一篇argument的题目，麻烦大家进来看看写作思路，顺便给作文提点意见

Johnsonjz

ARGUMENT1 - On average, 9 out of every 1,000 passengers who traveled on Avia Airlines last year filed a complaint about our baggage-handling procedures. This means that although some 1 percent of our passengers were unhappy with those procedures, the overwhelming majority were quite satisfied with them; thus it would appear that a review of the procedures is not important to our goal of maintaining or increasing the number of Avia’s passengers.



思路：
1 投诉率低不代表不满意的少，有可能是投诉渠道少导致的
2 上文数字只是平均数，但不一定每个airline都是如此，可能有一两个航线投诉率特别高
3 review procedure 可以扩大影响力，吸引更多的乘客


以下是作文
The argument is trying to establish logical relationship between the low rate of complaint of a certain procedure and the necessity to reveiew the precedures. It seems that the article is well written, but the proofs it has stated as evidence and the method used, however, still involves some fallacies that make the article not so convincing as it appears by presenting a hasty generalization, presuming that all things are equal and establishing a fase causal relation.


First of all, the author concluded that a low rate of complaint represents a high rate of satisaction, but this conclusion is based on the assumption that every passenger who felt dissatisfied with the procedure would later made a complaint and the complaint channels were available to everyone. Looking through the context, we can see that this kind of prerequisite is not even mentioned, casting the most doubt on it. Therefore, the conclusion without such foundation is not properly drawn, since the possibility that only a small percentage of the dissatisfied passengers successfully made a complaint is not excluded.


Secondly, even the 9 passengers represent all the displeased passenger who successfully made the complaint, the author still neglected that the number is just an average mean. Disparities among different airlines in various airports still exist. The possibility could be that one line has a far higher-than-average rate of complaint while the others has a far lower-than-average rate. Without the possibility taken into consideration, the conclusion that there is no need to improve the service.


Last but not least, the author stated that a review of the procedure is not important in maintaining or inceasing the passenger. But things could happen in this way: a review in the procedure could promote the airline's publicity, thus attracting more people.


In conclusion, the author fails to provide adequate proofs supporting the conclusion. As it stands, the reasoning  does not comply with the logic regulation. To strengthen the argument, we need much more detailed information about the complaint and the real concern of the customers, and then we could evaluate whether such practice will really promote passengers to take the airline.

圣萝卜

我觉得结果上可以再加一条，
投诉的人少，很可能有的人不投诉直接就回转向其他航空公司

gudjohnssen

还可以加一条 （不知道对不对）

论证中没有提到这个survey的有效性。被调查的人群是否具有代表性？（只调查了学生，或者公司高管）

francoisyang

加一条，0.9%是去年的，现在可能更高