Teresa 作文贴～ 6，9 考，还有9日倒数！求爆RP

Crystaljoy

那个Music的八股文帖子在这儿
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-711323-1-1.html?extparms=ThreadCatalogID%3d101%26page%3d1

teresaz318

6.4

Tpo 12
The professor is actually contradicts withthe statements made in the reading passage. He is of the view that the evidencesuggests in the reading material was not convincing enough to prove Jane Austenwas the character of the portrait. In the lecture, he uses three specificpoints to demonstrate his idea.

Firstly, even though the reading passagesuggests that the family members attested the painting was indeed Austen, theprofessors reminds us those families have never seen Austen in person before.This is because they verified the picture seventy years after Austen's death.In other words, those family members are not sure whether the painting was JaneAusten or not.

Moreover, despite the reading passageclaims the resemblance of the painting style between the teenage girl andCassandra's sketch, which actually drew Austen before. The instructor says thatthe painting might just depicts one of Austen's relatives rather than herself.Then the professor further supports with the evidence of Austen's big familyand some experts suspect the painting was depicted one of Austen's distancesrelative.

Finally, the professor disproves the finalstatement of the connection between Humphrey's active time and Austen's teenagetime. The speaker points out the stamp on the back of the canvas were provedthat it was sold by a man called William. But the canvas suggest the paintingwas painted at Austen's 27 years old, indicating the portrait was of someoneelse who was much older than the teenager Jane Austen.

teresaz318

6.4

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents shouldencourage their children to do their schoolwork independently rather thanhelp children to do their schoolwork.


Perhaps no issue in the world is as significant to students aseducation. Some people claim that parents should help their children solvetheir schoolwork. I frown on this opinion. I prefer to endorse that parentsshould inspire their children do work independently.

To begin with, encouraging children solve problems individually enableskids to get in to habit of thinking independently, which will not only do goodto their study but also for their future development. Those children who solelydeal with school works are tend to be more independent which, not only moreself-reliant on their study but also for their life. More specifically, arecent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestige universitiesin China, reveals that compare with those students with parents’ help in theirschool work, their counterparts are more likely to stand out in the workplace. Therefore,it is the independence that made the students more successful.

Besides thinking independently, when kids are left alone to figure outsolutions, they will be able to grasp the knowledge better. Survey results conductedby University of Lausanne in Switzerland have consistently shown that studentswho cope with school work independently in their formative years are more likelyto get excellent grades in college. This is because independent thinking makesstudents more intellectually involved in their studies and effectively motivatesthem to utilize as many resources as possible to meet these challenges. Comparewith those parents who help their children to solve problems, they left theillusion for kids can rely on them. Gradually, those children might pay lessattention at class time, because they have no worries about their homeworkunder their parents' assistance.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that sometimesstudents cannot figure out tough problems should ask their parents for help. ButI will not walk away from my view point. This is because students whoindependently conquering series academic difficulties can effectively boosttheir self-confidence and enhance their self-esteem. As a result, eventually handlingdemanding schoolwork by themselves will pay off both intellectually andemotionally.

In the nutshell, I still regard parents should let their children tacklehomework by themselves. It must be noted that learning must be done by a personhimself. Independent study is part of what made one distinguish.



按照cystaljoy 的意见认真的改了一下自己的writing .... >_<  

谢谢你的提议！！！

希望这次有点进步！！ 剩下3天我好惊～～
各位看到有什么问题就直说啊！不要客气

a273007862

亲 我昨天有点事情 一会去评你的作文哈·~别着急~~

joan31217

TPO11

The professor actually contradictswith the reading passage. She is of the view that fewer people readingliterature does not mean a bad effect on the society. （论点貌似有点不太对，没提对社会有啥坏影响）In the lecture, she usesthree specific points to support her idea.

Firstly, the reading passagesuggests that literature provides stimulating ideas to readers. Therefore， thepublic is suffering great loss as fewer people reading literature. （这句很棒）On the contrary,the professor argues that many other reading materials are beneficial to thereaders as well, such as science novels and political writings. In other words,many forms of reading genres （这词用的好）can benefits the public intellectually.

Moreover, the lecture explains thateven if it is true that a lot of people switch to other forms of entertainmentother than reading books, but it does not necessary(necessarily ) mean that the culture isdeclining. In fact people can still lean(learn什么？没宾语） from different types of entertainment,such as appreciate music and art. Television and firms are simply modern formsof cultural expression that are also intellectually inspiring.

Finally, the instructor admits thedecreasing of readers in literature today, but she points out that theliterature writers themselves alienated themselves form public audience byusing complex language. （这句很棒）In contrast, the reading blames the lower standard ofthe public for fewer people tend to enjoy reading literature（没明白这句话）, which makes fewerpublishers to publish literature and pose a threat to literature writers.

谢谢鸟儿帮我改了6.3日的独立， 我来晚了。
MM最后几天坚持住，没问题的！！

a273007862

Perhaps no issue in the world is as significant to students aseducation（我觉得是不是可以再多描述一些呢？引起这个现象的原因是什么~~，不写也没什么关系啦~~）. Some people claim that parents should help their children solvetheir schoolwork. I frown on this opinion. I prefer to endorse that parentsshould inspire their children do work independently.

To begin with, encouraging children solve problems individually enableskids to get in toa habit of thinking independently, which will not only do good well前面是do，后面不应该接good吧~~to their study but also感觉这块少个动词啊~~可以说enable them to get benefits infor their future development. Those children who solelydeal with schools’ works are tend to be more independent which（which这是肿么个情况咧？）, not only more self-reliant（self-reliance）on their study but also for their life(可不可以换个句式呢？都是not only和but also哦~~，可以说both……and~~). More specifically, （there ）are recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestige universitiesin China, reveals（如果前面的survey是are，那这就不要单三） that compared（不能是动词原形啊~~）with those students with parents’ help in theirschools’ (前面是他们，后面的学校要复数)work, their counterparts are more likely to stand out in the workplace. Therefore,it is the independence that made the students more successful.

Besides thinking independently, when kids are left alone to figure outsolutions, they will be able to grasp the knowledge better. （少个定冠词）Survey results conductedby University of Lausanne in Switzerland have consistently shown that studentswho cope with schools‘（还是复数） work independently in their formative years are more likelyto get excellent grades in colleges（复数啦~~）. This is because independent thinking（感觉逻辑不对了，这段其实不应该再说独立思考了呀~~，如果再说就与上一段重复了呢，这个很总要，所有的观点都不要重复，哪怕是同一个例子的观点都不要重复，同一个例子从不同的观点说是可以的）makesstudents more intellectually involved in their studies and effectively motivatesthem to utilize as many resources as possible to meet these challenges（这句我觉得写得很好了，用了很多动词，挺生动的~~学习学习~~）. Compare（还是，要么就加ed，要么就加ing，因为后面没有连词哦~~）with those parents who help their children to solve problems, they left theillusion for kids can rely on them. Gradually, those children might pay lessattention（少个介词 on） at class time, because they have no （no有点严重不？用less好不好呢？）worries about their homeworkunder their parents' assistance.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that sometimesstudents cannot figure out tough problems should ask their parents for help. ButI will not walk away from my view point. This is because students whoindependently conquering（这个是在student后面的从句中吧，那就不加ing，动词原形就行了） series academic difficulties can effectively boosttheir self-confidence and enhance their self-esteem. As a result, eventually handlingdemanding schoolwork by themselves will pay off both intellectually andemotionally.

In the nutshell, I still regard parents should let their children tacklehomework by themselves. It must be noted that learning must be done by a personhimself. Independent study is part of what made one distinguish.我觉得结尾的时候，可以加上一句，比如说我认为孩子应该自己完成作业in terms of你说的几个方面。我认为这样不仅增加字数，更重要的是能让你的文章更加的紧凑一些~~
标黄色的我是觉得好好的句子~~嘻嘻~~总的来说 你的文章写得不错  嘻嘻·、~

a273007862

亲 你快考了吧~~本来想让你去评我的作文~~不过估计你也没时间啦~~莫有关系~~等你考完了去评我的哈·~我30才考呢~~祝110+嘻嘻~~

vanessa923

Tpo 12
The professor is （去掉）actuallycontradictswiththe statements made in the reading passage. He is of the view that the evidencesuggests in the reading material was not convincing enough to prove Jane Austenwas the character of the portrait. In the lecture, he uses three specificpoints to demonstrate his idea.

Firstly, even though the reading passagesuggests that the family members attested the painting was indeed Austen, theprofessors reminds us those families have never seen Austen in person before.This is because they verified the picture seventy years after Austen's death.In other words, those family members are not sure whether the painting was JaneAusten or not.（ 既然都是否定了，那么就不是not sure,而是can not be )

Moreover, despite the reading passageclaims the resemblance of the painting style between the teenage girl andCassandra's sketch, which actually drew Austen before. The instructor says thatthe painting might just depicts one of Austen's relatives rather than herself.Then the professor further supports with the evidence of Austen's big familyand some experts suspect the painting was depicted（ depict是及物动词。无被动，直接用depicts）one of Austen's distancesrelative.

Finally, the professor disproves the finalstatement of the connection between Humphrey's active time and Austen's teenagetime. The speaker points out the stamp on the back of the canvas were provedthat it was sold by a man called William. But the canvas suggest the paintingwas painted at Austen's 27 years old, indicating the portrait was of someoneelse who was much older than the teenager Jane Austen.
楼主听力不错呀。。恩恩。考试加油罗！

teresaz318

6.5
tpo13

The professor actually contradicts with thestatement made in the reading passage. She is of the view that the readingpassage overestimates the disadvantages of the private fossils business. Infact, the professor argues the benefits of the fossils market outweigh thenegative consequences.

First of all, even though the readingpassage suggests that the public will have fewer chances to explore the fossilssince it sold to the private collectors, the professor disagrees with thisopinion. The speaker reminds us the public schools or libraries can also affordthe fossils, which mean the citizens actually have more opportunities to viewthe fossils.

Further, despite the reading passageadvocates that scientists will lose the opportunities to verify the criticalevidence of the fossils, the instructor thinks this idea is unrealistic. Theprofessor then proves her statement by citing the fact that scientists have toexamine the fossils in order to set initial price in the market. In otherwords, all the fossils have to pass the scientists' identification beforelaunch to the market, which means clearly, the professor disproves the readingmaterial.

Finally, the professor challenges the finaldownside of the statement that buyers would destroy the evidence of fossilsmentioned in the reading passage. The speaker reminds us that despite theprivate collectors may caused damage of the fossils in their excavation, theyare made to increase the number of fossils have available to the public. Inother words, the benefits of more fossils far outweighs the valuable fossilsremain unearth.

jasmine35

6.5 TPO13
The professor actually contradicts with the statement made in the reading passage. She is of the view（我又学了个新表达~~~）that the reading passage overestimates the disadvantages of the private fossils business. In fact, the professor argues the benefits of the fossils market outweigh the negative consequences.

First of all, even though the reading passage suggests that the public will have fewer chances to explore（个人感觉这个词用的不是很准，要是我写会用access） the fossils since it（指代有问题，应该换成they） sold to the private collectors, the professor disagrees with this opinion. The speaker reminds us the public schools or libraries can also afford the fossils, which mean（单三） the citizens actually have more opportunities to view the fossils.

Further, despite（后面貌似不能直接加完整句子） the reading passage advocates that scientists will lose the opportunities to verify the critical evidence of the fossils, the instructor thinks this idea is unrealistic. The professor then proves her statement by citing the fact that scientists have to examine the fossils in order to set initial price in the market. In other words, all the fossils have to pass the scientists' identification before launch to the market, which means clearly, the professor disproves the reading material.

Finally, the professor challenges the final downside（不太确定这个词是否正确） of the statement that buyers would destroy the evidence of fossils mentioned in the reading passage. The speaker reminds us that despite the private collectors may caused（直接用原型就好） damage of the fossils in their excavation, they are made（没太理解） to increase the number of fossils have available to the public. In other words, the benefits of more fossils far outweighs the valuable fossils remain unearth（unearthed）.


看到了一些空格的问题，不知是打的时候出的问题还是发布时候出的问题哈~~~
还有，就是第二、第三段的第一句的结尾部分都是一个短句子而且没有什么实质内容，模板的痕迹有点明显，我个人觉得读着不是很舒服~~当然，这只是个人感觉哈~~~