TWE 23 teenagers have jobs while they are still students-谢谢大虾的支持，第二篇

rovejudy

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Nowadays, some people hold the opinion that teenagers should work while they are still in school, but others have a negative attitude. With all aspects carefully considered, it is a wiser choice for teenagers to pay more attentions to study necessary knowledge and learn how to be a good person. Afterwards, I will explain my opinion about it.

The main problem with the argument I opposed is that it is ignorant to the basic fact that teenagers can not afford enough time to both study and work. For one thing, the main task of teenagers is to accomplish the courses which provide them fundamental knowledge and living skills. However, a job can not give them such benefit. In fact, what a child can do are just some easy practices. Furthermore, if teenagers have spent much time on working in their spare time, they may not willing to read various of books after they finish the job, and then miss the colorful and intriguing world that books could lead them to. In contrast, when they come back from a long-time work, maybe the only thing they want to do is to watch television or go to bed. Besides the points mentioned above, in terms of physical health, teenagers can spend more time to take exercises to keep fit if they need not to work. As a proverb said, “Lost time is never found again.” So teenagers should concentrate on more important things rather than take jobs while studying.

Beyond these obvious reasons, there lies a subtle cause that is usually ignored. Teenagers are just on the stage of forming characteristics and the general opinions toward the world and the life. Also in this period of time, children can be easily influenced by different kinds of factors, such as environment, events, and friends and so on. In this sense, a proper guide and a beneficial environment seems crucial for children. However, it is difficult for parents and teachers to control the activities of the persons whom the teenagers might work with and they can hardly make sure that the circumstances are beneficial for their children to work in. To illustrate the importance of environment for a youngster, there is a persuasive example: Mencius is one of the most famous saints in China, who was greatly influenced by his mother. In order to create a good environment for her son to live and study, Mencius’ mother removed the family three times. Although this story happened two thousand years ago, it still has a realistic significant. Actually, it is not a wise consideration to let children to touch the society too early.

In a word, what teenagers ought to do is to study for knowledge, to exercise for health, and to enjoy a happy childhood for forming a positive attitude toward the world and the life; that is to say, they should prepare well for their future. Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion that teenagers should not have jobs while they are studying.

rovejudy

开头应该怎么样明确？

我昨天修改了一下：

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Nowadays, some people hold the opinion that teenagers should work while they are still in school, but others have a negative attitude. With all aspects carefully considered, it is a wiser choice for teenagers to pay more attentions to studying necessary knowledge and learn how to be a good person. Afterwards, I will explain my opinion about it.

The main problem with the argument is that it is ignorant of the basic fact that teenagers can not afford enough time for both study and work. For one thing, the main task of teenagers is to accomplish the courses which provide them with fundamental knowledge and living skills. However, a job can not give them such benefits. In fact, what a child can do is just some easy practices. Furthermore, if teenagers have spent much time in working in their spare time, they may not be willing to read various books after they finish the job, and then miss the colorful and intriguing world that books could lead them to. In contrast, when they come back from a long-time work, maybe the only thing they want to do is to watch television or go to bed. Besides the points mentioned above, in terms of physical health, teenagers can spend more time to take exercises to keep fit if they don’t need to work/ have to work. As a proverb said, “Lost time is never found again.” So teenagers should concentrate on more important things rather than take jobs while studying.

Beyond these obvious reasons, there lies a subtle cause that is usually ignored. Teenagers are just on the stage of forming characteristics and the general opinions toward the world and the life. Also in this period of time, children can be easily influenced by different kinds of factors such as environment, events, friends, and so on. In this sense, a proper guide and a beneficial environment seems crucial for children. However, it is difficult for parents and teachers to control the activities of the persons whom the teenagers might work with and they can hardly make sure whether the circumstances are beneficial for their children to work in. To illustrate the importance of environment for a youngster, there is a persuasive example: Mencius is one of the most famous saints in China, who was greatly influenced by his mother. In order to create a good environment for her son to live and study, Mencius’ mother removed the family three times. Although this story happened two thousand years ago, it still has a realistic significant. Actually, it is not a wise consideration to let children touch the society too early.

In a word, what teenagers ought to do is to study for knowledge, to exercise for health, and to enjoy a happy childhood, thus forming a positive attitude toward the world and the life. That is to say, they should prepare well for their future. Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion that teenagers should not have jobs while they are studying.

pengstone

以下是引用rovejudy在2004-10-7 9:23:00的发言：

开头应该怎么样明确？

我昨天修改了一下：

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Nowadays, some people hold the opinion that teenagers should work while they are still in school, but others have a negative attitude. With all aspects carefully considered, it is a wiser choice for teenagers to pay more attentions to studying necessary knowledge and learn how to be a good person. Afterwards, I will explain my opinion about it.

观点明确就是要articulate your opinion. For this essay, you should clearly contend that students should not work while they are in school.

Veronica_Melody

"Afterwards, I will explain my opinion about it." That's an redundant statement. (Of course you will explain it later.)
By the way, for standard writing, you state your thesis statement in the last sentence of the paragraph.