写作第二小分队 srafcatt 的作文

srafcatt

The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage cane toads should be declined by three methods,However, yet none of them regard in the eye of the lecture.



First of all, the professor claims that national fence won't be efficient to decline the cane toads because only a few can establish population very fast. In contrast, the reading passage points out that national fence can be effective to prevent them from moving to another parts of the Australia. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage demonstrates that the toad can be captured and destroyed by volunteers. In the lecture, the professor admits the volunteer will mistake the originate ones with the cane toads because their looking is similar.

Finally, the passage raises the issue that virus will be especially designed. The professor opposes to the writer's expectation. She asserts that the virus will destroy the balance of the ecology, content that explicitly contradicts that passage.



In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage, salvage logging is not only economic but also environmental. However, yet none of them regard in the eye of the lecture.

First of all, the professor claims that salvage logging can cause environmental damage. In contrast, the reading passage points out that if dead trees are not removed they will take up the space and no new trees can grow in the cramped spaces. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage demonstrates that dead trees will rise up the number of spruce bark beetles which will damage live healthy spruce trees. In the lecture, the professor admits the originate forest exist the same situation but no damage really happens.

Finally, the passage raises the issue that salvage logging can bring economic benefits and create jobs for the residents. The professor opposes to the writer's expectation. She asserts that since the environment is damaged,it will cost more to fix it, content that explicitly contradicts that passage.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

整体无错额，就是再需要些细节。

tyyhappy

happy刚刚搞定，马上改你的作文^_^稍等嘞~~

kchszy061ban

dear srafcatt，你改作文真的很仔细的说，嘿嘿，等待欣赏你的作文了额

tyyhappy

629
红色是修改，蓝色是疑问，黄色是高亮。
Records saying that there are youngsters (who) prefer to choose a career generally quite different from their parents'(这个句子的主谓语不清楚). And the amounts is（are） considerable. If it is a trend to choose a different job rather than just inherit the parents', then it would be interesting to find out the reasons behind this.（这个引出好像不是切题，题目是should否，但是这个句子的意思是探索现象背后的原因，有些偏题。）

To begin with, as time goes by, the job parents get probably is becoming an old-fashioned one. For example, my little aunt used to make cakes to feed the family, but she now is a worker in a cake factory, because the factory she is working for can make cakes faster cheaper and more delicious. Everyone knows that only ten years past the life(这个说法貌似很chinglish嘿。) can be quite different. Especially today, an era when industries of computer, transportation and mechanization developes (develop) at an incredibly speed. Simply inherit（ing） a job from parents is not a good idea.

Also, children's willingness to contribute themselves to which areas is important(这句应该倒装一下哪，到装完：what areas children’s willingnessto contribute themselves to is important，但是读起来好别扭的说，这么写行不呢：children what areas children prefer to contribute themselves to is important). It indeed is affected by parents. An(A) surprising fact is: Parents always tend to let their children choose another kind of job. My parents are teachers, in fact they do their jobs pretty well for both of them are being highly respected in their schools. But they always told me if I am brave and ambitious, I should try to be employed by the banks. It is too tired to speak and stand in front of the blackboard all day long. But one of my classmate's parents, already working in a bank, told me an(a) completely different story: Competition（s） in banks is(are) very obvious, burdens need to bear is very heavy（这句话有两个谓语，而且句子之间没有连词）. So, don't try to be a bank worker if you get another choice. So, it is not an accident children prefer the jobs different from their parents'.

In addition, sometimes it is boring if the whole family works in the same career. For instance, Sara is one of my favorite film star(stars) and during the past six months she lived with a boy who is crazy about films, too. I thought they would be happy, but the result is (that) they broke up. Then recently, in a show, she complains about it--I broke up with him, because he usually get only one topic to talk about, films! I cannot put up with being with films all the time, (两个句子并列，+and)I need to take a break.

In conclusion, children choose a job to be happy. The job will bring them other parts of the life. So, if a totally different career from their parents' could bring them what they want, let's just wish them a promising future.

To scrafcatt

scafcatt的论证过程和例子都很好的说。

但是有些句子偏chinglish，会有多谓语的现象，和句子并列无连词的现象哪。

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

When talks about moving to another place,many people will hesitate a long time for fear of losing old friends.The point is: Will you really lose your friends, if you are not planning to leave them behind?

Nowadays,ways to be connected are various, keep in contact with your friends and long-standing friendship will even become firmer.For example,I went to a university far from my hometown while most of my friends entered the local one.So we live separated throughout the four years.But every vacation I will renew acquaintance with them.And during traditional festivals I will always get messages from them.Therefore always keep in contact with your friends and you will lose nothing.

In fact, moving to a new country is not that bad.A new place means change and challenge. And this is a significant way to perfect one a lot.Many people feel painful when the failure comes, so they tend to stick to the same place and the same habit.However,it is just the failure that points out where they are inadequate and not developing well. When people adapt to the change and the environment, a meaningful life begins.And no doubt that it is a happy thing to share this period with your old friends.

In addition, relationship needs to be renewed.And in order to do this, moving is inevitable. People ,especially the youths, should extend their social relationships since a successful career is based on relationships,and during the process of making friends we can not only learn how to be good with people but also build our own personality.

In conclusion, the advantages of moving carry more weight than those of staying at the same place because people will learn more and get more by moving without losing their old friends. In deed, only in this way, can one maximize his contributions to the society and to his friends.

不错不错，木有错误的说。

综合修改

The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage cane toads should be declined by three methods,However, yet none of them regard in the eye of the lecture.

First of all, the professor claims that national fence won't be efficient to decline the cane toads because only a few can establish population very fast. In contrast, the reading passage points out that national fence can be effective to prevent them from moving to another parts of the Australia. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage demonstrates that the toad can be captured and destroyed by volunteers. In the lecture, the professor admits the volunteer will mistake the originate ones with the cane toads because their looking is similar.

Finally, the passage raises the issue that virus will be especially designed. The professor opposes to the writer's expectation. She asserts that the virus will destroy the balance of the ecology, content that explicitly contradicts that passage.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

综合的写作还是需要一点点细节额

srafcatt

7月1日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Rather than help their children do schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do work independently. Do you agree or disagree?



思路：赞成独立做

1.培养独立做事的精神很重要

2.鼓励独立并非是否定帮助的必要性。

3.帮助孩子做作业会让作业本身失去意义。

结论：要独立做。

In my opinion,parents should encourage children to do school work independently because of the following three aspects:

Primarily,It is meaningful to cultivate a child's spirit of independence.Because the sense to do things independently will not only build a healthy personality, but also help children to adapt to the society and run on their own careers with more ease.Many famous figures such as tend to do things by themselves,especially Michael Jackson.I've heard that most of Michael's songs and the melodies accompany with the songs are wrote in person.Moreover,during every shows' rehearsal Michael always participated in the designing of the backgrounds,the lights movement, the choreographs,etc.And by doing this, he even create a new style of dance.So,it's not surprised why he was called "THE KING OF THE POP".

Secondly,parents should encourage their children to do homework independently doesn't mean they shouldn't help.In some cases,problems make children confused but without a teacher nearby to ask.In this situation, some hints or tips from parents will make things easier to get through and help children to build up confidence to think further .For example, my little brother's English is poor,and that makes him hate English and don't want to study anything about it.Fortunately,his mother was an English teacher and she teach him how to review the tests and how to find the answers of the school works from the test book.Finally, my little brother find his self-esteem and becomes interested with English.

Although help in some cases helps a lot, too much help will makes the school works useless.The school works are a way to go over the knowledge having been taught,it is a practice to sharp the children's studying skills.Whereas,many parents tend to be biased by their love of their children which would sometimes make them neglect the importance of practicing.There are sayings says Genuine knowledge always comes from practice.If parents replace children to finish the tasks, then the children themselves will lose the chances to perfect their studying skills.

Broadly speaking,Parents should try their best to let children face the difficult things from the school works by themselves.Because every parents they want their children having sharp studying skills and being more independent.

srafcatt

 The reading passage explores the issue of archaeological artifacts now face with a series of problems.  The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that things sounds not that bad, which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her idea.
  First, even though the reading passage suggests that the artifacts will be lost due to the construction program, the professor argues in the lecture that there are a guide line which says that sites can be examined first by archaeologists to see if it is valuable.,which means if the sites is interested in specialists, Obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
  Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that archaeologists' research financial fund is inadequate, the professor contends that this origins of the fund can be useful. Then she supports this point with the fact that the money comes from both the government and the games. In other words,the contribution will be held.
  Finally, the professor asserts that the work will be paid and a significance whereas the author of the reading claims that it is difficult to have a career in archaeology. The professor proves that the work will be paid and  this claim is indefensible by pointing out that
  In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading is incorrect.

瓜瓜不瓜

srafcatt, 我30号的综合明天交，见谅啦！写完来给你汇报

DanielleZ

7月1日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Rather than help their children do schoolwork, parents should encourage their children do work independently. Do you agree or disagree?



思路：赞成独立做

1.培养独立做事的精神很重要

2.鼓励独立并非是否定帮助的必要性。

3.帮助孩子做作业会让作业本身失去意义。

结论：要独立做。

In my opinion,parents should encourage children to do school work independently because of the following three aspects:

Primarily,It is meaningful to cultivate a child's spirit of independence.Because the sense to do things independently will not only build a healthy personality, but also help children to adapt to the society and run on their own careers with more ease.Many famous figures such as tend to do things by themselves,especially Michael Jackson.I've heard that most of Michael's songs and the melodies accompany with the songs are wrote in person.Moreover,during every shows' rehearsal Michael always participated in the designing of the backgrounds,the lights movement, the choreographs,etc.And by doing this, he even create a new style of dance.So,it's not surprised why he was called "THE KING OF THE POP".

Secondly,parents should encourage their children to do homework independently doesn't mean they shouldn't help.In some cases,problems make children confused but without a teacher nearby to ask.In this situation, some hints or tips from parents will make things easier to get through and help children to build up confidence to think further .For example, my little brother's English is poor,and that makes him hate English and don't want to study anything about it.Fortunately,his mother was an English teacher and she teach him how to review the tests and how to find the answers of the school works from the test book.Finally, my little brother find his self-esteem and becomes interested with English.

Although help in some cases helps a lot, too much help will makes the school works useless.The school works are a way to go over the knowledge having been taught,it is a practice to sharp the children's studying skills.Whereas,many parents tend to be biased by their love of their children which would sometimes make them neglect the importance of practicing.There are sayings says Genuine knowledge always comes from practice.If parents replace children to finish the tasks, then the children themselves will lose the chances to perfect their studying skills.

Broadly speaking,Parents should try their best to let children face the difficult things from the school works by themselves.Because every parents they want their children having sharp studying skills and being more independent.

-- by 会员 srafcatt (2012/7/1 18:04:01)

我的作文写好了，亲~我马上修改你的文章哈~