable part of our daily life(lives). Our lifestyles, particularly which of young people, are affected by movies and television. And therefore, some people cast their worries: Will movies and television have more negative effects on young people's behaviour? In my point of view, movies and television play more positive than negative role in young people's behaviour(behavior), especially if under adult's correct conduction.


In conclusion, a coin has two sides(这句话不能用,老外会很鄙视的...). Movies and television indeed have some bad influences on young people. However, positive influences plays(play) greater role than negative influences, especially if adults can conduct their children in a proper way.


首先真的很抱歉那么晚给你批,因为昨天家里的无线出了点问题,破电脑一直收不到~

楼主的作文写的不错,例子很贴切.
不过句式,词汇有点贫乏,要多注意一下.加油!

-- by 会员 Vance1991 (2012/8/6 11:19:46)

为什么a coin has two sides会被鄙视啊...

我这个例子是看到有人写阿甘，体会到了人生道理神马神马的，那些单词我都不认识不会写。灵机一动，找了个流行肥皂剧，哈哈。