[求助]偶在挤牙膏>.<...TWE029

Bojja

As the time goes by, more and more civilization and urbanization are done in this Earth. Some people think the Earth is being harmed by those human activities, while others feel that human movements make the Earth a better place to live. By my observation, I think our environment here in this Earth is getting worse.

Earth, the beautiful planet, took billion and billion years to form. In the whole solar system, it is the only planet suitable for human beings to live in. Before human appeared in this world, there was ample natural wealth: plenty of different plants, various animals and abundant mineral resources. Though there occurred the law of the jungle, the environment seems could be attain the balance by itself.

Take a look of the Earth at this time. We invented different kinds of things to make our life more convenient, however, those things are not so perfect. They have caused a serious impact on our Earth. There are many kinds of pollution that threaten people’s health nowadays. The cars make the air polluted, and factories produce water wasted. The next generations of human beings don’t have as many natural environments as their ancestor had anymore. The woods disappeared in a horrible speed to make furniture and paper products; as the environments been destroyed, many species cannot survive and are extinct. Every of the circumstance, is made by humans, the most intelligent beings in this Earth.

If we want to keep this place to be used eternally, we have to make our activities more carefully. We have to grow the trees while we cut any of them; we have to cautiously make any constructional plans; and the most important thing is, we have to treat any beings as ourselves, take this planet as our home. If people can have the perspective to protect our environment, than they will not do any harmful activities to the Earth.

To conclude it, I think it is not the problem that human activities make the Earth better or worse, it is the issue that if people do their activities wisely or not. By now, we human beings didn’t do a good job on it, however, more and more people are conscious of the problems, and I believe the Earth will recover the previous scenery by more sophisticated operation in the future.

谢谢大家

guandream

I will come back.

guandream

以下是引用Bojja在2004-10-15 12:35:00的发言：

As the time goes by, more and more civilization and urbanization are done in this Earth. civilization and urbanization become part of  phenenoma in the human history. Some people think the Earth is being harmed by those human activities, while others feel that human movements make the Earth a better place to live. By according to my observation, I think that our environment here in this Earth is getting worse.(the topic sentence is not good. in this topic, the issue is about how the earth is about living place, not about the environment( that is a supporting point)

Earth, the beautiful planet, took billion and billion years to form. In the whole solar system, it is the only planet suitable for human beings to live in.(haha...scientists try to find another place for human, but you tell them that you can not find that place) Before human appeared in this world, there was ample natural wealth: plenty of different plants, various animals and abundant mineral resources. Though(although is more formal, I prefer) there occurred the law of the jungle, the environment seems could be attain the balance by itself.

interesting

Take a look of the Earth at this time. We invented different kinds of things to make our life more convenient,(;) however, those things are not so perfect. They have caused a serious impact on our Earth. There are many kinds of pollution that threaten people’s health nowadays. The cars make the air polluted, and factories produce water wasted. The next generations of human beings don’t have as many natural environments resources as their ancestor had anymore. The woods that are made furniture and paper products are disappearing disappeared in a horrible speed to make furniture and paper products; as the environments have been destroyed, many species cannot survive and are extinct. Every of the circumstance is made by humans, the most intelligent beings in this Earth.

If we want to sustain on the earth keep this place to be used eternally, we have to make our activities more carefully. We have to grow the trees while we cut any of them( I donot get it); we have to cautiously make any constructional plans cautiously; and the most important thing is, we have to treat any beings as ourselves, take this planet as our home. If people can have the perspective to protect our environment, than and then they will not do any harmful activities to the Earth.

To conclude it, I think it is not the problem that human activities make the Earth better or worse, it is the issue that if people do their activities wisely or not.(what is your point, donot confuse yourself and agaist your stance. it matters!!) By now, we human beings didn’t do a good job on it, however, more and more people are conscious of the problems, and I believe the Earth will recover the previous scenery by more sophisticated operation in the future.

谢谢大家

there are several things you need care:

first, your introducton does not respond to the topic well.

next, I am not sure that the organization in this essay can anwser the issue. even though it does, the answer is too general, but it is interesting.

in addition, the conclusion part become a new idea.

some tips for your writing:

make sure that the essay responds to the topic

organize your supporting points

after writing, leave it for one day and reread it again, and then post it( you can find the problems in a new aspect)

but donot worry: practices make perfect.